To keep my part of the inheritance?

(168 Posts)
nearlyhadenough Tue 26-May-15 15:03:11

This is causing a bit of an issue - would like to hear opinions....

My parents divorced when I was about 7/8 as my dad had an affair. He went on to marry the other woman and have 2 children, who, as an only child previously, I was overjoyed to have!

We have all got on reasonably well over the 35 years that have passed. My dad died 3 months ago. One month later his dad (my grandad died).

My grandad left a will - my dads share is to be shared between myself, my brother and my sister.

My brother and sister think that the settlement should have been given to their mum (my stepmum) and they have stated that they will give any money to her - and have (without directly saying so) implied that I should follow suit.

I disagree with this - I see it as ; I lost my dad when I was 7/8 and as my mum struggled to keep us when he didn't pay maintenance (he had a second family to keep) that I missed out on many things that my brother and sister were given - horses, holidays, tutors etc., that this is now a small amount of money for me to use for something special.

Am I being unreasonable/selfish?

MerynFuckingTrant Tue 26-May-15 15:05:15

YANBU. If he left it to you it's yours to do what you like with.

gamingmum Tue 26-May-15 15:06:01

A will is there for a reason. Keep your inheritance and enjoy the last gift from your dad and grandad, let them think what they will

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 26-May-15 15:06:47

It's yours, don't back down.

AmandaTanen Tue 26-May-15 15:06:47

I wouldn't, wills are there for a reason, stating what the person wants done with their estate. Unless your step mother desperately needs the money I would keep my share and use it as I see fit.

flora717 Tue 26-May-15 15:06:52

No. It's not up to them what you do with your inheritance. Your grandad made provision for his grandchildren directly, very usual thing to do if you have no spouse and your children are secure.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Tue 26-May-15 15:06:55

They can do what they like with their portion, as can you with yours. Seems cut and dried. Don't be bullied into giving your rightful inheritance to their mother who has no relation to you!

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 26-May-15 15:07:06

Do you think their Mum, your Step-Mum, would leave you money in a will? I think it's unlikely, because you aren't her child. Your relationship is different to theirs. The inheritance is yours.

Is their DM struggling and are you?

SaucyJack Tue 26-May-15 15:07:09

Um, no. YANBU.

If they want to that's up to them, but you're under no obligation to give your inheritance away. Under any circumstances. Specially not to someone who isn't even related to you.

coconutpie Tue 26-May-15 15:07:41

Ummm, a big fat NO YANBU!!! Your brother, sister and stepmum are being selfish money grabbers trying to demand your inheritance (which is rightfully yours).

If they want to give their mother their inheritance then that's their decision. But to imply that you should do the same is bloody outrageous.

millyv Tue 26-May-15 15:07:44

Its your inheritance don't be bullied into giving it away!

PtolemysNeedle Tue 26-May-15 15:07:48

Of course you aren't being unreasonable. Your grandfather wanted to leave his money to hid grandchildren, not his son, and not his sons wife.

If your brother and sister want to give their mum their inheritance then that entirely up to them, but they have no right to decide what your grandfather should have put in his will.

honeyandfizz Tue 26-May-15 15:08:15

Not selfish at all, it was his will and he left the money to you not your stepmother. Let them do as they wish with their money but don't think about giving yours away.

flora717 Tue 26-May-15 15:08:43

Sorry. i mean if he didn't change it following the loss of his son. If he HAD changed it and this was a new will, then that was clearly what he wanted now.

CornChips Tue 26-May-15 15:09:15

What everyone else says.

Rosieliveson Tue 26-May-15 15:09:16

If it was left to you then it is for you. They can do whatever they like with their share but can't dictate what you do.
I'd say "That's a kind gesture from you. I won't be taking part though" you don't need to explain yourself.

bamboostalks Tue 26-May-15 15:09:39

Absolutely definitely not bu. do not give your stepmum a penny.

You'll get nothing from her estate I imagine.

midnightvelvet01 Tue 26-May-15 15:10:35

I'm sorry for your loss flowers

Unless your dad was very forgetful/phobic about making a will then there will be a reason why the inheritance didn't go to your stepmum.

What's the stepmum's point of view, has she said anything? (My dad has remarried recently in his late 60's & both him & his wife have kept their wills as they were before, so my dad's inheritance will come to us along & conversely when my stepmum dies all her inheritance will pass to her children.)

Maybe there's an arrangement that none of the children are aware of?

MrsBobDylan Tue 26-May-15 15:10:56

Yanbu.at all.Your father chose to leave you that money.If he had wanted it to go to his wife he would have made that explicit in his will.

Don't be pressured by your siblings.They are making a choice as to what they want to do with their share.You are free to make that same choice and spend it as you wish.

flowers for your loss.

kungfupannda Tue 26-May-15 15:11:35

So, let me get this straight. Your half-siblings want you to hand over your properly gifted inheritance from a blood relation, to a woman who is no relation to you, who didn't raise you, and who was the OW in your parents' divorce and the cause of you having a much less financially privileged upbringing?

She's already getting the rest of your grandfather's gift, although he quite clearly did not intend it to go to her, and they think she should get yours as well?

They are joking, right?

midnightvelvet01 Tue 26-May-15 15:12:15

Ah sorry it seems I misunderstood, I'm on the mobile app with patchy reception.

Ignore me OP sad

bamboostalks Tue 26-May-15 15:12:26

It could also be a rouse to con you. They get you to give the money up and then their mum returns their share after the dust settles.

MrsBobDylan Tue 26-May-15 15:13:14

Sorry, I see it's your grandfather's will, but same goes.It'sYOUR inheritance.

PeppermintCrayon Tue 26-May-15 15:13:34

What kungfu said!

kungfupannda Tue 26-May-15 15:13:34

Out of interest, did your dad leave you anything at all? Or did your stepmother get everything?

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