Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

[EssieTregowan]

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

Hang on, op is obviously mortified and so not up herself - did you miss the bit about social anxiety?

Just apologise next time you see her - a lot!

Go over and see her. Otherwise it will sit in your head and fester.

As soon as she opens the door, say,

"I can't believe what I just said. I'm so sorry. I can't explain it, but I just wanted you to know that."

Tricycle it's not "fucking horrible". It was something a very socially anxious person blurted out, with no intention whatsoever of causing harm or distress. The only reason it could be "fucking horrible" is if the OP did it on purpose to upset this person. And she obviously didn't.

Shit! I actually gasped OP.

I suffer with social issues and come out with crap too. I decided to make a joke to DS's teacher one day and marched up to him and rather aggressively told him I had a bone to pick with him. It came out totally wrong. He looked politely surprised whilst I tried to quickly backtrack. I've avoided him ever since but it's likely DS will have him as his teacher soon.

She will probably be thinking quite badly of you at the moment. You would make her feel a lot better if you went and explained, asap! Imagine being on the receiving end. You need to suck it up and apologise, now. Never mind how mortified you are.

You need to think of a way out of this: can you relate it to your comment being about no money in the birthday card etc, or the fact it was just a card and no present. Someone cleverer than me help!!!!

You have to swop houses with Rebecca.

oh dear. I genuinely think you should go over and see her to explain. I have similar verbal incontinence issues and something like that would prey on my mind.

Sorry OP but I found that hilarious!

NewtRipley whatever. I'm afraid I don't find anxiety an excuse here. Sorry for not going along with the "LOL, you!" consensus.

Thats the sort of thing Hyacinth Bucket would say without breaking a sweat op!

Did you tell her you also have a new Mercedes, sauna, swimming pool and room for a pony?

Fucking hell

Go with the Tourettes suggestion

Ok, I'm going to write a note.

'Oh my god I am actually dying at what came out of my mouth. No excuses but I don't know where that came from. I am a verbally incontinent idiot. Please forgive me.'

Does that sound ok?

Do you fancy her? Does she like you. If not why are you arsed. She is nothing to you.
If you get z chance just say you've got a drag sense of humour

Perfect.

I think you need to go over there now and apologise, unintentional or not it was a real crappy thing to say, and she probably feels quite upset.

OMG that's so funny OP!

I really wouldn't put a note through the door though.

I think it would be much better to try and catch her in the street face to face, and say something like "By the way, I'm really sorry for what I said the other day. I get awkward in these situations and end up blurting out nervous crap".

Or something like that.

But I don't think you could get the correct tone across in a note, so it might make an awkward situation much worse.

I reckon it's a "kicking bishop Brennan up the arse" situation - no one will possibly believe you'd have said that so she will think she either imagined it or misheard.

I make myself think through exactly what I'm going to say before I say it. Sometimes my brain is too occupied freaking out that I'm talking to a new person & words just come out of my mouth with no filter. Sometimes with no sentence structure, or even meaning! I've never yet run away without saying anything, I usually try to explain what I said despite often not having the faintest clue why I said it!

Sorry dry sense of humour.

My mouth runs away with me, i have learnt over the years to not do this but we all slip up now and again.
I would put a note through the door or better still stalk her a bit until you see her and wave and say hi etc and just take it from there. She might have been a bit offended, hard to say, have to see how she reacts next time you see her! ( if she runs off or starts hiding, then she is upset!)
She might even start her own AIBU thread!! ( i have upset so many people in the past saying things i dont mean too, so i feel your pain, i really do)

Don't write a note go over there.

WTF were you thinking?!

The tourettes solution made me snort out loud...in Costa ffs

sonyaya one of my all time Father Ted episodes