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To make an official complaint about colleague?

(793 Posts)
Abouttoblow Sun 03-Sep-17 15:12:14

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

Pollydonia Sun 03-Sep-17 15:17:52

Yanbu. She sounds like a pain in the arse. I bet her DM and dsil LOVE her calling them every half hour hmm

BlueNeighbourhood1 Sun 03-Sep-17 15:20:25

Surely it can't only be you that has picked up on this?

Are you her direct manager or have they mentioned it to her?

Does her not doing her two days a week impact you? Or do you just feel it's not fair what she is doing?

pinkdonkey Sun 03-Sep-17 15:21:11

Are you her line manager? Or just a collegue.?

If you are her line manager then you need to be challenging her on her behaviour with personel support if necessary.

If not think about how her behaviour is affecting you. Is it increasing your work load? Is it that you feel you are being treated unfairly? Try to pin down what it is and take this to your line manager. This will probably be more effective than just complaining about her behaviour in general.

happypoobum Sun 03-Sep-17 15:21:22

Well the phone calls will stop now that the children are at school.

Although she sounds like a pisstaker, does it affect you directly that she is not there? If she is so annoying I would have thought you would be happy when she leaves?

ferntwist Sun 03-Sep-17 15:22:40

Crazy situation. Can't believe they let her do this. YANBU

lalalalyra Sun 03-Sep-17 15:23:42

Does her being off stop you having time off? If so I'd be asking hr to confirm the policy for allocating leave so that it's clear you won't be accepting her getting priority.

Maelstrop Sun 03-Sep-17 15:25:19

Who else is around in the office? How the heck can she just stroll out of meetings?

Abouttoblow Sun 03-Sep-17 15:36:11

I'm not her manager, if I was I would have stopped this straight away..
I'm in a different role so the situation does not impact directly on my workload or ability to take holidays etc. It's just the unfairness of it.
Quite a few staff talk about it and moan, not just me.
Boss has spoken to her but she's really good at deflecting and agreeing with the policy about making the time up but just doesn't do it.
I just feel the only way to address it now is by making an official complaint but then I know there will be a backlash and tears about being a working mum. But there are mum's in the office who don't take the piss! They must be even more hacked off than me

AlpacaLipsNow Sun 03-Sep-17 15:38:41

She's one of those people who thinks she's the only parent in the world. Gives the rest of us a bad name. YANBU OP.

happypoobum Sun 03-Sep-17 15:40:42

If it has no impact on you I would just let it go to be honest - not worth getting yourself all stressed out over it when you say that you really love working there and enjoy your job.

There's plenty of things in life that aren't fair and we all have to pick our battles. It sounds like her manager is pretty useless and they may react badly to you flagging this up?

paq Sun 03-Sep-17 15:42:57

Surely you are in no position to make an official complaint if it doesn't impact on you?

PuppyMonkey Sun 03-Sep-17 15:46:13

I can't understand why it's making you feel you can't go to work tomorrow - if it's not directly impacting on your workload? confused

Annoying yes and maybe it can be brought up with your managers as an issue to address.

Witchend Sun 03-Sep-17 15:46:35

I can't wait to find out if she phones school every half an hour grin The office staff will love her if that's the case. grin

You must suggest to her that they will love to go and check on them regularly and details exactly what they're up to.

Abouttoblow Sun 03-Sep-17 15:47:22

I have let it go for the last 4 years but I know that it's going to be worse now with all the school events.
As for the official complaint, why am I not in a position to make one? If I have to work 40 hours a week why doesn't she have to work her 16?
Or I could ask that I get permission to leave for an hour or so whenever I want same as she does?

PuppyMonkey Sun 03-Sep-17 15:49:16

And I'm pretty sure your bosses won't just let her take all the half term holidays off if she's got no annual leave left etc.

ElizabethShaw Sun 03-Sep-17 15:51:09

How does it impact on you?

If it has no effect on you then essentially you just want to whinge to someone "its not faaaaiiiirrr", you don't have grounds for a complaint.

Mummyoflittledragon Sun 03-Sep-17 15:52:33

Does she walk out of meetings with you? Or affect your ability to do your job?

Abouttoblow Sun 03-Sep-17 15:53:04

Witchend I would not be surprised if she did call school for updates grin

I'm just totally hacked off with the whole situation. Yes, it may not affect me directly but should I just let it go? Believe me, she wouldn't if the roles were reversed.

Thanks for the replies smile

TealStar Sun 03-Sep-17 15:56:10

Unbelievable. Unless it's completely unavoidable I never miss a days' work. I am prt time so use my days off for appointments etc. If the childrens' assemblies fell on an working day (they almost always did too hmm) I simply couldn't make them.

I feel very privileged to be able to work pt and am aware that other colleagues are not so lucky.

rizlett Sun 03-Sep-17 16:05:21

Is part of this due to the fact though that she just has a totally different value system to you?

I get it - I am hardworking like you - and I too got really annoyed at those people who took the piss and got away with it but secretly underneath I was a jealous. I only valued myself by how hard I worked - and that wasn't right either.

Perhaps this situation has arisen so you can learn to not work so hard too.

Mittens1969 Sun 03-Sep-17 16:06:31

Yes she is taking the micky, obviously, probably wound her DM and SIL up as well with her constant calls. At least she won't be able to make the constant calls now the DCs are in school lol.

I don't think you personally have grounds for making a complaint though, it's not as if it's something her manager doesn't already know, is it?

CauliflowerSqueeze Sun 03-Sep-17 16:08:03

You should raise it. It's pathetic she gets to swan off all the time like that.

Abouttoblow Sun 03-Sep-17 16:08:10

AIBU then as it doesn't affect me directly?

I won't make a complaint. I'll just speak to my boss tomorrow and tell him that I won't be making up time out for personal appointments. We'll see how that goes.

happypoobum Sun 03-Sep-17 16:12:15

We'll see how that goes.

I doubt it will go well.........seeing as you like your job so much I am surprised you want to do this.

Your manager will possibly tell you it's none of your business what arrangements he makes for other staff, and you have no idea if that time off is unpaid or not.

I think you are setting yourself up for a fall but it's your decision.

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