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Lending money with conditions

(413 Posts)

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p5oebe Wed 22-Feb-17 09:26:41

Dh has been made redundant (bloody brexit) & frantically searching for another job but its really difficult as his work is very specific. I work but low paid & we have a max mortgage that we can only afford with his salary. I also have two pre schoolers at home.

Dm has very kindly offered to tide us over if it comes to that, they are very well off & adore the grandkids & extremely generous with gifts for them etc

The only thing is she has insisted we stop shopping at Waitrose, Boden & our favourite shops basically she is a reverse snob (?) and doesnt miss an opportunity to tell me what a waste Waitrose is. I am very particular about food & what the kids eat. We dont have a freezer or microwave & i find it so much easier to shop fresh somewhere i trust. I spend approx £150 a week for the four of us.
We hardly drink & rarely buy clothes for dh & I but obviously the kids need new clothes regularly. She's basically said i don't want you to waste my money!

YouMeddlingKids Wed 22-Feb-17 09:28:44

YABU, she is being very generous and why would she want you to spend more than you need to? £150 pw is all well and good if you can afford it, but you can't. Get a cheap second hand freezer off ebay and bulk cook discount food.

Trinketsofgold Wed 22-Feb-17 09:29:28

Hahaha! haha! Ha! biscuit

ClusterFuckTadpole Wed 22-Feb-17 09:30:13

£150 a week is a lot for food, and your current situation doesn't allow for it. If you can't get the money elsewhere then your mother is kind to lend it. I would also be annoyed about conditions but you don't really have an option. YABU

Basicbrown Wed 22-Feb-17 09:30:33

I am very particular about food & what the kids eat

Because Waitrose carrots are much healthier than Tesco ones. Yabu.

I really wonder if this is for real tbh, surely anyone would cut back if they actually had no money.

EssieTregowan Wed 22-Feb-17 09:31:17

Hahaha good one.

p5oebe Wed 22-Feb-17 09:31:58

I feel sick at the thought of discount food though sad
She occasionally gives us Primark clothes & they're just so thin & scratchy i don't think the kids would want to wear them

WhoremoaneeGrainger Wed 22-Feb-17 09:32:02

Sorry but i agree with your mum in a way. Whilst helping you out shouldnt come with conditions, i can understand he concerns.

You can buy fresh quality food cheaper than Waitrose. Try somewhere cheaper and learn to trust your instincts with regard to the quality.

And your children dont NEED to wear Boden. They just need to be warm and comfortable, which you can also buy cheaper elsewhere.

You have to live according to your means, and if your mum is prepared to help you with the mortgage etc you need to be cutting back/down on what you spend on other things too.

Therefore i think YABU.

Pinotwoman82 Wed 22-Feb-17 09:32:13

Oh dear hmm

Bailey101 Wed 22-Feb-17 09:32:55

Beggars can't be choosers, and if you're that intent on spending money you can't afford them don't take money off of your parents to waste as well.

alltouchedout Wed 22-Feb-17 09:33:52

Your dc will be just as warm, dry and comfortable in clothes from Asda and Primark and H&M as in clothes from Boden.
Your nutritional needs will be just as well met with food from Aldi or Lidl as with food from Waitrose.
I don't understand how you can think you can continue to afford your previous lifestyle without your DH's previous income. You just can't.
A freezer would be a good investment. A basic microwave can be bought brand new for around £40, second hand is probably even cheaper.

Basicbrown Wed 22-Feb-17 09:34:01

You can't be for real 😂😂😂

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alltouchedout Wed 22-Feb-17 09:35:01

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harderandharder2breathe Wed 22-Feb-17 09:35:24


You can't afford your high priced snobbery anymore, you'll have to slum it at Asda with the plebs

Basicbrown Wed 22-Feb-17 09:35:43

Thanks though op because this is the quote of the year:

I feel sick at the thought of discount food

NoraDora Wed 22-Feb-17 09:36:54

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

sum1killthepawpatrollers Wed 22-Feb-17 09:36:57

biscuit sorry its not a waitrose one tho

p5oebe Wed 22-Feb-17 09:37:18

But we are very frugal in other ways though. I love sewing & knitting i mend dh's jumpers constantly! We are lucky enough to own woodland behind the house & collect our own wood for the fire. I grow veggies & we have chickens. The kids don't have many toys & we dont have a TV. Our car is second hand & dh cycles to the train. What im trying to say is that we're not exactly spend happy but i don't like to compromise on food & i like the kids to look good

FellOutOfBed2wice Wed 22-Feb-17 09:38:10

Aldi fresh produce is great. You can still cook fresh, healthy food on a third of that £150 a week if you shop there. The Super Six is particularly good.

5moreminutes Wed 22-Feb-17 09:39:28


Poor you OP grin

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Wed 22-Feb-17 09:40:27

Well, whether she lends you money or not you will have to knock the Boden and Waitrose habit on the head til your DH gets a new job so you might as well go for it if you do indeed exist

Reow Wed 22-Feb-17 09:41:03

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ineedwine99 Wed 22-Feb-17 09:41:14

I'm with your mum. We shop at Aldi even though we can afford waitrose, we don't see the point in spending extra, we've never had any problems with anything from Aldi. We also buy a lot of clothes from Primark/Asda/Tesco and they are all lovely, again we do not want to spend a fortune given how quickly kids grow out of things. The only time our baby wears M&S etc is if someone buys it as a gift.

p5oebe Wed 22-Feb-17 09:41:52

??? This is real. Are you laughing because you think im being ridiculous? Maybe i am but i just don't think microwaves are healthy & if i had a freezer i know things would just languish at the bottom & actually i think it's more economical to cook fresh. I make my own sodabread most days. To give you an example my kids like peanut butter. I buy meridian brand which dm scoffs at - she buys some cheapo stuff with palm oil in it sad ok, she's out of date but who would willing give their kids palm oil confusedconfused

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