Niece has named her daughter the same name as my daughter.

[GreyEyed]

My daughter was born 4 weeks ago (still in hospital) as she arrived premature. Niece gave birth yesterday morning and named her the same name (although I'm putting a long version on the BC). I'm a bit hurt tbh. AIBU?

[Sparklerfizz]

Op please don’t blame your hormones.
You can be hormonal and still rational in your thoughts about what is acceptable what isn’t.
I think your niece has behaved in a very underhand way, even more so given your own dd is still in hospital.

[bridgetreilly]

Okay, I do think that's a bit weird, if she knew the name you were planning to use in advance and hadn't even thought to have a conversation with you about using it as well. Different if you'd both been keeping it quiet and then turned out to have had the same idea. But even so, I wouldn't be hurt, just a bit annoyed.

[JosellaPlayton]

Well I hadn't kept the name we chose a secret through pregnancy so she knew the name before, even if I was due after her. When the family asked her about names she always said she just wasn't sure yet.

In that case I do think what she’s done is really weird, I had assumed it was a coincidence. Still not much you can do about it but YANBU to upset.

[Witchend]

You can change your baby's name for about 6 weeks I think, so if you want you can change it.

[OhEctoplasmOnIt]

Sometimes even 36 weekers can be in hospital 4 weeks @Rebecca36 it doesn't mean they'll die, you psychopath.

[bbcessex]

What a tough time for you, OP, especially as you want your ‘Ollie’ to be home being fussed over too.

YADDDDNBU to be surprised / angry / upset. Only in MN world would this go uncommented on.

Hope your little one is home soon ❤️❤️

[GreyEyed]

I know I can change her name but she is in hospital and everyone knows her as her name now, it just is her name. We had the name from when we found out her sex. I appreciate that is my own choice though.

[DarklyDreamingDexter]

My children have the same names as my cousin's children. We clearly have the same taste in names. It isn't big deal. Lots of families have several members with the same name.

[GreyEyed]

No I know family members can share the same name. It just seems in this situation really upsetting tbh but yeah.

Thanks again for all the well wishes.

[RebootYourEngine]

I would find this strange. What are other family members saying about this?

[Cachailleacha]

They are first cousins once removed, not siblings. Even if they will see a lot of each other, a child could easily share a name with a friend, like others have said, there are ways around it.

If it bothers you that much then change your child's name, or use their middle name instead.

[ExFury]

I’d say the fact she’s been cagey through the pregnancy is because she had chosen that name but was probably trying to find another one.

[loopylass13]

What if she uses the full version on the birth certificate too - so same certificate name and nickname etc? How would you feel? Maybe use "Oliver" as a middle name.

[GreenTulips]

I think this is a newish (as in last century!) thing whereby names are tending to become more unusual

Thank god!!

Who wants a family of big c little c Johns C baby C

Give them their own names

Sorry OP I agree it's a shitty thing to do

[OhEctoplasmOnIt]

Has nobody in your family had a word with her?

[Schuyler]

YANBU. I’ve never known anyone who would be blasé about someone naming their child the same as a relative especially in a close family and so close after the child was born. That’s not even to mention the insensitivity of doing that to parents of a poorly baby. I hope your little one is doing as well as can be and is home with you soon.

[GreyEyed]

Honestly other family haven't actually said much, they're just so delighted over her birth. Honestly it's a really shitty situation. The comparing has already began. They ofc all love "chubby babies" which is exactly what my nieces daughter is and exactly what mine isn't. Although my daughter is absolutely perfect

[GreyEyed]

My mum seems more interested in her great granddaughter (her 1st great grandchild) and I'm sure that's because she has been there and done that with grandchildren already.

Gosh I sound so sensitive!! Sorry!!

[Cawfee]

I’d be upset by this OP. Of all the names out there she has to pick the same as you!! Weird!

[Willow1992]

We decided what we would call our DD early in this pregnancy, have told our DS's and have started to think of her as that now. If someone else announced a few weeks before she was born that they had used the name out of pure coincidence we wouldn't change it just on that basis, because it already feels like our DDs name if that makes sense. Could it be something like that for your niece?

[ProudThrilledHappy]

Out of curiosity will both DC have the same surname too?

[cheesefield]

This is always a tricky one I think.

If it's something very common like Ella/Amelia/Olivia then I think it's just a case of being a top 20 name and lots of people will have chosen the same.

If it's something very personal and unusual I think it's a bit different.

[GreyEyed]

No they will share a surname though as both I and niece have double barrelled when married.

Yes maybe it was like that for her but I just don't know why she didn't mention it when I said to the family "oh we like these names" and then a month later we actually said this is the name. She never once said they were names/the name she was thinking of :/

[masktaster]

Yanbu op

I was due around the same time as my SIL, and we made a point of discussing names to make sure toes weren't stepped on. We ended up having a DS and them a DD, but I still felt reassured that they wouldn't use "our" girl name, which we picked out before DS was even conceived, and is still on the table for if we ever have a DD. I'd've felt so hurt if they'd used it, even though we didn't have a DD.

[NorthernRunner]

GreyEyed this would upset me too but I think when you consider your daughter was premature it just makes the situation worse. Not much that I can say but I sympathise, I think your niece was sneaky.