Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think that’s it’s cheeky as fuck to expect other people to fund your skin removal surgery?

381 replies

Lactofreechummy · 27/03/2018 13:53

My friend had gastric bypass surgery last year after really struggling with her weight since childhood.

She has done amazingly well and lost over 11 stones.

Yesterday, I had a notification pop up on facebook.

My friend has set up a page where people can donate money to help fund her skin removal surgery. The target is set at £6,500.

As someone who has also lost a considerable amount of weight (5.5 stones) and also has some extra skin etc, I find it ludicrous to even think of asking for other’s to fund it. I have told my friend this and she said that she couldn’t think of any other way to raise funds quickly enough.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 27/03/2018 13:57

I don't think her friends should fund it no, I think the nhs should fund it. Just block her on fb if it bothers you.

Gromance02 · 27/03/2018 13:59

I don't think the NHS is there to fund things like this. £6500 isn't that much to save up/borrow from the bank. Plenty of people would think nothing of spending that much on a car for example.

DairyisClosed · 27/03/2018 13:59

Why should the NHS (a. K. A. Her friends through paying tax) fund it? She was the one who got fat in the first place. She created the problem so it's her problem to deal with.

Bluebell66 · 27/03/2018 14:01

If people can't get cancer drugs on the NHS why the hell should it fund excess skin removal??? What a ridiculous suggestion.

HuskyMcClusky · 27/03/2018 14:03

I think 90+% of crowdfunding is cheeky as fuck, so...🤷🏻‍♀️

I just ignore it.

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:07

Dairy i lost ten stone and have some loose skin around my stomach Its been over 14 years so ive learned to live with it.

Do i get an award or are you too busy fapping away over the prospect of another fat shaming thread.

Because ppl like you are proof that the shaming and the hatred continues even after the weight is lost.

BastardGoDarkly · 27/03/2018 14:13

Some people will be happy to help I suppose.

I'd rather save myself, or live with it, like many cosmetic flaws.

But if she's got the front, let her get on with it.

Trinity66 · 27/03/2018 14:15

It's up to people if they want to help her out tbf if it were a friend of mine I'd help her out and congratulate her on doing so well

Catspaws · 27/03/2018 14:16

Should be available on the NHS, but it isn't and it's more expensive than most people can afford. Why do you care if she's fundraising? It's a request, not a demand - you can ignore it. Excess skin is uncomfortable and demoralising and can lead to pain, discomfort and infection. Can you blame her for seeking an end to that? And if her friends and family are willing to help, why do you care?

The fact that you told her you disapprove is especially rude and unnecessary.

ChillyNipsAreCold · 27/03/2018 14:18

A friend of mine lost loads of weight and had excess skin removed by the NHS. It's got to have been 10 years ago now though. She put all the weight back on about 18 months later. She now seems happy with herself.

Jengnr · 27/03/2018 14:19

She's asking. Not expecting.

I wouldn't do it myself but I kind of admire people who have the stones tbh. :)

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:21

There was a poster on here who has lost 20 stone and couldnt get the NHS to remove the loose skin she had despite constantly getting skin infections.

ShatnersWig · 27/03/2018 14:23

You want the NHS to do this? Fine. Then you need to change the current tax system to something like this:

Salary £11k - £20k stays at 20%
Salary £20k - £30k increase to 30%
Salary £30k - £45k increase to 40%
Salary £45k - £100k increase to 50%
Salary over £100k increase to 60%

Then we can all have everything we want done on the NHS. We'd also get rid of potholes on the roads, decent social care for the elderly and better education.

Up for that are we?

KittenBeast · 27/03/2018 14:25

There was a poster on here who has lost 20 stone and couldnt get the NHS to remove the loose skin she had despite constantly getting skin infections.

Awaiting the 'she shouldn't have got fat then' comments from these geniuses.

Anyway, if it was one of my mates, I'd donate to her crowdfunding page and hope she got the surgery, because I'm not a twat.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 27/03/2018 14:25

I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't overly judge this person for doing so. They're upfront about it, it's up to other people whether they want to help or not.

I don't think it should be available on the NHS, as awful as it must be to live with.

stitchglitched · 27/03/2018 14:26

I think it's fine, nobody is forced to donate but some of her friends and family might be happy to. I watched the show Lisa Riley did about having skin removed after her weightloss, a few of the people she spoke to had crowd funded for their skin removal surgery- it was impacting their lives, restricting their movement, causing infections etc. You don't have to donate so why do you care?

Imsosceptical · 27/03/2018 14:26

I don’t think you stress about it, many people opt to crowdfund, some more deserving than others, however, if she achieves her goal good on her!! You are not obliged to contribute to the fund so don’t feel that you should, however, you cannot knock her initiative for thinking out of the box, and if she does succeed, maybe have a go yourself! No one is forced to make a contribution but you would be surprised how many do xx

Ellie56 · 27/03/2018 14:27

Yes fine with that ShatnersWig because I'd never pay more than 20%.

OohMavis · 27/03/2018 14:28

If her friends want to help, then why not? Why would you begrudge your friend help from those who choose to give it.

Eveforever · 27/03/2018 14:29

I agree, it's not a demand, it's a request and as such you can ignore it. I don't mean to be antagonistic, but are you jealous that you didn't think of doing this yourself? I'm asking this because I can't understand why you're so annoyed about this. If people don't want to, or are unable to help her, then they don't have to, it's quite simple.

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:30

Shatner i know youve been on the dating thread.

Would you sleep with or date a woman that had loose skin from weight loss?

EweDoEwe · 27/03/2018 14:31

I wouldn’t donate but I would absolutely think my friend was a cheeky fucker. Like a PP, I think 99% of crowdfunding these days is cheeky as fuck.

Still, if you don’t ask you don’t get and no doubt some mugs will cough up for her.

Shockers · 27/03/2018 14:33

So the people who got fat, then lost a lot of weight (which is some achievement- well done!), should just stay fat as a reminder of their greedy ways, should they?

Or... they could lose weight, get healthier, have the skin removal on the NHS, take little else out financially because now their joints and internal organs aren’t under as much pressure and their mental health has improved... and inspire others to do the same.

Pumperthepumper · 27/03/2018 14:38

I don’t think crowdfunding is a totally ludicrous way to fund something like this, if she was my friend I’d donate to it. How else could she raise that money?

BoredOnMatLeave · 27/03/2018 14:38

she said that she couldn’t think of any other way to raise funds quickly enough I don't know why it needs to be done quickly, can't she save up or get a loan?

I don't think it should be done on the NHS or crowd funding to be honest. And I say that as someone who has a fair bit of loose skin through weightloss (not to that extent though)