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To think this is the most bizarre item of clothing?

(181 Posts)
TrixieFranklin Sun 03-Feb-19 14:29:42

It popped up as an AD on my Facebook. I understand the body suit trends but surely this would result in being split entirely in two, or the worlds worst front wedgie blush

Aquamarine1029 Sun 03-Feb-19 14:51:10

That is disturbing on so many different levels.

Merename Sun 03-Feb-19 14:52:32


SummerHouse Sun 03-Feb-19 14:52:36

Boohoo indeed! Eyes watering just looking at that crime against humanity.

ChardonnaysPrettySister Sun 03-Feb-19 14:56:24

I wonder whether the whoever designed this would actually be brave enough to wear it.

Hope the model was paid a risk adjustment premium on her on top of her fees.

RedLife Sun 03-Feb-19 14:57:43

She's clearly wearing it backwards!

Sallygoroundthemoon Sun 03-Feb-19 14:58:58

Gosh. That's going to hurt. Ouch.

19lottie82 Sun 03-Feb-19 15:00:33

I’m actually pissing myself at what I’d look like if I put that on 😂

HankNPat Sun 03-Feb-19 15:00:46

A front thong?!?! Dear god. How uncomfortable.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 03-Feb-19 15:01:52

Vulval floss.

thegrinningfox Sun 03-Feb-19 15:02:10

Designed by a man obviously

userschmoozer Sun 03-Feb-19 15:03:07

That would actually make my fanny look like a split dangly pair of bollocks.

OMGithurts Sun 03-Feb-19 15:03:16

"Clothes to make you feel like you, but better", it says. I can 100% guarantee that monstrosity would not make me feel like a better me.

Debruary Sun 03-Feb-19 15:03:17


Two words that should never be linked together.

Rubusfruticosus Sun 03-Feb-19 15:05:06

What is the point of having the front shaped like that?

PerryPerryThePlatypus Sun 03-Feb-19 15:06:02

Only someone who hates their fanny would wear it.

SummerHouse Sun 03-Feb-19 15:06:25

grin @userschmoozer
They should use your line in all marketing of this "piece"

justasking111 Sun 03-Feb-19 15:06:40

I once got what I thought was a pile from a thong type garment, gawd it hurt.

LMBad Sun 03-Feb-19 15:07:44

More like a gunt thong!

Racecardriver Sun 03-Feb-19 15:07:54

@thegrinningfox beat me to it. The most wtf thing about that is that no one would actually see that it’s a fanny thing so what’s the point?

Ellapaella Sun 03-Feb-19 15:08:13

That just screams Thrush 🤢

Enta Sun 03-Feb-19 15:08:46

Only someone who hates their fanny would wear it.

I actually snorted, proper inhale-snorted with laughter at this!

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Sun 03-Feb-19 15:09:00

God your undercarriage would engulf that in under a minute.

NotANotMan Sun 03-Feb-19 15:09:50

Her fanny lips have been photoshopped out grin

Ragnarthe Sun 03-Feb-19 15:10:10

Just spat my tea out when I read your comment grin

Enta Sun 03-Feb-19 15:10:37

Also, weird that it's full sleeve.

Like having bare arms would make it indecent.

SummerHouse Sun 03-Feb-19 15:10:45

In there like swimwear.
This phrase has taken on a sinister new meaning.

WatcherOfTheNight Sun 03-Feb-19 15:12:55

@userschmoozer 🤣 ,I was just thinking the same grin

Cwenthryth Sun 03-Feb-19 15:13:46

Where are her labia? She looks like a barbie with no genitalia confused

Menstruatrawr Sun 03-Feb-19 15:18:55

I’d probably get stopped and questioned by the RSPCA if I wore that, about possible small animal abuse

HumptyDoo Sun 03-Feb-19 15:19:03

What would you wear that with? High-waisted jeans? confused

thegrinningfox Sun 03-Feb-19 15:19:31

Ohh my, exaxtly like that photo @mothertotheLordofmisrule grin

thegreatbeyond Sun 03-Feb-19 15:20:03

It's got a modest sleeve, and isn't too low-cut, making it perfect for church.

emmylousings Sun 03-Feb-19 15:21:13

What a faff when you need a wee? Remove who garment or just pull it to one side. Urgh!

PositivelyPERF Sun 03-Feb-19 15:21:14

They really photoshopped the fuck out of that, didn’t they. She’s completely flat.

TrixieFranklin Sun 03-Feb-19 15:21:17

Vulval floss gringrin

Juells Sun 03-Feb-19 15:24:21

Whenever I see the ads for boohoo on TV I think "only someone who works in porn would wear that!"

marykissmouse Sun 03-Feb-19 15:24:49

Less than an hour in and this thread should be in classics.

