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Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

(454 Posts)
EssieTregowan Fri 03-Feb-17 10:23:47

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

Only1scoop Fri 03-Feb-17 10:26:47

shock

pinkbraces Fri 03-Feb-17 10:27:11

gringringrin I'm sorry I have nothing useful to say but that made me laugh out loud.

SparklyMagpie Fri 03-Feb-17 10:27:53

Jesus OP! Even I don't know what else to say to that grin

NassauBeach Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:19

I'm sorry that is so mean and so funny!

birdling Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:26

Ummmmm.......... [gun emoticon]

Snap8TheCat Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:34

shock oh my god! You actually thought that sentence, that's bad enough but then you said it. Outloud? Geez.

Lweji Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:47

Next time you see her mention your drug issues. It's less embarassing.

MrsJayy Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:56

Oh urm what did Rebecca say ? You are a numpty but i think you know that

Foxesarefriends Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:04

Oh, I don't even know what to say to make this better. She maybe will think you are a Harry Enfield considerably richer than you type? grin

123MothergotafleA Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:04

Me too. 😬😬😬😄😄😄😄

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:08

Oh crikey OP! At least you recognise you've said something daft!

I say daft stuff too sometimes. I struggle to deal with fairly normal social situations. We've had a workman in over the past week and just the act of offering him cups of tea is really stressful! And I keep saying silly things and being clumsy. It's bloody awful.

MumBod Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:10

Fucking hell, you poor sod grin

EssieTregowan Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:33

I don't even think like that. I've no idea why it came out of my mouth.

I actually hate myself right now. I may never leave the house again.

Oswin Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:55

Oh god that's awful but hilarious sorry!

I would deffo be moving grin

NarkyMcDinkyChops Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:56

Oh god, thats bad. I do the same kind of thing, but....ouch.

With any luck she'll assume she misheard/misunderstood you, thinking that you couldn't possibly have said what she thinks she heard.

Dude. blush wink

SoupDragon Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:03

Yeah, that's pretty bad!

Go over there now and apologise profusely. Say that it didn't come out quite the way it sounded in your head.

EssieTregowan Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:10

She didn't say anything. I fled. I mean I literally ran back into my house and slammed the door.

Phantommanflinger Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:16

Pop a note through her door saying sorry for being a dick, you have a problem with blurting nonsense?

Why was that even in your head?

CrumbsThatsQuick Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:25

Holy fuck.
Eeeeeeeeeeeek. Made me laugh too.

Apology note, no idea what I was thinking etc etc etc and flowers.

Foxesarefriends Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:39

Go over, you can't leave it like this.

FairNotFair Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:41

Hot sweet tea, OP. Hot sweet tea grin .

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:43

Oh my God, I'm dying for you! Massive intake of breath here!

I have no idea how to rectify it though - maybe a card through the door expressing mortification and inviting for a coffee? At a cafe, rather than in the more valuable house..... grin

CharlieDimmocksbosoms Fri 03-Feb-17 10:31:16

Oh dear. Put a note through the door.
Rebecca I'm so sorry for saying what I did. I am a complete idiot and my mouth ran away with itself. I don't think I'm better off at all- especially in social etiquette. My only excuse is I suffer from crippling anxiety and said the wrong thing. Please come over for a coffee soon and let me apologise in person. Essie.

NewtRipley Fri 03-Feb-17 10:31:20

Ok, so here's what I said to the young guy opposite who was working on the exterior of his house :

"It looks lovely. Thanks for giving us something nice to look at.... The house I mean, not you"

Cue hoots of laughter from inside my house from teen boys

I was simultaneously creepy and insulting

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