Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

[Writerwannabe83]

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset

She wouldn't have had to be in any contact with you if she hadn't bloody done something you'd asked her not to several times!!!

How dare she say she feels vulnerable.

The nanny and Mrs ndn sound well suited! Let your dh go round, this is madness!! You are the victim, you can't get on and off your own property and the two aspiring actresses are there laying it on thick. Nah fuck them, go round and say it's simple she either stops parking or you call 101 Everytime and you doubt they want their dirty laundry aired in work

it sounds like the nanny is a bit of a lying manipulative moose to me. Who has worked out exactly which buttons to press with her employers.

I'd let DH go round tbh, they're way beyond taking the piss.

And why the fuck do they think that parking over their drive when their employee is blocking yours, is an overreaction. What are you meant to do, park up and wait for her to move - if she's even there and hasn't gone for a walk or similar. Nope. Idiots.

Why have you stopped him going around?

Let him go!

Hopefully nanny leaves and then next one won't be thick as shit and will park decently.

Another vote for sending dh round.

This isn't your fault.

I can't believe Mrs NDN is a police officer! I wouldn't like my life in her hands.

I hope you're okay OP. What a mess.

And tell her they are as two faced as each other, both happy to lie and throw each other under the bus, tell her the nanny didn't seem one bit intimidated at your door begging you to move before Mrs ndn came home so obviously it's Mrs ndn she's intimidated by

Well it looks like it's going to be necessary to have a talk about this with all of you there so no one can hide behind any lies.

FFS can't believe they're making this your problem.

I think you've reached the point where you might have to leave it now before there really is a big falling out.

Your position is very clear and NDN's know exactly how you feel, surely the nanny won't park over your drive again after all of this.

I fully understand how furious you must be, a visitor to our NDN used to do it and it used to drive me absolutely mad.

You might just have to persevere with the parking in the 'nanny space' so she can't situation as much as possible, your thread has been amazing though OP

Well now I wish you'd left your car over their fucking drive! The nanny sounds a right one

Do not apologise again! Ignore them.

Childcare woes are stressful - that's why Mrs NDN had lost it so spectacularly. She's pissed off with herself, with Nuisance Nanny and with her DH who's not on her side, but you're the only one she can take it out on.

Just ignore, now. Park where you like, refuse to drive over your pathway, refuse to accept blame.

They've caused this. By caring about their drive more than the fact that their nanny is driving their DC around in a car liable to drip oil everywhere. By caring about their own convenience more than neighbourly relations. And NN sounds like a brat who will cry to get her own way.

Nine of it's your fault.

A new thread! Thank fucking god!!!!

If someone had reduced my nanny to tears to the point she was considering her position then I would be furious as well. And considering you raised your voice and swore at the NDN the day before, you can see why she was always going to believe the nanny over you.

You've been cast in the hero role on this thread and I think it's wound you up to believe that the nanny is pure spite and evil and has "brass neck", incapable of getting upset. It's equally likely she is just a thoughtless young woman. You didn't need to stick the knife in by going round tonight and making her think she was going to lose her job. You've not behaved well here either and if you've managed to ruin their childcare arrangement as well, then you can understand how difficult you have just made their lives.

Take a step back from the computer and think about it as if there were actual people involved, not just another pretty diagram and drama to get a virtual round of applause on the internet.

Oh writer

Do not feel bad you absolutely did the right thing!! And alsonyoundid what Mrs NDN told you to do.

If nanny carries on parking like a twat then stick to your word and park across their drive. Do not give in! Think of the paving slabs!!

I've just read thread number 1 and so pleased I found this.

Op, you have done nothing wrong. Mrsndn told you to take it up with the nanny, you did, she only has herself to blame that she may have lost her childcare at short notice.

Yes you may have gone ott with the swearing, but if she'd have behaved like a reasonable person (ie apologise about the nanny and tell her not to park across your drive) then none of this would have happened.

She created this mess, she now needs to deal with the consequences.

All manipulators turn it round so they are the victim.

Boo hoo, get the nanny a tissue.

CinderellaRockefeller

What nonsense. It's clear to any reasonable person that the nanny has behaved terribly and the OP was more than patient.

Mrs NDN sounds unhinged!

Report Mr & Mrs NDN to their force for turning a blind eye to a parking offence. I'm sure an old neighbour of ours had problems because he hadn't done anything about another neighbour who parked an untaxed car on the road for weeks.
*I was merely a bystander in that drama!

Cinderella didn't youRTFT (the other one)? Nanny was behaving like a nob and being extremely disrespectful parking across someone else's driver tome again when she did been asked not to.

You can't behave like that - deliberately flout someone's wishes to stop blocking them in heir drive - and get upset when they eventually snap and rightly tell you to pack it in

That's so dreadful. Are you okay? Why show you into the house to shout at you? That's pretty intimidating.

Hard though it is OP I think you have to just step back now and let this one play out. RN is massively manipulative and has played her ace card today by threatening to leave NDN's in the lurch for childcare. You won't be able to persuade NDN's that RN is in the wrong now so save yourself the stress of trying. Something else will happen at some point and NDN's will see RN for what she is but all you can do for now is wait for that to happen, they owe you a big apology at that point though.

As for the parking I think you just have to go back to asking her to move everytime she parks over your drive, assuming she's going to keep pushing her luck and parking there. None of this is your fault and I think you've handled it well on your side but there's no accounting for batshit crazy nannies and the NDN's taken in by them.

But why don't they resolve the issue by getting over the oil leak thing and let her use their drive. Surely keeping their childcare arrangement going is more important, to them at least, in the grand scheme of it.

They can resolve this themselves but are choosing not to. Unless I've missed something, yes I have rtf, just thought it may have come up again and I'd missed it.

Cinderella - the OP just wants access to her own drive way.

This is only an issue because of the nanny's belligerence.

I can see where your NDN is coming from on this.

Yesterday you went batshit crazy at her. She may have said this to the nanny - a warning of sorts. Today you've acted aggressively by parking over her employers drive, in the hope that it will get her into trouble. The nanny could see this as aggressive behaviour.

The NDNs have been at work, and lets face it, being in the force isn't a cup of tea, so they were most probably tired and stressed. The last thing they needed was to come home to more conflict.

Fingers crossed, this is the last time the nanny will park there - either through her own conscience, or because she has resigned her employment. However I think you have now ruined your relationship with your neighbours; and you may have to disclose this dispute if you ever move house.

But - for what it's worth, I'd have done exactly what you did!