To be angry at photos at Nativity?

[MrsAnamCara]

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

MsHarry in a follow up post, it is clear the OP has real concerns, but unclear to what extent she has shared them with the school / not given permission.

Right I see that now. I do wish people wouldn't drip feed. Op I strongly suggest you inform the school as they will put measures in place.

If there are any children whose identity and location need protecting then the simple answer is for them not to participate in a production as their participation spoils it for all the other families who want to video or take photos and are happy to share. There are unlikely to be a part for every child anyway. When my son was at nativity play age there were no such restrictons.

Senior What you have just written is so many shades of wrong that words are failing me.

Adopted children have had their lives turned upside down in so many ways. Are you now saying they can't even have the normality of being in a school play? How selfish / short-sighted are you?

No no no. As stated. The simple answer is for the objector's children to be withdrawn. Think there was a thread here not long ago and the persistent videoing offenders DC was asked to leave the drama club.

Luckily my DS' school is brilliant with this and makes a DVD of the performance everyone can buy if they wish. They also put a 'photostory' of tge term on it, so enough 'memories' to shake a stick at. There's nothing worse than not being able to see anything other than a sea of poxy phones up in the air because everybody thinks taking photos/videos is more important than everyone else's enjoyment of the play.

What a selfish attitude Seniorcitizen1.

Senior citizen1- wow what a thing to say. How dare you. So any child with any protection concerns should just sit on the sidelines through no fault of their own?! Just because you want to video it?! You know, parents like ME (my child is adopted) wouldn’t mind anyone recording our children if it were the 80s or 90s, when people didn’t post their shit all over the internet. What a shitty attitude. As long as your kids are ok right? Who gives a shit about anybody else’s.

For a child to have a safe guarding risk something significantly awful must have happened in their life.

Anyone who would punish them further by excluding them from an aspect of school life? so they can happily snap photos without restriction, is an atrocious cunt.

Senior how is that fair for the child and their family? They are innocents.

Just when you think the level of ignorance and contempt for others on this thread has reached a new low, up pops Senior's post

Quite. Peak dickishness must have been reached by now.

One would hope...

"If there are any children whose identity and location need protecting then the simple answer is for them not to participate in a production as their participation spoils it for all the other families who want to video or take photos and are happy to share."

This is pretty much the defintion of 'selfishness'.

I'm more bothered by parents who insist on standing with huge iPads recording their child/donkey/star. It ruins it for parents like me who would prefer to just watch and enjoy.

I have never understood why the schools don't get a volunteer to DIL it properly and sell the DVDs for a fiver a pop!

Our school makes sure that any children who aren't allowed to be in photos are on the end of the row and they film the nativity to stop parents making their own recording. Makes for some oddly cropped shots but everyone gets to see their child performing without risking the others or causing upset by leaving a child out. They had to implement it because apparently some parents couldn't be trusted not to post photos on social media

Good grief!! When did people get so precious about photos - it’s a picture - they aren’t taking your child away for goodness sake!!! It’s actually nice to have these pictures and videos to look back on - who in 10 years time wants to see a zoomed in picture of just their child??? The child themself will want to see more than just their own picture when they look back.

Here’s the thing - if any of those parents had a genuine reason for not wanting their child photographed then they’d have told the school and steps could then be taken to make sure the children involved are kept safe.

Honestly, you’re being unreasonable and just a little bit precious/neurotic - you’re turning something very normal and inncent into something sinister! Children grow quickly and memories fade - don’t deny others or your own children the chance to reminisce later on.

I agree with He11y!

Does it matter if the photos are in n social media, unless the abusive parent is a friend of the person sharing the photo how will they see it ?

Yabvu, you cannot control what photos a parent takes of their child at their nativity play. It would be bad if a headteacher told parents that they could not take any photos, what they do have a right to ask, is that parents not to share them on social media. What happens at a child's party, sometimes its nice to capture the moments and have a photo of your child performing.

Our school also allows photos/videos. However only for personal use. Not allowed to share on Facebook etc. Which I think is fine

My parents have pictures of me taken back in the day, in my school performance, and they are in an album, and its nice to look back on them over the years, and the memories of my class mates. Sad that it's got to how it is now. Yes who wants just a zoomed in picture of your child, its nice to look back and see the others that were in their class at that time.

If there are any children whose identity and location need protecting then the simple answer is for them not to participate in a production as their participation spoils it for all the other families who want to video or take photos and are happy to share." So children who have been adopted/moved to escape abuse shouldn’t participate, to benefit you

We are allowed to take pictures of our own child and if there are other children in the picture, we are not allowed to share them on social media.

"If there are any children whose identity and location need protecting then the simple answer is for them not to participate in a production as their participation spoils it for all the other families who want to video or take photos and are happy to share."

You know that adopted children already often have a strong feeling that they don't belong. How selfish to make them feel even more like outsiders by stopping them taking part in a school production.

It's not essential to photograph these events to enjoy them.

Parents are welcome to take photos and videos of all our plays, concerts, sports events etc unless it says in the programme/is announced that they are not allowed to do so.

There are two reasons why photos/videos would be banned:

1. If I haven't paid for the film license (expensive for large musicals)
2. If there is a child in the cast/year group whose parents have not given permission for photos.

YANBU not to want other parents to photograph for your child but YABU to expect the school to enforce this if you haven't made your wishes clear by denying photo permission. Did you do that?