Lending money with conditions

[p5oebe]

Dh has been made redundant (bloody brexit) & frantically searching for another job but its really difficult as his work is very specific. I work but low paid & we have a max mortgage that we can only afford with his salary. I also have two pre schoolers at home.

Dm has very kindly offered to tide us over if it comes to that, they are very well off & adore the grandkids & extremely generous with gifts for them etc

The only thing is she has insisted we stop shopping at Waitrose, Boden & our favourite shops basically she is a reverse snob (?) and doesnt miss an opportunity to tell me what a waste Waitrose is. I am very particular about food & what the kids eat. We dont have a freezer or microwave & i find it so much easier to shop fresh somewhere i trust. I spend approx £150 a week for the four of us.
We hardly drink & rarely buy clothes for dh & I but obviously the kids need new clothes regularly. She's basically said i don't want you to waste my money!

I thought Aldi was where all middle class people shopped these days. Waitrose is old hat.

Why don't you think microwaves are healthy? They can heat up food you've cooked yourself you know. They don't box it into a salty ready and blast it with radioactive particles meal the moment you shut the door.

Haahaahaahaaa!

I shop at Lidl and I don't have a microwave, and manage to avoid aspartame

How can if be more economical to shop on many occasions in a week instead of one shop where you decide in spending a fixed 90 pounds or whatever at a sensible shop that sells at sensible prices.
I think it's a wind up post surely

This is too ridiculous to be real

A chicken is a chicken is a chicken, whether you buy it from Waitrose, Tesco or Aldi. It's a bloody chicken! Why pay double for it if you don't need to or can't afford to.

Most of the stuff in all the supermarkets come out of the same factory anyway, packaged in different boxes and priced according to what shop they're sold in.

I live on the breadline and sometimes go without food so my kids can eat, and believe me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with 'cheap' food - the veg you buy at Tesco tastes exactly the same as the veg you buy at Tesco or Asda.

Waitrose don't actually produce the food! It would be impossible! There are too many lines .
For example, a can of baked beans bearing the Waitrose label is likely to be made by the same factory that produces baked beans for Tesco. ..just to different recipes

I'm sure the bailiffs will be very pleased they can have a cup of tea and a biscuit from Waitrose when they repossess your house.

Seriously, roof over your kids heads or posh food... I hope you're trolling. Nobody here died from eating at Aldi.

Get over yourself.

you need to seriously think about some lifestyle changes

I don't understand, no microwave and no freezer would suggest you cook from scratch. Yes? I can understand people preferring ready meals from waitrose/M&S to an asda basic lasagne but if you're cooking everything from scratch surely it is pretty obvious if the ingredients are fresh or not and if that it the case then it really doesn't matter where the come from, as others have said, carrots in Asda are exactly the same as carrots from waitrose. Just substantially cheaper.

I don't think your mum is being a reverse snob. I think she is rightly pointing out that your circumstances have changed and therefore your spending habits have to too.

I don't understand why you are reading labels looking for aspartine if you are cooking from scratch all the time.

There aren't sweeteners in fresh produce

There are some food items that I won't compromise on - peanut butter is one of those, are are organic eggs and milk, but I buy most fruit and veg from markets, and eat little meat - but we buy good quality meat when we can afford it rather than cheap meat all the time.

My kids have lots of Boden clothes from charity shops (most of their clothes are from charity shops). And I won't buy clothes from companies who have a history of treating their workers unfairly, so I don't go to primark.

So... why don't you make a list of things you really can't budge on - make it a short list! - and share it and your reasons with your DM and then ask her for suggestions on how you can economise on everything else.

Just assuming this is real...

Like a pp I have also lent money to a close family member just to watch it get pissed up the wall. It's fucking galling. They still have a huge mortgage but hey, they've got a really fancy car!

£150 a week for 2 adults and 2 preschoolers? Your mum is being generous, and you are doing the 'yes but' routine. Perhaps when your husband has been unemployed for a while you'll realise how ridiculous you are being.

Why do you need to check for aspartame if you make everything from scratch?

OP I think I love you.

Do you believe that the Aldi staff spend hours every day scavenging through the Waitrose skip so they have stuff to sell in their own store? hahaha! Why do you believe that microwave cooking is less healthy than any other sort? Why do you avoid palm oil? Just because of the saturated fat content? You eat eggs and dairy though? My issue with palm oil is with the environmental consequences, but you are running a woodburner so you aren't that bothered about the environment. Your arguments are illogical.
Buy second hand if you don't want to buy cheap clothes, but your food issues are just that: issues. your Mum is right: you need to find a more budget friendly way to feed your family.

Tenshidarkangel. Love it lol

When my husband was unemployed suddenly, we had to shop at Aldi! £37 a week fed us well. We didn't have anyone to ride us over and we had to make do with the small amount we had in the bank.

You can always take waitrose carrier bags to aldi to avoid the shame when unloading the car. If you go when it's dark then no-one will spot you in the car park.

If the clothes feel scratchy - invest in fabric softener. Primark clothes may not be the best made things but you are not exactly flush at the moment. Asda clothes are cheap and well made so buy the majority there and then go on Ebay or to charity shops for second hand Boden stuff (I don't know anyone who buys Boden for their babies, maybe I'm just common).

Asda, Tesco and Iceland are your friend for basics like bread, butter, cleaning stuff etc. Buy food from the whoops section and freeze it on the day, then you won't be resorting to ready meals. If you really dislike palm oil don't buy the peanut butter or try Aldi - they sometimes have good brands cheaply. Discount food isn't always crap quality - you say your mum is a reverse snob but I think she's just realistic, it's you being the snob.

I feel sick at the thought of discount food though Really ?

Can you sell the woodland ?

Second hand clothes for the kids might be better at least most of them aren't made in sweat shops by kids on 60p a day. Primark's a horrible shop. Charity shops are great