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Niece has named her daughter the same name as my daughter.

(310 Posts)
GreyEyed Sat 03-Nov-18 20:39:13

My daughter was born 4 weeks ago (still in hospital) as she arrived premature. Niece gave birth yesterday morning and named her the same name (although I'm putting a long version on the BC). I'm a bit hurt tbh. AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
FrazzyAndFrumpled Sat 03-Nov-18 20:41:04

Why are you hurt? Will your DC see a lot of each other? I don’t see the problem tbh, you don’t own the name.

Congratulations on your baby, I hope she’s doing well.

Whoisshequestionmark Sat 03-Nov-18 20:41:12

No one owns a name but I do think it's odd. I wouldn't like it tbh.

Thehop Sat 03-Nov-18 20:42:18

I know mn thinks it’s okay but I’d hate this

YerAuntFanny Sat 03-Nov-18 20:42:25

I'd find it odd and not something I'd do myself but i doubt it was supposed to be hurtful. Perhaps it's a name she loved throughout pregnancy and decided to stick with it?

I totally get why your upset though, I hope your daughter is doing well and on the road home soon flowers

YerAuntFanny Sat 03-Nov-18 20:42:48


DayManChampionOfTheSun Sat 03-Nov-18 20:42:53

Is it a family name? Are you close with your dn? Is it likely they will see each other regularly?

GreyEyed Sat 03-Nov-18 20:43:06

I think they will see each other quite a bit, yes. We are a relatively small family and they still come to my mums every weekend and we are all there.

I know I don't own the name.

OP’s posts: |
happypoobum Sat 03-Nov-18 20:43:34

Not this again!

Let's be kind and say it's the hormones causing you to react so irrationally OP.

It's perfectly normal for people who are related to share a name, and your neices child isn't that close a relation.

I hope both babies are healthy. Congratulations.

Bananacakes Sat 03-Nov-18 20:43:54

Does she know? I’m assuming she does. She must’ve had that name ready and made a decision to go with it if so. Maybe they were really upset when they found out what you called your daughter.
They must have a good reason. Can’t you ask someone mutual?

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Nov-18 20:44:05

This so doesn't bother me

Then again, I come from a very large Irish family with lots of 'Marys' and 'Patricks'.

bridgetreilly Sat 03-Nov-18 20:44:16

YABU, sorry, especially since yours will actually have a different name. The worst that this means is occasional moments of confusion, but really it won't be a big deal. And, hey, she loves the name you also love!

JungDisciple Sat 03-Nov-18 20:44:22

So lacking in imagination. Im scarlet for her.

GreyEyed Sat 03-Nov-18 20:44:34

It isn't a family name at all.

Maybe it is just the hormones. Thank you for the well wishes!

OP’s posts: |
John4703 Sat 03-Nov-18 20:46:19

I have the same name as my older cousin, it did cause some confusion but I was known as Springburn John and he was Bearsden John. Springburn and Bearsden are districts in Glasgow
Even now Google gets us mixed up on my email address list..

EmeraldVillage Sat 03-Nov-18 20:46:25

Well yes of course you don’t own a name but if you’re going to see that family member all the time and the children are the same age then actually I do think it a bit off.

Bambamber Sat 03-Nov-18 20:47:05

Had you already chosen the name during pregnancy? Maybe she had and is sticking with it?

I have to admit, I wouldn't be too happy. I know no one owns a name, but I would be put out that out if all the names out there, it had to be the same bloody one. I wouldn't let on though, especially if not sure if the other person had been planning the name

TurkeyBear Sat 03-Nov-18 20:47:09

If your daughter was prem then your niece would have probably used the name before you if your daughter was born term, and had probably picked it out ages ago.

Maybe it was you that stole 'her' baby name op? Just a thought.

SleightOfMind Sat 03-Nov-18 20:47:19

Has she ever said anything to you about the name?
Also how similar are the long and short form?
So, if you’ve announced the arrival of your Elizabeth and she’s now announcing her Betsy, you have to be gracious about it (even if you secretly had Betsy earmarked as your favourite nn).


3out Sat 03-Nov-18 20:47:32

I think your niece must have already chosen the name before you gave birth and has just chosen to stick with it. If that’s the case then maybe she’s a bit put out that you ‘pinched’ the name (because, I presume, you were due after her?)
Hope your DD is home soon, what a stressful time it must be.

DayManChampionOfTheSun Sat 03-Nov-18 20:47:33

Had you both discussed names before the birth? I think it's likely she had picked it before and when she found out you used it, just decided to keep the name she liked anyway.

Have you asked anyone if she decided to call her dc the name inky after you had yours?

Congrats BTW, I'm bit trying to be an arse, just trying to give you a way to look at it so you don't get pissed off everytime you see her! flowers

WallisFrizz Sat 03-Nov-18 20:48:03

It would annoy me as they were born so close together. I’d think “really, of all the names in the world you had to pick the exact same one as my dc within weeks of me naming it?!”

If they were a generation apart (as I thought you were going to say) wouldn’t bother me.

Juicer54321 Sat 03-Nov-18 20:48:21

It would annoy me but maybe the children will like sharing a name?

iamyourequal Sat 03-Nov-18 20:48:28

YANBU. Unless it’s a traditional family name you were both set on? Of course you don’t own the name, but it still seems a bit off when someone does that. It will probably stop bothering you with time. Our friends had a baby girl a month before our first was due. They ‘used’ our baby girl name (unbeknown to them). We felt that meant we definitely couldn’t use it. It would have just seemed wrong. Thankfully we had a boy anyway!

Pebblespony Sat 03-Nov-18 20:49:13

Did she know in advance what you were naming your child? If she had a name picked for AGES and only just found out 4 days ago that you had the same one, then you can't really blame her for going with it.

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