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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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MsJolly · 13/06/2017 20:40

Oh Writer, you have been so assertive and mainly calm I am in awe!

I think the above recommendations are good-especially stating that you will phone the police on 101 every time, which will certainly put the professional jitters up them!!!

You have done nothing wrong and I do think they should be questioning leaving their children with someone who has proven to be a lying lazy manipulative bitch who won't listen to their instructions on something as simple as parking!

Don't engage further. Get your DH to do it.

PoorYorick · 13/06/2017 20:41

Agree with others to try and de-escalate a bit for now, but maybe your DH could go round and ask why they think it is totally acceptable for their employee to block your driveway on the off chance you're at work all day, but UTTERLY UNTHINKABLE for their own driveway to be blocked while they're definitely out all day?!

If you really do want to de-escalate, OP, don't send your husband round to tell them off.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 20:42

May I suggest that you speak to Nuisance Nanny and say you will have a role available for her shortly if she does tender her resignation? I would love to see how Mrs NDN would react!!!!

Hahahahahaha Grin Grin

OP posts:
SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 13/06/2017 20:42

You might want to think about getting a few cctv cams. One for the bedroom and one for the garden. remembering to block out NDNs garden & drive (and a small cctv notice thingy)

Shadow666 · 13/06/2017 20:42

The last I saw on the Army Dad thread was that the OP's baby was born prematurely but was doing ok. In her absence things had gotten violent and I think the lad had ended up punching her husband but the OP wasn't sure of the details being in hospital. I may be mis-remembering though. I'm not sure if there was another follow up thread that I missed.

Cuppaoftea · 13/06/2017 20:43

Sleep on it. Then your DH can go round and make the message clear. All you are trying to do is access your own drive. You should not be having to repeatedly request the nanny doesn't park there. She has the option to park on their drive, in front of their drive or round the corner. That it is none of your business what parking arrangements they make with her but you need access to your drive at all times. You won't discuss this with them again, you'll contact the council if it continues.

IHateUncleJamie · 13/06/2017 20:43

I would let your DH round to express 1. His deep disappointment in your NDN's behaviour, inviting a pregnant woman round to then project their issues onto her (you) and 2. His extreme annoyance that having thrown nanny under the bus yday and promising to speak to her, they are now attempting to blame YOU for THEIR EMPLOYEE'S persistently inconsiderate parking. And to finish by saying he trusts that'll be the end of it because for them to vent at you when their Nanny is the one at fault is wholly unacceptable.

MrsHathaway · 13/06/2017 20:43

at this stage it is very much a he said she said situation and if you think the police are going to side with writer over their own when there's no proof of anything either way...

Erm, if OP's car is on her drive and nanny's car is parked blocking it then it isn't "he said she said" but an actual parking offence.

chicaguapa · 13/06/2017 20:44

If the nanny leaves it will because of the parking issue caused by Mr & Mrs NDN in not allowing her to park on their own driveway. This is easily resolved by them. They can relax their parking rules for their nanny. If they choose not to do that and she leaves to get another job where she doesn't have to fight with the NDN over where she's parking her car, that's their lookout not yours. Don't let them make it your fault.

Rachel0Greep · 13/06/2017 20:45

Hugs OP. You didn't do anything wrong. Have a Brew, I know you can't have Wine just now.
No advice really, but they are in the wrong, plain and simple. Mrs NDN and the Nanny sound a right pair.

I think it would be good if DH went around and spoke to them, but obviously that is a decision for yourselves.

Oldbutstillgotit · 13/06/2017 20:46

Anyone else wondering where RN will park tomorrow??

LadyPenelope67 · 13/06/2017 20:48

Mrs NDN is a selfish witch. She wasn't arsed about the parking arrangements or your inconvenience and upset until it potentially affected her! She had the opportunity to sort things and didn't take it. So now she faces losing her nanny (yeah, right...she's a manipulative wee cow as well). Boo hoo hoo.
Have some of these OP Flowers
Your thread has given a lot of pleasure to a lot of people. Be proud Grin

AyeAmarok · 13/06/2017 20:48

Oh dear. I think the nanny has totally manipulated them. Mrs NDN is being a cow too.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 13/06/2017 20:49

Old, she isn't working tomorrow (we think).

Mores the pity as I want to know where she will park next

SootSprite · 13/06/2017 20:49

They are arseholes, I hope you're not too upset by all this OP x

BoraThirch · 13/06/2017 20:50

I think you should just leave it for now and see where the nanny parks next time.

NDN is freaking out about childcare, but honestly they caused this issue by banning the nanny from parking on their drive.

Rhodiolia · 13/06/2017 20:52

That certainly escalated quickly! Shock

diddl · 13/06/2017 20:53

"as she'd honestly believed I was at work "

Well she shouldn't assume stuff, should she?

It wouldn't have been so bad her parking there if she was then available to move her car when Op wanted.

And here's a radical thought.

Put some sand on the drive, NDN's & let the nanny park there!

Kokusai · 13/06/2017 20:55

She's a total fucking bitch!

I think DH should go round and tell them THEY are he ones causing a problem by letting THEIR nanny park over OUR drive and they need to stop being such incknsiderate people and how DARE they have a go at you.

thatdearoctopus · 13/06/2017 20:55

Yes, the "I'm going to have to seriously consider whether I can continue working for you" is a direct threat. Otherwise, she'd have walked out then and there.

wheatchief · 13/06/2017 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thatdearoctopus · 13/06/2017 20:58

And I'm another one wondering why she couldn't have parked in front of their drive, as opposed to yours if, as far as she supposed, both of you were out and she intended to move her car before they got home? Nothing to stop her blocking their drive in that case, was there?

notapizzaeater · 13/06/2017 20:59

When is the nanny due back - I'd be tempted to see if she parks again - if she does I'd report it yo the local Bobby

CandleWithHair · 13/06/2017 20:59

In the interests of a quiet life NDN should pay for Nanny to get whatever it is that's leaking fixed, then she can use their stupid sodding driveway like a normal person.

I feel for you OP, this is utterly ridiculous and totally unnecessary!

thatdearoctopus · 13/06/2017 21:00

I don't think there's any point whatsoever in contacting the police in this case. They look after their own, so it's highly unlikely they'll give them a bollocking.

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