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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

453 replies

EssieTregowan · 03/02/2017 10:23

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 04/02/2017 22:23

Well, you don't know that HoHumming. Just thought it was an interesting question - after all there is often a trigger emotion for stuff we blurt out.

Thinking about things from different perspectives can be fun Smile

RavenQueen · 04/02/2017 22:58

This is why I don't speak to my neighbours and that's why they probably think I'm an ignorant cow!!

luckylorca · 04/02/2017 23:37

Have you ever been tested for ADHD? One of the symptoms can be blurting out awful things without thinking through ie totally impulsive...

Just a thought.

TathitiPete · 04/02/2017 23:47

Loving these stories, mine's not too awful (I don't think).

When pregnant with DD we were discussing possible names. The 'we' included four women besides myself. 'Madeline' suggests a few and I reply "I'm not really a fan of names that end in 'e'"!! So she looks at me like Hmm and points out her mother 'Jane' and daughter 'Christine' who are also in the room. Three out of the four other women in the room had names ending in 'e'.

And to finish, DDs name - which DH and I had decided before this conversation took place - actually does end in 'e'. (Maybe then it looks like I was just saying that to throw her off the scent? Unlikely )

Teaholic · 04/02/2017 23:54

when i was pregnant I said to my friend ''nah I don't like Irish names''' and she coughed. I had to say ''no I don't mean Sinéad, I mean, like, the other ones. My boss asked me if I'd call the baby after its father if it was a boy. And I said ''no I think that's a really stupid idea, two of the same name under the one roof, with the same initials, and what if he divorces me and I hate him and my child has my name, it's a stupid idea, no way. Then I said, ah yes ah forgot about Steven Jnr.

Mistletoekids · 04/02/2017 23:56

Ouch

TheHobbitMum · 04/02/2017 23:56

Oh fuck OP that is brutal 😂 Grin Can you emigrate tomorrow? Grin

alltheworld · 04/02/2017 23:58

Ok, I am going to tell this to make the op feel better. Years ago, I had a friend who fancies herself as a bit of a matchmaker. She wanted to set me up with her neighbour who she said went out with models all the time but she thought he would do better going out with someone like me. I said, ok but if he goes out with models, I would worry he would be disappointed. Oh no, she said, I have told him you are no looker. Reader, I never heard from him.

Jillofnotrades · 04/02/2017 23:59

I once asked a blind person if they knew where the light switch was. It was about 20 years ago and I still cringe about it...

KingMortificadosMistress · 05/02/2017 00:11

Jillofnotrades - that's not so bad. A blind person may very well know where the light switch is - whether for guests/ colleagues/visitors/ to turn it off at the end of the day.

Being blind doesn't mean they aren't familiar with the environment or are blind to the needs of others.

Cringing about it is actually worse than asking because it implies that you think a blind person wouldn't know or care.

TrueRose · 05/02/2017 00:15

I once said "your mum" (as an insult) to a guy who's mum had just died, as in a few days after.

I was 15 and sadly that was not my last 'kill me know' moment

TrueRose · 05/02/2017 00:15

Now* (it's late) Hmm

Ilikethedaffodils · 05/02/2017 00:43

I noticed one of the other playgroup mums was definitely getting a bit plump around the tummy and really hoped on her behalf that she was pregnant again especially as I knew she had sadly had a late miscarriage the year before. I didn't say anything to her or anyone else as I could totally understand she wasn't going to rush into announcing the happy news, if indeed there was happy news.

A few weeks later I was still none the wiser when by chance I happened to bump into the woman and her DH (whom I'd never met before) in town. He clearly didn't realise she hadn't told us at playgroup their news and was chatting happily about the fact they'd just been to Mothercare looking at cots and working out what they needed to buy for the new baby.

I was so happy for them that my suspicions were correct and opened my mouth to say something nice. What I wanted to say was "I'm delighted for you. Congratulations" but what came out was "I'm so glad you're pregnant and not just fat!"

