Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

[EssieTregowan]

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

firstdates I remember I said funeral instead of christening once. It was really awkward.
Still cringing now. Why did I remind myself!!!

Oh my God
I would want to. Well disappear I think.

RTFT has just bought back the most awful moment.
One of my closest friends son (also my DDS best friend from Nursery onwards. So families are incredibly close) was murdered (it was horrific obviously and somewhat took over life for everyone awaiting the capture of the perpetrator and the inevitable heartbreaking trial)
My friend and I were walking our dogs together and she happened to mention that he Wedding Anniversary was coming up and that is was a special one. It just came out. "Bloody hell you get less for murder."
Even typing that makes me want to vanish up my own arse and never come back.
We are still friends. How the fuck she ever forgave me I will never know.