Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

[Writerwannabe83]

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset

Op - cant believe it one minute ndn saying deal with nanny next saying deal with her?!

I hope nanny stops parking in front of your driveway now

X

Sheesh. What a fucking nightmare.

Be careful what you wish for.

FFS no way was this your problem behaviour - they've basically set themselves up to use your space, dropped kerb and everything, your car in or out of the drive and she still parks there. NDN should have sorted the situation and now it's gone into orbit BECAUSE OF THEM!!!
Let your husband go round, tell them they started this, and he's finishing it by saying whether we're in or out she is NOT to park over your driveway - if it happens you'll call the police.
Write it all down in a letter format, telling them how long it's been going on, and that you won't stand for it anymore - you're making your pregnant wife upset and this is unacceptable and inexcusable - your pathway is suffering as you have to manoeuvre around this illegal parking situation - this stops NOW!!
Or similar

You're not wrong - they wronged you, This wouldn't be happening without their lack of order

Cinderella - wtf!

I can't believe what this has spiralled into. Don't for a second think you are in the wrong. They are disrespecting you at every turn and it has to stop. You have every right to approach the nanny. She's an adult and the car is hers. It's irrelevant whether she thought you were at work or not. It's your property and you have the right to access it at any time.

My advice would be to leave them alone where you can but stand firm where you have to. Have your husband park his car there. If she parks there go out and say you are leaving and need it moving. Then park it where she was parked.

I'm sorry you're upset, it's so unfair. However I didn't think you should apologize, her ndn's behaviour has been terrible.

I would be so cross by now, just like your DH.

I bet they are just worried about having to find another nanny, you should have pointed out, if they can't trust the Nanny not to park over your drive, how can they trust her to not feed the child food they don't want, or to leave it screaming while she watches TV.

Is there a link to the first thread?

I second the written response here. They know the game they are playing and portraying you as harassing their nanny is very convenient, for them.

As for the nanny- vulnerable my arse end! You mess with the bull you risk the horns Bitch!!

Nanny has parked like a selfish twat and behaved like an idiot (or an evil genius of manipulation), but I don't see how that makes her unfit to care for children.

"MN hero"?? FFS. You're all baying for part time baby sitter's blood. Get her sacked why dontcha.

Private property is the devil.

Makes me feel queasy. Put yer pitchforks away.

PoorYorick Would you trust a liar and manipulator without common decency to look after your kids well?

Please don't feel bad. I know that it will be hard not to.

There was no 'innocent mistake'. Whether you were at work or otherwise is no-one else's business, it shouldn't matter to anyone as no-one should block your drive.

I am really pleased that you managed to get your apology in and confirm the long-standing view that you are reasonable.

Nanny knew she was in the wrong especially after being spoken to first thing but she is clever. Ndn wife knows too and is worried about the threat from nanny of losing childcare. Ndn husband couldn't say anything which shows that he probably agreed with you but didn't want to undermine his wife again and have a cross wife. Although I have to say that I wouldn't want someone that manipulative looking after my children!

Chin up chickadee

I do not understand why the nanny couldn't park in front of NDN's drive today? She knew they were at work. She knew you were upset. She thought you were at work, so why, when faced with the choice of two drives to park on front of, did she choose yours? (A case of f**k you, I will do what I want when you are not here?)

I'd be tempted to give them the bill for your path to be fixed if you've to go to them about anything the nanny has done/caused by parking over your drive.
Phone 101 or the council every time she parks over it and take photos.

What is it with people parking over drives when there is clear places to park on the street ? Happens all the time in our street. Plenty parking bays and unrestricted street parking but school parents insist on parking over drives instead.

Have a hug OP

You already knew the nanny was a liar so this isn't surprising. I really think you should back off now. A few of these parking threads have ended really badly for the OP (remember Pink Cock and Army Dad?)

If the nanny parks over your drive again then call 101 or the council or whoever.

