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Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

(808 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Tue 13-Jun-17 19:37:08

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset sad

honeysucklejasmine Tue 13-Jun-17 19:40:10

It's not your fault op. You did what she wanted you to do. You warned her of the consequence of the repeat offence and you followed through.

Maybe they'll let the nanny park on their previous drive tomorrow.

Dawnedlightly Tue 13-Jun-17 19:40:22

What a nightmare. I think you're right and she's manipulating her employers to not get into trouble.
Maybe keep your head now. It's not fair and you shouldn't have to but it's all a bit close to home to have such drama.

Noisybastardsshutup Tue 13-Jun-17 19:41:18

You've done nothing wrong, don't feel bad.

Maiz7654 Tue 13-Jun-17 19:42:04

It's not your fault NDN is just now crapping herself cos she might need to find new childcare. She wouldn't sort out the issue, you did, now she is desperately back tracking and trying to make it your fault so she feels better. The Nanny is just trying to cover her arse, she knows she did wrong and wanted to get in there first with a sob story.

ItWentInMyEye Tue 13-Jun-17 19:42:25

The nanny sounds quite manipulative if you've ended up the bad guy!

londonmummy1966 Tue 13-Jun-17 19:42:50

Oh OP how horrid for you. get DH to go round and talk to Mr NDN and show the picture of her parking. Bullies tend to go for women I'm afraid...

frogsgoladidahdidah Tue 13-Jun-17 19:43:43

Let your husband go round...

Why didn't Me NDN say anything?

Allabitmuchisntit Tue 13-Jun-17 19:43:58

Jesus hmm

What you've got there, is a child looking after children.

MrsHathaway Tue 13-Jun-17 19:44:38

Were you able to show the photo(s) and timeline from earlier?

I think you revert to getting her to move her car every single time you want to go out - plus once or twice a day just for spite. If she doesn't answer the phone, 101 to report you've been blocked in.

Wonder what MrNDN actually thinks. "Fuck sake" most likely!

NameChange30 Tue 13-Jun-17 19:45:09

Ah it's a shame your DH didn't go over there with you, he might have been able to back you up.

Nanny is clearly a manipulative bitch who made out that you bullied her, which you clearly didn't.

It's their problem, OP. They employed a rude, manipulative drama queen as a nanny. These are the consequences.

3littlebadgers Tue 13-Jun-17 19:45:53

Right. Let's sort this out.
1. You are in no way to blame so stop feeling so crappy.
2. You at no point forced anyone to park over your drive. They chose to do so, knowing the likely action. That was their decision.
3. How people react to a given situation is not in your control. Their poor handling of the situation is their own problem.
4. Nanny is manipulative
5. Parents shitting it just incase they are left having to find replacement childcare at short notice so taking their frustration out on you.
6. We all blooming worship you for your handling of the situation and also your drawings.

Allabitmuchisntit Tue 13-Jun-17 19:46:24

They are all trying to guilt trip you into thinking you've been to harsh and backing off.

Don't fall for it.

NameChange30 Tue 13-Jun-17 19:46:39

Especially the drawings grin

Fairenuff Tue 13-Jun-17 19:46:46

They are just panicking about having no childcare. I bet they start looking around for a new nanny anyway.

TheDowagerCuntess Tue 13-Jun-17 19:46:51

It sounds exactly like she's turned on the waterworks to save her own skin.

I'd probably leave it for now. I'd say your drive is safe, and this is now their problem, not yours.

PunjanaTea Tue 13-Jun-17 19:47:01

Well she's obviously now shitting herself about their childcare falling through.

None of this would have happened if she'd just told her nanny not to park across your drive when you asked her to, so it's really of her own making.

Albadross Tue 13-Jun-17 19:47:24

She's clearly manipulated the situation - unless she really is that clueless. It's never acceptable to park across someone's driveway basically, and they're probably just cross with themselves because they didn't deal with it as they should've from the start and as a result she's threatening to leave. Maybe they've also seen that perhaps someone who behaves the way she has and then throws a paddy when challenged - threatening to leave them in the lurch - is less than ideal as a choice for childcare too...

AtHomeDadGlos Tue 13-Jun-17 19:47:55

The nanny is a right bitch. You've done nothing wrong.

I'd leave it now. You don't want to inflame the situation any further (even though you're not in the wrong).

If the nanny blocks your drive again then I'd do what you did before and block theirs'. But leave your car there and document the fact that you were unable to access your drive.

I wouldn't approach the nanny again, nor would I answer the door to her. She's clearly manipulating the situation so don't give her the ammunition.

Redsippycup Tue 13-Jun-17 19:47:56

Let DH go round.

She's a manipulative shit that shouldn't be in charge of children!

ToadsforJustice Tue 13-Jun-17 19:47:58

The Nanny did not make an "innocent" mistake parking over your drive. That's a red herring. I suspect that the Nanny is on the offensive to save her job. She has the NDN over a barrel regarding childcare. Instead of getting a bollocking, the Nanny will have the NDN begging her to stay.

CarraigAlasdair Tue 13-Jun-17 19:48:25

Nanny is being totally manipulative and banking on the fact that the parents work difficult hours and have probably struggled to find childcare that works (I do 12 hour shifts myself). But if they're that bothered about keeping her then they shouldn't mind doing some manouvering with the cars in the morning and having her park on their own bloody drive!

Albadross Tue 13-Jun-17 19:48:40

Show them this thread so they can see how it went down?

On second thoughts, maybe not shock

DailyMailReadersAreThick Tue 13-Jun-17 19:49:03

Mrs NDN is an absolute moron. Can't believe she has a position of trust and authority as a police officer.

ItsNachoCheese Tue 13-Jun-17 19:49:34

Checking in and will rtft in a min

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