HankNPat Sun 03-Feb-19 15:25:49

I've just had an odd thought - it could be quite, erm, stimulating?! But not ideal when you're running for a bus shock

vdbfamily Sun 03-Feb-19 15:26:22

Anyone else wondering how uncomfortable the poppers would be???

DareDevil223 Sun 03-Feb-19 15:27:02

My fanny would be making a desperate bid for freedom if I tried to contain it in that grin

Is it supposed to be sexy? Much as DP both loves and fancies me, he would injure himself laughing if I wore something like that...

thegreatbeyond Sun 03-Feb-19 15:27:36

It doesn't look stimulating at all to me - I feel a bout of cystitis coming on just by looking at it.

DareDevil223 Sun 03-Feb-19 15:28:28

Also can I just say 'chafing' ?

SummerHouse Sun 03-Feb-19 15:32:23

It's a cilice?

TheOrigFV45 Sun 03-Feb-19 15:34:51

That's just the 'basic' model. I wonder what the 'advanced' version has!

Babyboysarenowbig Sun 03-Feb-19 15:37:20


If that’s how a real vajayjay looks like, I have problems!!🤣🤣🤣

JacksonPillock Sun 03-Feb-19 15:37:32

Install adblock

Fluffyears Sun 03-Feb-19 15:37:32

Wow she’s obviously got a very good waxing regime.

Sparklingbrook Sun 03-Feb-19 15:39:10

Oh yuck. Are there poppers or do you step into the neck hole and pull to get it on?

PerryPerryThePlatypus Sun 03-Feb-19 15:48:47

OMG imagine the clit lynching you'd get if you bent over? I'd say you get a free tube of canestan.

MitziK Sun 03-Feb-19 15:56:46

I know it's only seven quid, but so is a 16 pack of Andrex Supreme Quilts from Ocado.

At least with the Andrex, you get to wipe your arse and fanny without having to put a bleach wash on every time.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 03-Feb-19 16:08:39


Happyinheels Sun 03-Feb-19 16:33:35

Takes 'camel toe' to a whole other level 😳

SilverySurfer Sun 03-Feb-19 16:54:44

All I can say is: ouch.

Biancadelrioisback Sun 03-Feb-19 17:42:16

I love boohoo clothes. Not to wear, just to look at and be amazed that people a) buy them and b) wear them.
(Just to point out, a lot of boohoo stuff I do actually like, just some pieces....)

WhatIsTheMeaningOfThis Sun 03-Feb-19 18:16:55

Well I guess there'd be no doubt whether it was a female woman or a male woman wearing it... maybe that's the purpose of it...

Extravagant Sun 03-Feb-19 18:58:33

@thegreatbeyond that made me spit out my tea!

BrilliantDarling Sun 03-Feb-19 19:16:23

They do lovely swimwear too, great for when you're going on a family holiday

BikeRunSki Sun 03-Feb-19 19:18:24

You really would t want that to be at all too short would you?

NoParticularPattern Sun 03-Feb-19 19:20:22

Why is a front thong even a thing?! I mean it’s great if you’re intending on standing completely still whilst wearing it, but one stride too many and that’s a whole new level of flossing. Jesus

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Sun 03-Feb-19 19:22:11

Painful! I saw one today on twitter - wish I’d taken a screenshot - what looked like an old fashioned stocking belt that seemed to be holding up 2 black armbands. Must go off for a look...

NoParticularPattern Sun 03-Feb-19 19:25:20

When I say “great if you’re intending on standing completely still” what I actually mean is “fucking diabolical but at least you won’t cheese wire your own clitoris off”

LordProf I think I’ve seen the one you mean. I believe the words “hedgehog trapped under a floorboard” were used 😂

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Sun 03-Feb-19 19:25:56

Argh my eyes! I don’t want to c&p because it may be asome kind of decency offence... do feel free to google ASOS BUM-FLASHING 'LEG HARNESS‘ 🙈

Sexnotgender Sun 03-Feb-19 19:31:56

That’s utterly rancid confused

This thread is hilarious though, I had a baby yesterday and trying not to laugh as it really hurts!! Shouldn’t have opened this thread...

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Sun 03-Feb-19 19:35:10

Every so and often my news thread runs ‘news’ stories of women who have bought something off a trendy online store after seeing a teensy model looking ‘stunning’ (well that’s always debatable) and what the actual item looks like on. Usually it’s the size of a teabag with the sex appeal of a balaclava.

I find them funny. Especially the sad horse faced photos of women with their £3.99 ‘Kim khardasian’ style (almost) dress with their ease anfing out the back and books dangling out the sides.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Sun 03-Feb-19 19:35:39

Congratulations on the baby!

Sexnotgender Sun 03-Feb-19 20:50:15

Thank you 😊

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 05-Feb-19 16:40:44

Front thong 😂

ChairmanMiaow123 Tue 05-Feb-19 16:46:04

The ‘treat yourself babe’ thing annoys me just as much as the daft bodysuit.

