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Dad taking dd to ladies toilet

(536 Posts)
AdaHopper Sat 18-Nov-17 21:05:55

MN - help dh and I with a disagreement please.

When dd(4) needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies' loos. I told him that women don't like that and he should take her to the men's loo. Aibu or is he?

RunningOutOfCharge Sat 18-Nov-17 21:07:52

he is

I've never seen a man do this before.....ever

clary Sat 18-Nov-17 21:08:54

He is out of order. I do recall DH saying DD needed to get used to going into the ladies by herself if he was out without me, as men's los can be grim... she was older than four tho.

At four she is going to have to go in the men's. Best thing is to find a nicer one? Or at my local shopping centre they have a family loo which seems a good idea.

pickleypockley Sat 18-Nov-17 21:09:12

Difficult one really as yes I wouldn't want a man coming g into the ladies, but the men's have open urinals so he might not want dd seeing that? At risk of a Munster bashing I would say use the disabled confused

dementedpixie Sat 18-Nov-17 21:09:13

He should go to the men's with her

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:10:01

He is wrong.

pickleypockley Sat 18-Nov-17 21:10:34

Mumsnet, bloody phone, you are not all munsters smile

Sofabitch Sat 18-Nov-17 21:10:51

We just need to ditch the group toilets really. Its a totally weird concept.

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt Sat 18-Nov-17 21:11:07

I understand the conflict, but I would rather a father in the ladies - individual cubicles - than a four year old girl being taken into the gents with no idea what she might see. (And I've wandered into the gents accidentally a couple of times, they're not nice places! Smelly, grubby.....)

Readermumof3 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:12:23

What is it with all these toilet issues lately? hmm There’s no way in hell my DH would ever set foot in a ladies loo. When DD was small he’d take her to a baby change loo or the gents in a dept store cafe if nearby.

Helspopje Sat 18-Nov-17 21:12:28

Definitely prefer a young girl.in the ladies than going into the men's with open urinals

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:12:47

sofabitch

Its not a weird concept at all

I much prefer the individual non sexed cubicles with their own sink that many of the newer shopping centres etc have

CarcerDun Sat 18-Nov-17 21:14:07

I still have memories of being taken into men’s loos as a child shudders. They are horrible. But mostly the memories are sound and smell as DF has his hands over my eyes for the majority of the time.

Notevilstepmother Sat 18-Nov-17 21:14:54

It wouldn’t bother me and it’s probably much nicer for her than seeing/smelling men weeing at the urinals.

I do think we should have family toilets or something for these situations.

However it’s not like women take their clothes off at the basins or anything.

Maplestaple Sat 18-Nov-17 21:15:09

I can see this from both sides, it wouldn't bother me but I know how it could upset others.

I wouldn't want my DS going in the men's either.

Maplestaple Sat 18-Nov-17 21:15:30

DD not DS

Pixie2015 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:15:58

I would prefer to see a man take his daughter into ladies if no family/disabled toilet available don’t think any young child needs urinal or stinky cubicle exposure

Intercom Sat 18-Nov-17 21:16:23

I’ve never seen anyone do that. It’s usual for the adult to go in the correct toilets, and if the child is under about 8 they go in the same one as the parent.

Notevilstepmother Sat 18-Nov-17 21:16:33

Most toilets have signs warning that there might be male cleaners anyway.

converseandjeans Sat 18-Nov-17 21:17:14

Agree with devil I would have no issue with seeing a man in the ladies loo with a small child needing a wee. I really wouldn't want my DD at the age of 4 heading into the mens loos. They stink and blokes have their k***s out!! I would say perhaps compromise would be to send her in alone and stand by the door and wait for her?

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 18-Nov-17 21:17:16

He should take her to the men's. It's what dads and grandad have had to Do since well... years and years.

When she's a bit older she can go to the ladies on her own.

RunningOutOfCharge Sat 18-Nov-17 21:17:30

what will a 4 year old 'see' in the mens toilet that has you all recoiling in horror?

Coconutsgreen Sat 18-Nov-17 21:17:41

I understand the conflict, but I would rather a father in the ladies - individual cubicles - than a four year old girl being taken into the gents with no idea what she might see. (And I've wandered into the gents accidentally a couple of times, they're not nice places! Smelly, grubby.....)

Totally agree with this.

I wouldn't be offended at all.if a man took his little girl in to use the ladies.

Believeitornot Sat 18-Nov-17 21:18:03

Men’s toilets are grim. I wouldn’t want my dd going in. I’d rather dh found a disabled loo.

Pennywhistle Sat 18-Nov-17 21:19:19

DH always took DD into the gents without incident.

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