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Original poster

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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Spadequeen · 13/06/2017 19:58

Cinderella, the nanny had been asked to not park across the drive, she ignored that. Op asked her employers to ask the nanny to not park across the drive, mrs ndn was rude and basically told op tough, not my problem, talk to nanny. So op did.

So many opportunities for others to ensure this didn't escalate. They obviously expected op to shut up and go away, she didn't and why should she? Why was not inconviencing the nanny or ndn more important than op not being inconvenienced?

ScissorBow · 13/06/2017 19:58

Before, MrsNDN was unconcerned about it because it didn't affect her; her driveway was clear when she came home, oil free and what happened whilst she was at work wasn't her problem. Now she's bricking it about losing a nanny (good ones are hard to find) she's choosing to side with the nanny (obviously) but actually if she'd addressed the parking directly with the nanny earlier she'd have a happy neighbour and a happy nanny. So this absolutely isn't your fault.

PunnetSquare · 13/06/2017 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1472334322 · 13/06/2017 20:02

Can someone please link in the original thread? I can't find it. Thank you

Materdolores · 13/06/2017 20:03

Well Ms Nanny and Mrs NDN are caaahs for preventing you from accessing your property.
You can no longer expect to be either of them's BFF.
Feck em. Double feck em. You can hold your head up as you haven't caused any of this. Ms Nanny did. And Mr and Mrs NDN by not doing the right thing.

loveyouradvice · 13/06/2017 20:03

FlowersFlowersFlowers

echoing above - so manipulative - so pathetic - don't let yourself get trapped in the nanny's games...

You have been AMAZING ... an utter Mumsnet hero.... on so many levels.

Im guessing you've moved your car... and the nanny has so learnt her lesson, even though she's playing the poor little me card...

I'd let it all calm down ... I suspect yr neighbours do really know what's going on... once they've emerged from nanny-panic in a few days, you may want to suggest to DH he goes and talks to hubby and gently puts your side of the story forward, and rebuilds bridges....

Meanwhile, do whatever makes you feel good - glass of wine, long bubblebath while DH looks after kids... and just recognise that you're in a great position and they're the ones having the really tough time at the moment, however contrary that may feel!! you have your sanity - your DH and kids - a huge admiring audience of supporters on here... and lots to be proud of!

Trb17 · 13/06/2017 20:03

They are so out of order. You are not in the wrong OP.

As others have said... she told you to take it up with the nanny and now has a go at you for doing as she told you!

Your NDN's are batshit.

Please get your council to paint a H line so that anyone parking there is prohibited.

Huffletuff · 13/06/2017 20:04

I think the Nanny needs a Biscuit.

Also, maybe start looking into the legalities of someone blocking your drive and draft them something in writing clearly stating that if the drive continues to be blocked, you will be contacting the council/non emergency police blah blah.

ShoesHaveSouls · 13/06/2017 20:05

Writer, the nuisance nanny is in the wrong here - not you.

She's parking over your driveway - who does that? I'll tell you who, our NDN's daughter, that's who! We had a very similar situation, and I must admit, it's all sorted now, but it did get quite nasty.

At one point, NDNs were making up some rubbish about how they were legally allowed to park there for 20 minutes for "loading" - and whenever challenged she's say "Oh, yes, I've finished loading now, so I'll move it" Hmm

DH did really have a go at them in the end, which is not like him, and she doesn't park there anymore. I did feel bad about it at the time - but fuck, they were so in the wrong.

bluediamonds · 13/06/2017 20:05

Ok, what you have to do now is report tob101 everytime she parks over your drive (this is a matter for the police Grin!) -all the better for you when she's actually blocking you in! Local PCSO will get involved and will have to go round there and explain things to the POs. That should shame them enough to get this sorted! Idiots!

PoorYorick · 13/06/2017 20:05

In retrospect, and with some of the comments on here to think about, I can see why there might have been an alternative way of handling it (after you'd parked across the NDN's driveway....honestly, that really was the only thing to do by that point. You'd asked nicely, you'd made it clear what would happen. Perhaps it was the 'talking at' the nanny that you had after she asked you to move that did her in.).

With that said, I do notice that Mrs NDN was quite happy to ignore this as long as it was only you being inconvenienced and blocked and ignored. It's a bit rich for her to go this batshit as soon as it starts to impact on her.

I suggest sleeping on it, seeing what happens tomorrow and taking it from there. Chances are Nanny will park considerately and this will all blow over.