Luckily they both laughed but I was mortified. I still see the family around as their children now go to the same school as mine - their younger one is now a happy healthy 5 year old.

StVincent · 05/02/2017 01:51

Oh OP, you've been the catalyst for some hilarity on here tonight at least.

"Boring Bob" and "bunch of cunts" stand out. Grin

Lucy7400 · 05/02/2017 02:22

"Lets go bitches" GrinGrin

AstrantiaMajor · 05/02/2017 08:35

After my lovely Dad's funeral, my mum told me we could have his car. It was an old banger but he loved it. The thought of just sitting in it and being close to him with all his work, tobacco and peppermint smells was a comforting thought.

Except when I told my ILs the words that came out were, "my mum said I can have my dad's car, so at least I got something out of it" I did not realise how I had phrased it until the horror on their faces permeated my brain.

What I was meaning to say was "at least I can go out in it and be close to him". It was too awkward to explain so I let it go. I guess that thought what a money grabbing cow.

dudsville · 05/02/2017 08:42

Op, your first post made me actually gasp out loud in horror for you!
I'll now go back and read the rest of the thread!

ninnypoo · 05/02/2017 08:44

I once was walking home from work when I bumped into a friend, who's grandma had died the day before and I knew was very upset about it.

She asked how work was and, being the melodramatic person I am, I sighed and said "Oh, I'm dead."

Then I saw the look on her face and ran away.

redcarbluecar · 05/02/2017 08:52

I think a note might make things worse; it sounds a bit cringey. I'd be tempted to let it blow over, or apologise verbally when you see her if she's obviously upset with you.

GoldTippedFeather · 05/02/2017 09:05

I think some of the people on here thrive on their righteous indignation. We have all had thoughts from time to time where we think why on earth did I think that. It doesn't mean you believe it or it's a deeply set belief inside you somewhere. Our inner monologue just happens to crash some ideas together from time to time. OP just had the misfortune of one of those thoughts leaking out.

OP I really feel for you, you are obviously mortified. I don't think an apology note is a terrible idea. It would make me chuckle anyway if I were Rebecca. And in case anyone accuses me of snobbery, we can't even afford a starter home (which is recognised terminology) where we live and live in a 1 bed flat.

Advicewouldbelovelyta · 05/02/2017 12:24

One of the issues with social anxiety or anxiety in general is the swarm of worst case scenarios that instantly whirl around in your head. Of course that sudden anxiousness can result in some of them falling out lol

Janey50 · 05/02/2017 16:31

Bambambini - how strange! Did you ever get an explanation for it?

firstdatesfear · 05/02/2017 19:08

I went to see friends after they'd had their very premature baby, he'd been born about a month previously and was tiny tiny still in hospital. It was Mother's Day and I said to his Mum 'Are you having a nice Mother's Day?' Which is when I panicked and followed by 'on, no, of course you're not, poor you'... felt like a right idiot, luckily they know me well enough to know I wasn't trying to be nasty- quite the opposite really. I was just being awkward.

I then introduced my oldest friend's wife (both female) as a friend of my friend. I wasn't trying to avoid calling her, her wife but when I first met her they were just friends, and I had no idea my friend was a lesbian as she didn't know herself initially, and then she didn't tell anyone for a while. SO how I met her was as a friend of my friend! I hope she knows I'm not at all ashamed of her or their relationship because it's quite the opposite, I'm incredibly proud of how brave she was to come out when her parents were very against it to begin with and she's not the most outgoing of people.

PollytheDolly · 05/02/2017 19:16

Just leave it and next time you see her, act normal..

No, wait GrinGrin

You fucked up, we all do! Next time I'd think of something dry to say about anything (not her) so she thinks it's just your sense of humour.

lukeymom · 05/02/2017 23:38

But I think you will actually being honest. You couldn't think of anything to say other than what you really thinking.