Niece has named her daughter the same name as my daughter.

[GreyEyed]

My daughter was born 4 weeks ago (still in hospital) as she arrived premature. Niece gave birth yesterday morning and named her the same name (although I'm putting a long version on the BC). I'm a bit hurt tbh. AIBU?

**I'm not that should say

Sorry, just saw it was 4 weeks ago.

We have 5 Johns in a family. It's just that it's a popular name. No one has a problem with it

I do wonder if she had decided to name her dc months ago but you managed to get in there first, in which case YABU. I hope both dc are doing well.

This would absolutely irritate me. Yes of course no owns a name blah blah but seriously where’s the originality in using a very new baby’s name who you will see frequently. Also a baby who is still in hospital. A bit off i think.
Also she could at least have told you before the name announcement. I presume she didn’t?

If this was a niece you saw once a year I’d think yabu.
But bloody hell! She is at your mums once a week.
You have just welcomed a baby into the family. Your precious child. And gave her a name.
Now another close relative she will have a lot to do with is named the same.
Honestly don’t think I could hold back from telling her how upset I was and I think I would be cooking the relationship off.
I can’t believe another family member like your mum or dsis/Dbro haven’t told her how selfish she has been.
Each baby should have their own name to honour and welcome their birth.
This is not like a family name where you are named after an aunt to honour them. They are the same age!
It’s ludicrous and hurtful to you.
Not your hormones at all!

I'm sorry but I'd be fuming, perhaps I'd be unreasonable too but it's just something you don't do unless the name has some sort of deep significance

*cooling the relationship off. Not cooking

It’s odd

As her baby was due around the same time or even before yours, she may even see it the other way, that you stole her name? It's hard to no if anyone is BU without knowing her side.

However my daughter was premature, we were robbed of so much normal new baby stuff, she only got 2 new baby cards and everyone kept their distance for a while as they didn't no if she'd be ok and felt awkward. So id have been pretty upset if someone had their baby at full term and used her name too, unreasonable or not, it's hard having your baby in hospital for so long and missing out on the experience you expect, I was extra hormonal the whole time and for a long time after. I hope your little one gets to come home soon

If she's at your mum's house once a week, I think I'd tell my mum how uncomfortable it had made me and maybe your mum can cool this off a bit if you're there too so that you aren't both calling your kids the same names in front of each other. I would have to say something too so she knew. Weirdo!

I have no idea why MN is so sniffy about this. I'm with you, if a relative or close friend used the same name as me I'd be really cross. I've gone for less common names for my kids to reduce the chances of that happening but I really feel for you OP. It isn't hormones, it's an upsetting thing, you feel like something has been taken from your baby, a part of their identity.

I can see why you’re upset. But.

You both like the same name best.

Do you think she should have given her daughter her second favourite name, just because you’d used the favourite first?

I was named something else at birth. Then my cousin was born three months later and was named the same thing. Mum changed my name!

Unless it’s a very unusual/unique name then I suspect it’s just coincidence and that your niece has also had the name picked for months. Not wanting to push the fact that your baby was premature (I hope they are doing well) but if you’d gone overdue and your niece had had her baby first then you would have been the one that stole it from her, not the other way around! Put it down to you both having great taste

It’s a ridiculous thing to do. I’d be really cross. Make sure your dd isn’t dumped with the rubbish version so they can be told apart.

My cousin married a woman with the same name as me and from then on in I was know as littlecranky rather than cranky, I was annoyed and felt she should be called cranky2 as I’d been in the family longer

Congratulations on your new daughter. Don't fret about your niece. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. xx

She could have had that name picked out way before she even knew you were pregnant and from her view you "took" her name. I think it's actually quite sweet that theyll have a namesake buddy in the family

Yes I agree, I think it's weird. Most people want to be different.

Congratulations on your new baby.

I think people overreact to 'same' names, tbh. Imagine it was you who had picked out a name for your baby months ago, kept it quiet, and then 'bam', a family member or friend has a baby a few days or weeks before you and use 'your' name! They didn't know you'd planned to use the same name; you didn't know they'd planned to use the name.

Are you really going to tell me you would happily shrug and hit the baby name lists again? Or would you go with the name you had picked out, thought about, practiced saying in your head...?

Let it go.

Could you just try to think that it has happened because you have chosen such a lovely name that other people/family members are bound to want to use it too?

I think this is a newish (as in last century!) thing whereby names are tending to become more unusual, more individual, & so it feels a bit more like someone's weeing on your turf if they go with the same name as you.

This probably wasn't a thing when people tended to choose from the same narrow pool of names - people just adopted nicknames or added descriptors eg. 'Big John' or Lizzie, not to be confused with her cousins who were also called Elizabeth after theur grandmother but answered to Beth, Eliza, Lisa & Betty.

My ds has William as a middle name, mostly as a safety net name in case he hated his unusual first name (luckily he doesn't).

Both my & xh's families are positively hooching with Williams, Wills, Bills & Billys. We all seem to have had the same grandparents in mind (xh & I both had a grandfather called William, probably because it was incredibly trendy in the first few years of the C20th).

No one stresses about this. But if two of my second cousins both call their babies by the same, non traditional name, it's handbags at dawn.

Names just go in fashions. No point getting annoyed about it.