MiaowTheCat · 13/06/2017 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LagunaBubbles · 13/06/2017 20:06

You have done nothing wrong OP. The nanny and the MrsNdn sound as bad as each other.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/06/2017 20:07

Well the nanny may have made an "honest mistake" by parking yet again today over the OP's drive but surely the moment she saw the OP's car parked I front of NDN house, she should have immediately moved her car round the corner. Instead she left it there and took the baby out in pushchair.
She could have nipped this in the bud.

Pollyanna9 · 13/06/2017 20:07

rjay - OP did not go 'batshit crazy' on her neighbour (although if she had done, who could blame her).

So clearly in your world being tired and stressed is a reason (excuse) to behave like entitled twat neighbours without a thought for the needs of anyone else in their street? Bullshit.

'You may have ruined your relationship with your neighbours' - OP didn't ruin it, they did, by their shoddy behaviour, refusing to address the problem, being slippery and evasive and a whipped husband who's clearly got a permanent thumb mark on the top his head from wifey.

What an odd post pointing out all the things 'OP' did wrong, then saying you'd have done the same?! I'm confused.

OP did nothing wrong. The neighbours did everything wrong, plus the nanny is a big bare faced liar to boot. (And probably an old boot as well :-)).

Narnia72 · 13/06/2017 20:07

Don't engage any more, call the council every time and get her a parking ticket. They seem to come out fairly quickly where I am (herts). Just shrug if they confront you and say "I asked you all many times to stop this. You won't let her park on or over your drive and yet you think it's acceptable to block my access, something that we use many times a day. I will report her each time she parks over my drive. I suggest between you, you find an alternative parking so,union that doesn't involve my property. Bye. "

OhWotIsItThisTime · 13/06/2017 20:08

RudeNanny should be handling the Brexit negotiations, due to her ace manipulating skills.

Writer, considering the arrogant cheek you've had to put up with, I commend you for your restraint. You've done nothing wrong.

Fairenuff · 13/06/2017 20:08

I would get dh to write a note and drop it round.

Dear NDN.

I'm disappointed that, yet again, this parking issue has not been resolved.

You told me that you had instructed your employee to not park over our driveway. Despite appearing to respect and comply with this decision, your Nanny has completely disregarded it as soon as your back was turned. In your position, I would be wondering what other instructions she flouts in your absence.

Anyway, as was previously discussed. If your employee parks over our driveway again, we will park over yours. I hope that is clear and that this matter can now be resolved once and for all.

In anticipation of your co-operation.

Regards

DH & OP

BewareOfDragons · 13/06/2017 20:09

Cinderella, that is ridiculous. The OP tried to resolve the matter by talking to the NDNs; all she got was blowback and an earful from Mrs NDN, telling her it wasn't their problem, that they couldn't control where the nanny could park, that she had to take it up with the nanny re parking and and damage to their path as a result of her parking, etc. OP told her that it wasn' ton. And Mr NDN came over to apologize for Mrs NDN's attitude and told the nanny not to park there any more. Nanny continued to do so.

OP, you have done nothing wrong. Mrs NDN is an ass, and Mr NDN is a coward for letting her have a go at you over THEIR employee's behaviour. She's turned on the water works no doubt ... after CHOOSING to continue to block your driveway instead of her employer's driveway. Entirely on her.

Let your DH go next door and tell them off. And call the police station they work for.

IntrusiveBastards · 13/06/2017 20:09

Knob heads utter knob heads. Why are you stopping your dh? Be a united front and stop this now.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/06/2017 20:10

If it happens again, you could always report them to their commanding officer for refusing to ensure their nanny abides by the law.

They all sound as bad as eachother tbh. The nanny for continuing to park where she shouldn't, Mrs NdN for refusing to accept a gracious apology and Mr NdN for being a Lilly livered man.

Oldbutstillgotit · 13/06/2017 20:11

Nanny is a conniving bitch, Mrs NDN is a bully, Mr NDN is a wimp and you, OP, are lovely. Wish you were my neighbour .

Deemail · 13/06/2017 20:11

Ugh both the Nanny and wife are manipulative pieces of work! Her dh was unhappy with how she approached things yesterday and now she's pretending to care about the Nanny whereas yesterday she wanted nothing to do with it.

Well you know what f**k them. Every time the Nanny parks on your drive park in front of theirs, let them be the ones coming around asking you to move.

Trb17 · 13/06/2017 20:12

I've got an odd batshit neighbour (for many antisocial reasons) who occasionally has been known to park with the rear of her car a couple of feet over my drives H line.

That was until I opened the front door and told her screamed at her to move it. She tried to argue the 2 foot over was "only just over" so I told her she was deluded. I may have yelled some more. She moved it Grin

Now I take great pleasure in watching her park, getting out, checking the back is not near my H line, and then getting back in and moving further away Wink

Stand your ground OP. They are inconsiderate arseholes.

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