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To be angry at photos at Nativity?

(759 Posts)
MrsAnamCara Thu 14-Dec-17 15:45:28

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

MaggieMeldrum Thu 14-Dec-17 15:46:59

Yanbu at all. It’s standard practice now in most schools to need written permission

QuinnsNo1Lady Thu 14-Dec-17 15:47:10

What do you think will happen to your child if anyone sees a picture of them?

MaggieMeldrum Thu 14-Dec-17 15:47:56

I think the problem is that many parents/guardians don’t understand the reasons behind needing permission

CR7987 Thu 14-Dec-17 15:48:09


curryforbreakfast Thu 14-Dec-17 15:48:14

Nobody legally needs your permission to take photos or video of your child.

MaggieMeldrum Thu 14-Dec-17 15:49:48

Quinns, every school I’ve ever worked in has at least one child in foster care. Often the child’s biological parents can not know where the child is living or what school they are attending

YerAWizardHarry Thu 14-Dec-17 15:50:14

Are you sure you didn't sign a blanket policy document when your child started? I know we did when my son started a new nursery/school

squishysquirmy Thu 14-Dec-17 15:50:17

I'm surprised they didn't ask the parents- I went do dc's nursery nativity yesterday, and everyone (including me) was taking photos etc, but when we filled in the form to say whether our children would be taking part we ticked a box to say we were fine with photos. I presume that everyone said yes. The nursery workers also made an announcement at the beginning that we were allowed to take photos, but NOT to share them on social media. I suppose this relies on a certain amount of trust, but seemed a reasonable, measured way of getting round the issue to me.

RaeSkywalker Thu 14-Dec-17 15:51:11

This would make me very cross. There are several people-estranged, anusive family members- who would love to know where DS is. Having photos of him being seen by goodness knows who would make me very anxious.

FrLukeDuke Thu 14-Dec-17 15:51:25

We've always been allowed to film/take photos at ours except for the secondary play when i assume there were child protection reasons why we couldn't. We can at secondary concerts though and all primary performances.

MaggieMeldrum Thu 14-Dec-17 15:51:28

Also there are women who are placed in new areas due to domestic violence. If their ex found them via photos on social media there is a real risk to their lives

numbereightyone Thu 14-Dec-17 15:51:41

Nobody will be interested in looking at photos of your dc other than you.

Witchonastick Thu 14-Dec-17 15:54:13

I’m sorry but I find this very sad.
Unless you have a genuine reason, such as adoption etc, what on Earth is the problem here?!

I agree they shouldn’t be shared on social media, but for goodness sake. Our children will have no record of these events when they grow up if this hysteria continues.

What do you think is going to happen if your child is photographed performing in their nativity?!

RestingGrinchFace Thu 14-Dec-17 15:55:05

YANBU. That's just rude. If they want a recording they should have arranged something with the school beforehand.

TeenTimesTwo Thu 14-Dec-17 15:56:25

Broadly speaking I agree with you, sort of.

What blanket permissions have you given for your child when they started school? If you allowed them to be on internet and papers then I don't see that the school needed any further permission for your child.

However if any child at the performance had restricted permissions (such as mine had due to being adopted) then the school should have put restrictions in place. However, because I cared about these things, I always spoke to the school before performances to ensure they wouldn't forget to say something.

So YABU to expect permissions specifically for the nativity, but YANBU in your general concerns.

QueenOfMyDomain Thu 14-Dec-17 15:57:13

There is a blanket ban on photos or videos at my DC's school events and everyone abide by it. We have the opportunity to take pictures of our child at the end.

This is done for very good reason as there are multiple adopted and fostered children at the school.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 14-Dec-17 15:57:22

Is there a reason your child can't be seen, like one of the points above? I.e. Foster parent, DV etc
If there isn't, I'd just chill out to be honest, because what difference does it make? After all, anyone could video your child whenever they felt like it out in public.

Eltonjohnssyrup Thu 14-Dec-17 15:57:40

My kids school has a form they send out when the children start school asking if people can take photos/be in videos and if nobody objects then they don't stop people. My DS is in Y1 and if they're doing something just their year we can take pics without issue. If they do things jointly with FS2 then we can't do I assume a child in FS2 can't be pictured. Instead they have a photocall at the end for those who can.

I'm really glad there is no blanket ban enforced unless someone objects. I have disabled family members who can't get to these things and it's heartbreaking if they can't even see a snap.

Fattymcfaterson Thu 14-Dec-17 15:58:03

I videoed my kid in their nativity. Unless I'm expressly told otherwise why the fuck shouldn't I? Am I not allowed to record bug events in my child's life anymore? Are you like mj? Cover your kids faces in public? No?

Aragog Thu 14-Dec-17 15:58:17

Normally you will have signed a form when your child began at the school. One or more of the questions will be about photograph permissions and their use. We ask re photographs being used in a variety of contexts, and in terms of at school performances, sport's days, etc. It would be very unusual for a school to do ask for such permissions ime.

If any child in a class and/or year group does not have parental permission then we do not permit parents and carers to take photographs at all of the event. A reminder is said at the start of the event. Instead a member of staff will do so, and they then either avoid said children or will edit out children who do not have the permissions, before them being posted online or used in classroom displays or newsletters.

On the odd time there are no children in that particular class or group, we do sometimes permit parents to take photographs, though we ask them to be discreet and not block the view of others.

Thehairthebod Thu 14-Dec-17 16:00:49

This will probably be covered in the schools photography policy which should be on their website along with the million other policies.

WaitrosePigeon Thu 14-Dec-17 16:01:20

We’ve always been allowed to take videos and photos. Thank god. Nobody cares about your child apart from you.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn Thu 14-Dec-17 16:01:28

People can film and take photos of your child all day every day if they so wish. Your child will be in the back of thousands of photos by adulthood. At the beach, in the park at Legoland. Everywhere. And do you know what? It really doesn’t matter. Unless this is a huge drip feed and you have a real reason to care of course. Do you opt out of class photos too.

ilovesooty Thu 14-Dec-17 16:02:29

Of course YANBU. It is poor practice not to seek permission / veto from every parent and keep it on file. There is no good reason to film a performance like this and all sorts of reasons not to.

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