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AIBU?

To be angry at photos at Nativity?

758 replies

MrsAnamCara · 14/12/2017 15:45

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

OP posts:

Report

Mia1415 · 14/12/2017 16:02

We were allowed to video and photo the performance but not put anything on social media (other than our own child).

I'm sure there is something in their policies about not posting stuff.

I've no issue with parents taking photo's or videos.

I understand the social media ban, but my parents took photo's and videos of me in school plays 30 years ago and we still sometimes look/ watch them now. Its memories!

BrieAndChilli · 14/12/2017 16:03

We have to sign a form at the start of the school year consenting to photos /videos being taken.

There are some children who do not have consent so we are told at the start of each performance if we are allowed to take pics or not (only 1 of my 3 children’s classes have a no photo ban)
With the School play they do 2 performances. 1 you can’t take photos and the other one you can as it is also recorded to make a dvd and the kids without consent do not perform

Thehairthebod · 14/12/2017 16:03

If you are the parent/carer of a child who cannot be in any photos for safety reasons, then it is your responsibility to ensure that you inform the school of this.

Otherwise, most schools policy at these kind of events is, 'photos are fine, as long photos containing anyone but your child do not go on social media'. Which would be exactly the same as taking photos at a school play back in the 80s and 90s. It's not different is it?

SunnyCoco · 14/12/2017 16:04

I agree with you OP

I’ve recently quit a children’s acitivity due to the number of people constantly photographing and videoing the whole group every single week. I don’t know where those images are being posted or who will have access to them.

Mia1415 · 14/12/2017 16:04

Also, I'm sorry but I absolutely disagree that because you don't want your child photographed/ filmed for some frankly strange reason, every other parent and child should suffer!

Completely selfish attitude.

crunchymint · 14/12/2017 16:04

I suspect you gave blanket permission when your child started. Some places do this to cut down on admin.

papayasareyum · 14/12/2017 16:05

I do video the whole stage during nativity performances but only for our own viewing and the only photo I put on social media was one of my child with no other child visible. Perhaps the ones videoing the show we’re doing it for their own use and not to share on social media?

MumGoneMild · 14/12/2017 16:05

Yes we have to sign a thing too and then we can take pics and film.

LilQueenie · 14/12/2017 16:05

our school needs written permission but for the nativity are told its ok to film and take photos. they are however asked NOT to share on social media platforms.

WeeMadArthur · 14/12/2017 16:05

Our school said before the performance that videos and photos were fine but we were told not to put them on social media as not every parent had given permission for photos of their child to be used on the school website. Whether every parent taking pictures will stick to that is another thing, but at least they made it clear what was expected.

MrsAnamCara · 14/12/2017 16:05

Thanks for the support and helpful comments. My father abused me as a child and I've been NC for 18 months, I've hidden my 4 year old away from him for obvious reasons. He doesn't know what school he goes to.

OP posts:

Jaxhog · 14/12/2017 16:06

YANBU. No problem with photos for personal enjoyment, but in these days of widespread social media, it's anyone's guess as to where photos of your child might end up. Very poor of the school not to ask permission.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/12/2017 16:06

Ilovesooty - there's a very good reason to film your dcs nativity - memories.
I love looking back at old photos and remembering my old friends.

BrieAndChilli · 14/12/2017 16:07

Do you also make your kids walk around in public with a mask on? Because they could be photographed at any time anywhere by anyone. Don’t even need to be nearby someone could have a life range lens.

Jaxhog · 14/12/2017 16:08

And to those people who say that your child could be photographed anywhere, a photo at school means they can be identified and tagged on social media. That's the problem.

grannytomine · 14/12/2017 16:08

MrsAnamCara I think you should talk to the school, I am sure they would respect you wishes in the circumstances.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/12/2017 16:09

Where might they end up jaxhog?

ilovesooty · 14/12/2017 16:10

It's completely selfish behaviour to insist on filming your child and to judge other people and their reasons as strange.

Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 14/12/2017 16:10

We are allowed to film/take photos but explicitly told at the start and end of the performance they are for personal use and not to be shared on social media.

I think it’s a great thing tbh I love sharing it with their grandparents/aunts/uncles etc that wouldn’t be able to watch it. No-one posts these on Facebook unless it is just of their child.

It also came in very handy when the recording equipment broke (the school do DVDs of class assembly/nativity etc) and they got a copy of another parent so everyone didn’t miss out.

Soubriquet · 14/12/2017 16:12

We wasn't allowed to take photos of our children's nativity but at the end we was allowed to collect our child and take a photo of them, and only your child, on the stage in costume.

I understand why of course but it does make me a bit sad that in 20 years time, my Dd won't be able to watch it on DVD.

I have a video of my nativity at nursery when I was little and it makes me laugh watching it.

But that's the way the world is now

Zeelove · 14/12/2017 16:12

So yeah massive dripfeed you need to talk to your school about your individual circumstance

Witchonastick · 14/12/2017 16:13

It’s not the taking of the photos that’s the problem. It’s the sharing on social media!

IvorBiggun · 14/12/2017 16:13

Unless there is a reason not to do so then allowing parents to take photos is fine. Even photos containing other people’s children.

However I do wish schools would clearly explain the rules at the beginning of performances (and ideally have the policy on the website too). Photos and video of other people’s children should not be shared online or distributed without the express permission of each child’s parents. Ideally clear photo consent forms giving permission for the various permutations should be signed by parents/guardians at the beginning of the year.

If there is a safe guarding reason why a child should not be photographed then that must be enforced. The school should manage it in such a way that parents are still able to take photos of their own children.

Swissgemma · 14/12/2017 16:13

I do take pictures of my monkey (toddler) at classes etc... but I only post pictures of him on social media - I blur out other children. I have no idea if other parents do the same (I don't really care about images out in the wild).

JacquesHammer · 14/12/2017 16:13

Where might they end up jaxhog?

Someone puts a pic on FB. Their privacy settings are slack. A friend likes. THEIR settings are slack. Etc etc

Photography/videoing at DD's school is expressly forbidden. We ensure (I help out with drama) that everyone gets a picture of their child in costume on stage.

Anyone breaking this rule is ejected from the performance.

Keeping at risk children safe is far more important than iPhone coverage of a nativity

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