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Original poster

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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aaaaargghhhhelpme · 03/07/2017 07:41

Good god you shouldn't have pandered to her. Then ndn will literally be round the next day to dump a child on your doorstep

She doesn't sound like she has the temperament to be in police situations though and that does worry me

Enjoy your drive op!

thatdearoctopus · 03/07/2017 08:23

If she has difficult requirements for a nanny, then she shouldn't have been such an arse to the one she managed to get in the first place.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 08:27

Exactly.

She needs to crack on and find a new one though seeing as Summer Holidays are coming up and they have a school child that needs looking after. Like I said earlier though, maybe they'll use a CM/Nursery/School Clubs this time round though to avoid this situation arising again.

I'm certainly not going to enquire about her plans though as I think that really will be the end of NDN relations Grin

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 03/07/2017 08:39

Mrs and Mr NDN really need some time in solitary confinement to reflect on their stupidity. They could've easily avoided all of this by not being so precious over a driveway of all things. Though by the sounds of it, if it wasn't that, then their general attitude probably would've driven nanny away sooner or later anyway.

Their current childcare predicament is entirely of their own doing and serves them 100% right.

I hope ex-nanny grows a brain cell and starts to look for proper solutions to her problems in the future, and doesn't just take the lazy way out like she did this time in parking across someone's driveway.

anchor9 · 03/07/2017 09:03

bizarre! it concerns me that this woman is a police officer!

Spadequeen · 03/07/2017 09:52

No the neighbour inflamed the situation not the op. Good god, would you like her to roll over and offer to look after the kids?

The whole situation was caused by mrs ndn and the nanny, not the op.

Why should the op be inconvienced? Why should t she stick up for herself when being shouted at. The whole thing is ridiculous but mrs ndn and the nanny caused it, not the op.

And as others have said, we see on here and in rl time and time again where people continue to get away with things because they are never challenged, no one ever tells them no, well good for you op, why should mrs ndn be allowed to contune having a go at you. She caused the problem and now she has to deal with the consequences.

Spadequeen · 03/07/2017 09:54

And mr ndn was just as bad, whilst he wasn't shouting or having a go at anyone, he could also have nipped all this in the bud but instead seemed to be more focused on being the good guy.

littlelolo · 03/07/2017 10:00

I'm in utter disbelief that she has the audacity to speak to you like this, especially being pregnant. It's all very playground bullying- on her part. She doesn't sound well at all.

thatdearoctopus · 03/07/2017 10:03

This whole situation would never have arisen in the first place if a) the NDN had allowed the nanny to park on their drive or b), they'd said "gosh, so sorry, of course she mustn't park there. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
You know, like normal people would behave.
But agree with whoever said it would have blown up about something else instead and the nanny would have left anyway. NDN doesn't sound exactly stable.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 10:23

NDN doesn't sound exactly stable.

That's why all this is so odd, she's been perfectly lovely the whole time I've known her, I have no idea why she's suddenly turned on me and being so irrational. I think that's why the whole thing is so bizarre because it's so out of character. Maybe it is Baby Blues like another poster mentioned or problems with Mr NDN, who knows? Maybe that's why Mr NDN is keeping his head down because if Mrs NDN is struggling he's probably worried about pushing her over the edge. She's just coming across as very volatile.

When the Nanny had told me that if it wasn't the parking it would have been something else that lead to her resigning I was a little surprised because I couldn't imagine Mrs NDN being so difficult to work with. I don't know. I guess none of us know what goes on behind close doors.

OP posts:
peekyboo · 03/07/2017 11:08

Also, you don't know how Mrs NDN might treat people who work for her compared to people she sees as her equals. If she is such a bully then someone working for her would have a hell of a time keeping on the right side of her.
And all bullies can be sweetness itself when it suits them, until they think you need putting in your place.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 05/07/2017 12:33

I've seen three smartly dressed women come and go this morning. I have a feeling that New Nanny interviews may be taking place!!

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 05/07/2017 13:28

As long as none of them parked on your drive!!

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 05/07/2017 13:31
Grin

Nope, they all parked across NDN's drive like decent human beings Grin

OP posts:
Spadequeen · 05/07/2017 14:16

😄

iheartpink · 05/07/2017 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Usernamegone · 05/07/2017 18:43

This the the thread that keeps on giving. If new nanny block your drive remember to knock the first time they do it.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 05/07/2017 18:54

I'm hoping the NDN's have made it clear during the interviews that there is parking just around the corner for them to use.

I actually saw Mr NDN whilst I was outside my house earlier today and he was getting into his car. He pretty much blanked me which was surprising but Mrs NDN was in the house so maybe he was too scared of being seen to be pleasant towards me, who knows.

I honestly can't believe that 5 years of being friendly neighbours have been reduced to this over a car parking spot. It's ludicrous.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 05/07/2017 19:03

I've often suspected that some people are attracted to a career in the police because it gives them an opportunity to bully people and be utterly unreasonable (not many, but a few police officers I've met seem to relish being able to boss people around).

Having read about Mrs NDN, I'm convinced this is why she joined the Bill.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 05/07/2017 19:09

Well hopefully she'll employ a Nanny this time round who won't put up with her crap. The women who were interviewed today (well the three I saw, there may have been more) looked quite a bit older than Ex-Nanny so hopefully they'll have more confidence to be able to stand up to Mrs NDN if she starts turning into the Employer from Hell.

OP posts:
iheartpink · 10/07/2017 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cookiesandcake · 11/07/2017 15:24

Placemarking

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 11/07/2017 16:15

Well I had a bit of an awkward encounter with Mr NDN over the weekend and we spoke a little. We'd crossed paths on the driveway as I was leaving mine and he was coming home from somewhere so I politely asked him how things were with a smile on my face and he just looked a bit uncomfortable which surprised me as we'd always been fine.

I also asked how Mrs NDN was as I knew she'd been stressed by the lack of childcare and he said that she seemed ok but not had she been her 'normal self' lately.

I asked if they'd managed to get another Nanny and he said that yes they had and she'd be starting in a weeks time but would be coming round on and off over the next few days to get to socialise with the children a little bit in the presence of him and Mrs NDN.

Normally he and I can be quite chatty but the whole encounter felt tense and strange. It's really hard to describe how his demeanour was, he seemed quiet and a bit reserved.

Part of me wanted to apologise for the whole situation and say I hoped we could all move on from it but for some reason it felt like saying it just wasn't appropriate and to be honest it was all so awkward that I just wanted to get in my car and escape!!

OP posts:
Spadequeen · 11/07/2017 17:26

You have nothing to apologise for. Go back and read your own posts. This could have all been prevented by mr and mrs ndn having a word with the nanny to not park across your drive. They chose not to. Mrs ndn decided to have a go at you and was quite nasty.

Make your bed and lie in it!

Hope you're ok though Writer

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 11/07/2017 18:20

I wouldn't worry about it. I think he just feels awkward. im sure he must realise how tricky his wife is (putting it mildly) but he's been getting it in the ear about how she blames you

Fingers crossed it'll all settle down when the new childcare starts and she can get back to work etc

(And the new nanny doesn't park on your bloody drive!)