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Dad taking dd to ladies toilet

550 replies

AdaHopper · 18/11/2017 21:05

MN - help dh and I with a disagreement please.

When dd(4) needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies' loos. I told him that women don't like that and he should take her to the men's loo. Aibu or is he?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 18/11/2017 21:21

Well then they aren't ladies toilets if being used by men taking their dds.

Stop frequenting dodgy places
Know your toilets
Cover eyes if necessary Hmm
But a coffee and use costa or something

Dp has taken young Dds onto the mens no problem.

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 18/11/2017 21:21

I posted a thread not too long ago re a man changing his grandsons nappy in the ladies. There were changing facilities available in the men’s, they just chose to use the ladies instead. I questioned him and got shouted down. I was told in no uncertain terms on MN that I was totally unreasonable.

IMO men should not be in the ladies. At all.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 18/11/2017 21:22


I remember that thread

It got quite....heated

Toffeelatteplease · 18/11/2017 21:23

Mumsnet has some really weird opinions on stuff like this. Men arent safe so you can't have a man in the woman's toilet so let's send the DD4 into the male toilet where all the unsafe people with penises are.Hmm

Your DH is quite normal. FWIW I would consider either way round fine.

PurpleCrowbar · 18/11/2017 21:23

I really don't think there's going to be much on show from men using the urinals, tbh. They aren't all waving massive hosepipes about ostentatiously, just penis out of trousers to pee, backs to room, nothing to see here.

Of course it should be fine to take a 4yo girl in to use a cubicle. Really not helpful to characterise men's toilets as some appalling no go area. They might be a bit smelly I suppose.

Spam88 · 18/11/2017 21:23

I’ve seen men doing this, doesn’t bother me at all, I can understand then not wanting to take their daughters in the men’s where there’s people using the urinal.

RunningOutOfCharge · 18/11/2017 21:23

are people suggesting able bodied people use the disabled toilets here?

Toffeelatteplease · 18/11/2017 21:24

It's only using the disabled when you're not disabled that's wrong imo

FlashTheSloth · 18/11/2017 21:25

HIBU. I've never ever seen a man in a ladies toilet and it's not appropriate for them to be in there. They take their DDs in their toilets until they are old enough to go alone (or use the disabled). You don't see women taking boys into the mens because that's their correct toilet.

SkintAsASkintThing · 18/11/2017 21:25

Wouldn't bother me.......there isn't anything to see in ladies loos.

And women have been diving into mens loos on nights out etc, don't get why it's seen as an issue on MN. Hmm

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 18/11/2017 21:25

Yes Rufus, I was told I was raising my DS to be a rapist Hmm Confused

🤷🏻‍♀️ cannot understand some people’s logic!

rcit · 18/11/2017 21:26

I can understand why a man would not want his 4yo to sit on a bog in the men's. Men use them for shitting and generally men's toilets are stinking and foul. That said, a grown man has no business in the ladies - very bad behaviour. TBH in his position I'd take a potty for the 4yo

BelafonteRavenclaw · 18/11/2017 21:26

Men go to the men’s. Women go to the women’s. Thems the rules.

ScipioAfricanus · 18/11/2017 21:28

I was taken to the men’s toilets when I was too little to go on my own by my dad and it hasn’t scarred me for life. The ladies toilet is for women and I’d be unimpressed to see a man in it.

TuftedLadyGrotto · 18/11/2017 21:29

I saw a man do this recently and I didn't like it. Not only that, but his daughter had cubicle door open (fine) and generally he went for a wee standing up with door still open.

Dh has always taken dd to the gents.

HotelEuphoria · 18/11/2017 21:30

Not this one again, isn't this the third such toilet thread in three days?

TuftedLadyGrotto · 18/11/2017 21:30

Men use them for shitting

Pretty sure women do too.

Notsooriginalwerther · 18/11/2017 21:30

RunningOutOfCharge I think it’s in regards to open urinals and maybe that men’s toilets are sometimes a bit grubbier than women’s? not in all cases though as most toilets have regular cleaners etc. But I agree that either use the disabled/baby change units or ladies. IMO I would rather my dp took my dd into the ladies toilet with separate cubicles than into the men’s loos.

Ellapaella · 18/11/2017 21:31

I wouldn’t care if a man came in to the ladies with his daughter. We have single cubicles and it’s not like you can see anyone on the toilet, unlike the men’s where the little girl will see men using the urinals.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/11/2017 21:32

what will a 4 year old 'see' in the mens toilet that has you all recoiling in horror?

Well today the cleaner in my local gents loos found a junkie jacking up in the morning and a couple fucking in the afternoon.

The same stuff doesn’t tend to happen in the ladies due to more frequent use

ScipioAfricanus · 18/11/2017 21:32

Well I think the little girls will just have to cope with the toilets potentially being a bit dirtier. As regards urinals I think unless the dads take their daughters to the toilet in slow motion they will be fine.

MissDuke · 18/11/2017 21:33

My dh would never do this and I have not once saw any man do it. I personally think it is bizarre that he thinks he has any right to enter womens toilets. My dh would go into baby changing if it has a loo or go to a toilet that has just one cubicle rather than a row of urinals, like in a cafe or whatever.

I realise that lots of readers will think I am crazy, but it is just my opinion!

C0untDucku1a · 18/11/2017 21:35

The ‘recoiling in horror’ for me would be the Smell. Mens toilets are beyond disgusting.

TuftedLadyGrotto · 18/11/2017 21:37

I once discovered a poo on the floor in a cubicle of the ladies toilet at work. I was a teacher. Not just men that have grim toilet habits.

Toffeelatteplease · 18/11/2017 21:37

Don't use the fucking disabled loos just because your prissy over which gender parent is with a child. I really boils my piss

There are genuine reasons why adults and children with sn need to use a disabled loo. If you've ever had to change your child on the floor of one you'd understand why the least people using it the better. Or why when DS gets very little notice of needing the loo (or is at risk of soiling with any delay) why he shouldn't have to wait for dad and two female kids.

Yet it will be those that don't approve of the wrong gender being in the wrong bathroom that is upset when DS now 10 comes carreering usually into the ladies (usually cos I need to garentee a cubicle) at speed with very little regard for anyone in his path because the disabled look is not free.

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