Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

[EssieTregowan]

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

That's good! Now go ddeliver it!!

You need cbt

If you see her out and about in the street every so often it might be easier for you to quickly say to her that you didn't mean it and you have anxiety issues so have little panics like that. If I was her I'd understand & she may have already guessed you didn't actually mean it.

if it's any comfort, if you just apologise and say you had an anxiety induced brainfart, then only a nob wouldn't laugh and forgive you.

And you know, can she really afford to be picky about her friends? Especially from a terraced house.

The note's perfect, but I'm wondering if you have a supermarket nearby for a bunch of blooms? That way you could attach the note to them, go over and place them in her hands with "I just wanted you to have this" and leave without having to say something you might trip over in your anxiety

Hopefully it might get your genuine regret across without too much awkwardness for either of you ... and the rest is up to her

can't stop laughing at the tourettes suggestion. sorry OP - I agree with the PPs who suggest knocking on the door and explaining that you suffer from social anxiety and can't control what comes out of your mouth. if she understands, great. if she doesn't, well, you tried to make it up to her and you can do no more.

OP, relax. It's not the end of the world.
Just go over, knock on the door and say 'Sorry'.
Then hand her a note explaining that you suffer from severe social anxiety which means that you really struggle to speak normally to strangers and you're really trying hard to deal with it.
Then ask her if she'd consider coming over for a coffee sometime.
Then walk back home, don't run.
I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Hand deliver a card to her house with your name on and say sorry when she brings it over.or better still a parcel so she can't just post it thru your letterbox.

at shouting 'fucking cunt!'

OP Honestly though, please please don't worry about it :) if you see her, perhaps say something about it, but please don't let it stress you out or anything!! :)

Oh holy shit! You can rescue this, don't panic. If you can't face her, put a card through just saying what you've said here.

You poor thing!! Please go over straight away and say "I've been thinking about this all morning and am so sorry to have been so rude earlier. I get a bit awkward with new people and blurt out weird things that I don't mean. I feel awful. Can I invite you over for coffee to say sorry?"

Please go over! Otherwise you'll have to avoid the neighbour for years and years -or move house-

I'd do this although we live in a starter home
Stick a note through and invite her for a brew

I'd say it rather than write a note, TBH

Well, my jaw dropped at the original comment and then I have been laughing my head off at the Tourettes solution.

If someone said something like that to me, and then I got a note like that, any shred of annoyance or upset in me would evaporate - we've all said stupid things, it's just that not all of us have the insight to recognise when we might have hurt someone's feelings, or the gumption to apologise straight away.

I once said "twat" to my boyfriend's mother by mistake. I was telling an anecdote that involved twits and sacks. Ogod i still burn when I think of it.

Rebecca may have been pretending to folk she lives in the big 'ouse ...

I wouldn't write a note that is just going to make it even more awkward either catch her in the street and say oh Rebecca im sorry i said that you must be thinking I am a right idiot god knows why i said that. Or just cheery wave every time you see her and hope it blows over.

Oh dear, OP. I audibly gasped when I read what you'd said.

Definitely write the note. Sooner rather than later

Tigertorch your note sounds perfect.

Tricycle

Ok, so you are choosing to make someone feel worse over an unintentional slip-up

I don't think that covers you in glory

I recently read the book "So you've been publicly shamed" by Jon Ronson. Made me think differently about righteous anger on social media

Yes, drop in a note inviting her round. Do make sure to mention that being friends with you would be beneficial to her social standing...

We all have our cringey moments. One of mine from about 20 years ago, queuing up to get into Heaven, big gay club in London, with my gay friend, the bouncer was just checking and asked if we knew it was a gay club. I piped up with 'yes, and I'm very tolerant!'. AAaaaaaaaaaaargh! It still haunts me. Amazingly, he let us in, but what my GBF thought, I shudder to imagine.

Why are people expecting the op with social anxiety to be able to go over and knock on the door?!

The note is perfect, Essie. It'll help a lot. Go and put it through the door when she's not there.

NewtRipley I am going to find that. I find it fascinating when people do that, like on threads where someone has apologised and accepted that they are wrong yet others continue to pile in with this weird fury.