Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

[EssieTregowan]

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

Of course I'd be on Rebecca's side - it's still hilarious

Stand down Worra, I just tried them and nobody was in.

When I insult people I pretend they don't exist and erase them completely. I would do that ignore it and carry on. However at Xmas you could perhaps leave a goose for her and tiny Tim.

Bant Well as I posted ^^ just up there, I didn't assume my neighbour was a snob (she lives on the privately owned side of the street and I live on the HA side) I just assumed she had a brain fart and didn't hold it against her.

Wow some of you are literal. Like super literal. That must make life quite hard :(

I'd do this although we live in a starter home. Stick a note through and invite her for a brew

^ this! I feel for you OP, I have said some things that haven't actually formed as thoughts before they're out of my mouth and instantly regretted it. You sound lovely for what it's worth.

And the people laughing about Tourettes, it's not funny to make jokes about a debilitating condition that makes people's lives very difficult.

Yes Bantanddec I would definitely be on Rebecca's side.

Then when Rebecca came back with the update...

"The lady knocked and apologised profusely. She said she has crippling social anxiety and often blurts inappropriate things out in her awkward state".

I would say it was a lovely and brave thing for her neighbour to have done.

Does anyone here really think the OP's genuinely awkward and apologetic tone, is going to come over in writing?
Well, you're getting the "genuinely awkward and apologetic" tone from words on a screen, Worra, so I'm struggling to see your point?

I love that line you wrote, we're skint and I'm mental and add, please come for a coffee with me
I'd pop that on a card and put in her letter box, OP.

Your note sounds perfect
We've all made prats of ourselves

Oh man that is SO funny! Totally awful but still v funny.

I have Aspergers and the attendant social anxiety and even live in a similar set-up to the OP (naice-ish semi opposite a HA block used as temp emergency accommodation) but it wouldn't have occurred to me to say something like that. Pretty sure I'd have mumbled something about the confusing street numbering. So I can't think social anxiety is entirely to blame.

But nobody died, so I'd just apologise and move on.

Also, to those suggesting the OP asks her neighbour in for a cup of tea

Remember she has crippling social anxiety.

It was an awful thing to say. I think I'd have to go over and apologise even if she thought I was even more of a twat.

I have said some AWFUL cringeworthy things in my time, though, so I know how it feels.

Reminds me once of something my mum said. We had moved somewhere very rural where a lot of farms were and we met a new neighbour (woman) walking down the lane. My mum was asking them about family etc like you do and the lady said oh my husband died. My mum replied oh dear I hope he gets better soon and walked off now

I feel your pain OP, on holiday a few years ago we met a lovely couple a few years younger than us. We met them one evening in the bar and the wife enquired about my dress, it's French connection, says I, cost a bomb, but worth it. I then politely complimented hers, "oh, this is from Matalan" she replied "we bought all our holiday clothes from there before we came, less than £150 for the lot"

"yes" I said "you can tell"

WTAF!! I meant you could tell they had all new clothes, but I think my blustering explanations made it worse. I still feel sick thinking about it.

I think you should send the note ...explain you have social anxiety etc.
When I was much younger I had a problem with men thinking I fancied them when I didn't ... I wasn't consciously flirty, someone told me I was too friendly (but was with everyone)... Anyway it got me into a couple of awkward/embarrassing situations...
After a particularly bad day - (I'd had had to deal with two incidents) I walked in and said bluntly to one of my (male) flatmates -
God I've had a bad day. Do you think I fancy you? Because I don't ...I really don't. I don't think you are attractive in any way. I have absolutely no interest in you.
He actually handled it pretty well - said he didn't and that was fine and then said he had to get ready to go out.

It was only later (when I'd calmed down) that the penny dropped what I'd said was actually really insulting - no-one wants to be told they aren't attractive by anyone...whether they fancy them or not. And I hadn't really explained why I said what I did and could never find an opportunity to bring it up again...he avoided being on his own with me afterwards... I wish I had given him a note or something to explain as it could have dented his self confidence...

Flogging this is a live thread though, which the OP has taken part in.

You might be right, but I just think a note through the door might come across differently.

Mind you, it's certainly better than nothing at all.

nc for this. Still cringing years later. We moved from one end of the country to another. My DD was teased daily about her accent. At a meeting with her teacher, I said that she found the comments very upsetting and was trying to dumb down to fit in with everyone else. NOT WHAT I MEANT.....NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!

Apologies worra I wasnt aware op had apologised to her neighbour. In that case yes, she is very brave.

We're not laughing at Tourettes and I'm sorry if I came across that way. We're laughing more at that fact that she came out with something so horrendously inappropriate that a serious condition that one has no control over would be the only thing that could conceivably excuse it iyswim. Absolutely no offence intended and I apologise for any caused.

BigTwit

My mouth just hit the floor! Poor you