Page 2 | to choose the same baby name as my sister?

(292 Posts)
jane2019 Fri 29-Jun-18 16:07:34

DH and I first discussed baby names about 12 years ago when kids were still a long way off for us and we decided on a boys name we liked then and we decided a girls name about 6 years ago. These obviously weren't set in stone and we never told anyone else what the names were.
2 years ago my sister had her 2nd son and named him Benjamin but he is always referred to as/ called Benji. Benjamin was going to be our name for a boy. My sister didn't know this and I didn't tell her this after she had him either but I did mention it to my mum when she told me he'd been born and the chosen name.
I am now pregnant and it's a boy and there is literally not one other name I can find that I like for boys, nevermind one that my DH would also like. DH has one other name he likes but I don't like it. It's quite unusual and I tend to prefer old-fashioned, traditional names. I have read websites full of lists of names and still there is nothing I can find!
Since Benji is Benji how unreasonable do you think it is to call my son Benjamin?
I see my sister and her family about 5 times a year but we are quite close and keep in touch regularly via social media along with our other sister and brother.
I don't think she'd be thrilled about me choosing the same name as her but I don't know if it would bother her that much especially if we call him Benjamin and never Benji.
It is not a particularly unusual or unpopular name, always in the top 50, so I wouldn't be bothered if a friend also used it but with it being my sister's child's name I do feel a bit like I am overstepping the line.

OP’s posts: |
MrsJayy Fri 29-Jun-18 16:20:01

I have cousins with the same name it is a family name but there is 20 years and loads of children difference I really think you should try and find another name,

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Fri 29-Jun-18 16:20:26

How about Benedict, instead?

LipstickHandbagCoffee Fri 29-Jun-18 16:21:10

No one has dibs on a name,she can’t reasonably ask you to not use it

Jeezoh Fri 29-Jun-18 16:21:31

I wouldn’t do it and I’m afraid I’d think you were a bit odd (and very unimaginative) if you did it. If it was a family name that held deep meaning to both you and your sister it would perhaps make more sense but otherwise, it’s a no from me.

Osirus Fri 29-Jun-18 16:22:18

I must be weird as I don’t think this would bother me. Talk to your sister I think.

TheClitterati Fri 29-Jun-18 16:22:31

There seems to be a lot of these threads around lately - has it become a thing?

Op i kindly say to you are I say to the others - don't be a dick.

MrsPicklesonSmythe Fri 29-Jun-18 16:23:01

It's unreasonable. They'll be both Ben when they're older.

LipstickHandbagCoffee Fri 29-Jun-18 16:23:36

I wouldn’t seek her permission or talking it over
Plenty families have cousins with same name

LondonElle Fri 29-Jun-18 16:24:48

No I definitely wouldn’t. A name is an important part of someone’s identity and to have the same name in a close family would be confusing: besides which what if in the future both boys decided that want to be called Ben!!! I decided against the name Neive because my niece was called Eve, despite my husband loving the name for years we soon found another!!

WillowRose79 Fri 29-Jun-18 16:26:37

I wouldn't but you only see her 5 times a year!! That's really not a a lot at all!! its not like yourl be seeing her Benji all the time. There are so many nicer names than Ben though as well so id keep looking!

Deshasafraisy Fri 29-Jun-18 16:27:43

There’s a million names out there! Pick another one.

BlueSapp Fri 29-Jun-18 16:27:44

I wouldn't do it but it has been done in my family, a cousin who lives overseas has the same name as my brother.

I've never actually met him as hes much older than me, but similar age to my brother, it didn't ever matter to us at all, but I think if he'd lived in the same country and there were family get togethers it might've been a bit more strange.

iwantavuvezela Fri 29-Jun-18 16:28:56

Make you have two so. You came the first Benjamin. Now what name do you call the second. That's the name you use!

BewareOfDragons Fri 29-Jun-18 16:29:03

I wouldn't do it.

There are 100s of boys names. I think you're being a bit ridiculous thinking you can't come up with another name ... what if you went on to have 3 boys yourself ... are you going to call them all Benjamin? i highly doubt it.

JessambardKingdomBrunel Fri 29-Jun-18 16:29:05

Her son won't be Benji forever. He'll be Ben from the moment he enters secondary school, if not before, as will yours.

You surely cannot be so unimaginative that you and your dh cannot find one other name you both like? It must be the hormones making you think that this name is the only one - in reality, it isn't and there are thousands out there.

JobHunting4 Fri 29-Jun-18 16:30:07

It's totally a dogs name -trying to put you off- just don't do it

ikeepaforkinmypurse Fri 29-Jun-18 16:30:53


3 years difference between the boys, you will look like an idiot if you chose the same name.

If you were closer to your sister, that name would be associated with your nephew anyway, it's weird you can imagine your own baby with it.

GreatGizmos Fri 29-Jun-18 16:31:00

I have a very similar name as a cousin (think Liz and Eliza) and it's been fine. That said, there really are hundreds of names you can choose instead, personally I'd feel this one has been spoiled for me and I'd find something new. I totally feel for you though - I had my names for my kids decided many years before they were born, and I'd have been gutted if a sibling had chosen them.

LoveInTokyo Fri 29-Jun-18 16:31:33

I wouldn't, I'm afraid. Not for first cousins.

Mitzimaybe Fri 29-Jun-18 16:31:35

No, don't do it.

Snappedandfarted2018 Fri 29-Jun-18 16:33:12

When my nan passed away her one wish was that my brother who was expecting a girl, named her after my nan. She has a very pretty, lovely name. But my brother never did.

No offence but how selfish can you be to expect your grandchild to name his dd after them! No wonder he didn’t. Could you imagine the Aibu my dh is expecting time to name our dd after his nana after she made him promise on her death bed.

Starlighter Fri 29-Jun-18 16:33:42

He’s Benji now but there’s every chance they’ll both be Ben when they’re older.

I really wouldn’t. I would find it quite a weird thing to do tbh.

CrispyBanger Fri 29-Jun-18 16:34:50

Don't do it. My sister did this to me and it was just weird. My mum now has 2 grandkids with pretty much the same name.

Mrsmadevans Fri 29-Jun-18 16:34:52

Call him what you want to it's nobodys business .

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 29-Jun-18 16:34:53

Nope, you can’t.

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