I’d like to know what the original photo looked like; before the photoshop, i mean.

SapphireFire Tue 05-Feb-19 16:56:37

Absolutely horrendous but I'm glad they've designed it otherwise I wouldn't be laughing as much as I am.

"Split, dangly pair of bollocks" anyone?

Literally crying with laughter. My baby is looking at me strangely!

halfwitpicker Tue 05-Feb-19 16:59:40

They'll be 3 4 2 before you know it

BlessedBeTheFruitCake Tue 05-Feb-19 17:00:34

I'd have to take turns covering either the left or right flap both wouldn't fit inblush

tiktok Tue 05-Feb-19 17:02:00

Great typos, LordProf.....😂😂😂

hipposarerad Tue 05-Feb-19 17:03:41

That's just asking for a dose of thrush

ShatnersBassoon Tue 05-Feb-19 17:06:08

How fucking impractical is a front thong? I'd orgasm running for the bus in that.

Is it this year's joke item, like the mankini was 10 years ago?

Ifangyow Tue 05-Feb-19 17:07:03

Books dangling out of the sides ??


Handy if your a librarian I suppose.


BrilliantDarling Tue 05-Feb-19 17:08:11


Maybe something like this...

( p.s it's a piece of ham by the way, not actual flaps!)

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Tue 05-Feb-19 17:08:48

Its gonna cover one flap or the other; and stuff the gaping flap-gap up top where i stretched up the clit end during childbirth.

notacooldad Tue 05-Feb-19 17:10:27

Ha! Only someone who hates their fanny would wear it.
I saw that comment on Twitter earlier. Made me laugh.

FurryDogMother Tue 05-Feb-19 17:11:02

One of the models Boohoo use looks permanently surprised. Now I know why smile

LadyofMisrule Tue 05-Feb-19 17:13:35

Is this what you were looking for?

AliyyaJann Tue 05-Feb-19 17:15:30

Boohoo target <30's- The porn generation.

mummmy2017 Tue 05-Feb-19 17:16:15

How can someone so thin have thighs like that?
And weird where the suit starts.
We used to wear these , with bigger pants section in 1980.
Loved them with jeans, but blooming hell the poppers hurt... Used to see my up and undress to use the look.

AryaStarkWolf Tue 05-Feb-19 17:17:01

LadyofMisrule That one doesn't even look as bad anymore now I've seen the one in the OP, a fucking front thong?? Why though?, normal thongs are bad enough but how could you not permanently destroy all sensitivity from that area by wearing one of those things?, gross

AliyyaJann Tue 05-Feb-19 17:17:29

Wonder if it leaves skids being white and all

toddlepod Tue 05-Feb-19 17:18:26

I saw it earlier and laughed at one of the comments ' hedgehog on a clothes line' smile

Missingstreetlife Tue 05-Feb-19 17:23:41


Connieston Tue 05-Feb-19 17:28:04

At least in the eighties "bodies" were like generously cut leotards with three sensible poppers.

Even then they were a pain in the front bum.

*hoists bosom.

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser Tue 05-Feb-19 17:33:00

Pahahahaha this thread hit Fox News and Apple News!

MenopausalMaud Tue 05-Feb-19 17:58:50

'Ruched front' - I'd say mine would be a bit more than ruched blush

xsquared Tue 05-Feb-19 19:44:00

This thread has also hit Yahoo news as I was checking my email!

Marmaladehandbag Tue 05-Feb-19 19:57:16

I'm eight months pregnant and wondering how that would work on me....

I just find the long sleeves but confusing, like you need to be prim and proper and cover your arms up, but have you flaps dangling out of the bottom at the same time.

hipposarerad Tue 05-Feb-19 20:00:09

The sartorial equivalent of a mullet - the top is all business and the bottom says "let's party"

Marmaladehandbag Tue 05-Feb-19 20:05:26

* the top is all business and the bottom says "let's party"*


ChairmanMiaow123 Tue 05-Feb-19 20:08:17

@BrilliantDarling - you’re sick! 😂

I love it. 😉

lozengeoflove Tue 05-Feb-19 20:12:01

I see Borat has branched out into designing for women.

Vinorosso74 Tue 05-Feb-19 20:17:06

Bodysuits for all your genital flossing needs sponsored by Veet!

Marmaladehandbag Tue 05-Feb-19 20:29:06

I wonder if they will bring out a maternity version? Or if they have something similar in progress for the men's section?

starzig Tue 05-Feb-19 20:30:14

Used to wear them all the time in the late eighties.

custardcream1000 Tue 05-Feb-19 20:33:32

This brings a whole new meaning to the acronym VPL. Buy this and you can have a lovely vagina protruding line confused

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