Your neighbours should be utterly ashamed of themselves for upsetting a PG woman like this.

Also, if your DH sees the husband alone, then he should have a word about how much they have upset you and how the nanny is being really unreasonable to continue parking over your drive. Don't engage with the wife anymore, she's a nasty bitch.

Anyway, as was previously discussed. If your employee parks over our driveway again, we will park over yours. I hope that is clear and that this matter can now be resolved once and for all.

Don't put in writing that you'll do that!!

If your employee parks over our drive again we will require her to move her car every time. If we cannot easily raise her to do so then we will be obliged to contact the local police on 101 to report that we have been blocked on our drive. We suggest you discuss alternative parking with your employee to ensure nobody is inconvenienced further.

I read the whole of the other thread, and this isn't your fault OP!

If the NDN had been decent human beings, it wouldn't have got this far.

Thanks everyone

I just feel annoyed, confused, pissed off and naturally I'm now questioning everything I said and did.

I've had a proper cry to DH now and thankfully he seems to have calmed down. He does still want to go round though as in his eyes inviting a pregnant woman into your house and shouting at her is pretty aggressive behaviour too, especially when it was two against one. I told him that Mr NDN didn't shout at be but he said that's not the point. I've relayed to DH some of the points you've all made about how Mrs NDN is probabky just worried about childcare and she's simply just angry at me in the same way I was angry at her yesterday and that I think everything has just reached boiling point. DH said I need to stop making excuses for them just because Mrs NDN has made me feel guilty.

I still don't see what I did that's so wrong though. If the Nanny is grown up enough to look after other peoples children then she's grown up enough to have faced a frank conversation with me about her unacceptable behaviour. All this "young girl" stuff that Mrs NDN was coming out with was just ridiculous.

Frog you're totally right - fucking police officers like that should be ashamed of themselves - do what I say not what i do attitude, manipulate the situation, zero fairness just get my own way otherwise act like a c**t hate that word but they absolutely are!!

I know you're pregnant so a small one for you and I'll have one for you too!

Nanny is being manipulative by telling her employers she doesn't know if she can stay working for them. Sure fire way to be let go by threatening to leave!

I'd be considering a cheeky referral to Crimestoppers - "Disappointing to see that the serving police officers who live at XX Whatever Street, Anytown have no regard for the Highway Code (or a spirit of neighbourliness) by refusing to prevent their employee from parking over on their neighbours driveways preventing them from easy and safe entry and exit from their property".

Might be worth looking up their names on police website - be a hoot if they were neighbourhood or community officers! You could Tweet them on their #NeighbourhoodPolicingForAll account!

Nanny isn't some poor innocent that needs an umbrella of protection. She's an adult. And more importantly, an adult that both NDN are happy to leave their kids with. So they can fuck off to the other side of fuck if they're playing the 'how dare you intimidate a young person' vibe.
They know they / Nanny are in the wrong and are being aggressively defensive. Probs shitting themselves as Nanny has cried crocodile tears, threatened to walk, been up shit creek etc. AND known that what's happened is in your favour, not hers / theirs.
Finally - FOR SHAME intimidating a pregnant woman. May their teeth be plagued by toothache and may they only have healthy children who need no sleep

OP, don't feel bad!! This Nanny knows exactly what she is doing. First it was the sob story to you, now it's the 'poor me, I'm a victim' to your neighbours. Let your DH go around there. You have done nothing wrong and the Nanny is trying to cover her own arse because they told her not to park there again and she thought she could take the piss by doing so and was probably shitting herself. She thought you were a pushover and now she has learnt that you aren't, the tears have come.

Nanny is either a responsible adult capable of caring for young children in a professional capacity or she is a vulnerable young girl. She can't be both.

Seriously, OP don't escalate it for now. You all need to take a deep breath. I think you said the nanny wasn't working tomorrow so just wait and see if she does it again. Don't speak to the nanny again, just call the police and have them deal with it. Writing notes or going around today when passions are high is not going to help.