To keep my part of the inheritance?

[nearlyhadenough]

This is causing a bit of an issue - would like to hear opinions....

My parents divorced when I was about 7/8 as my dad had an affair. He went on to marry the other woman and have 2 children, who, as an only child previously, I was overjoyed to have!

We have all got on reasonably well over the 35 years that have passed. My dad died 3 months ago. One month later his dad (my grandad died).

My grandad left a will - my dads share is to be shared between myself, my brother and my sister.

My brother and sister think that the settlement should have been given to their mum (my stepmum) and they have stated that they will give any money to her - and have (without directly saying so) implied that I should follow suit.

I disagree with this - I see it as ; I lost my dad when I was 7/8 and as my mum struggled to keep us when he didn't pay maintenance (he had a second family to keep) that I missed out on many things that my brother and sister were given - horses, holidays, tutors etc., that this is now a small amount of money for me to use for something special.

Am I being unreasonable/selfish?

So you didn't even get some of your dad's estate? Then you should be telling them that the only person who should be looking for additional inheritance is YOU, not them!

OP's father's house is probably not in his estate as jointly owned with her step mum, without a will step mum gets all his personal possessions and the First 250k of any assets beyond the house, is second property cash savings shares etc, unless exceptionally wealthy probably not anything over 250k anyhow.

However even if OP's grandfather had not left a will, op would have got a 1/3 of her father's share, her step mum would not have got fathers share

Asgrandfathe had left a will, the fact that her father died first is irrelevant in terms of inheritance

OP is entitled to money which ever way you look at it, yes if grandfather had not left will and her father had inherited he could have chosen to leave it all to step mum,

Her grandfather specifically left money to his grandchildren

Not read the whole thread, but YANBU. Step-mother is no direct relation to your grandfather. That's why he left his estate to his grandchildren. So what if they want to give their inheritance to their mother? If you wanted to do the same you'd give yours to your mother or another relative of yours.

OP - please see a solicitor ASAP re your dad's will.

I work for a solicitors and recently we had a case where the father had died and the stepmother (don't think they were married though) was being very cagey about there being a will and what was happening re distribution of the father's estate. As a lay person I wasn't sure if she had a claim but my boss said yes… it is ongoing now. You need to be quick about that one though.

I just think even if a minimal estate just getting some brief facts from a solicitor would be a good idea.

To everyone else who doesn't have a will it is imperative you make one at whatever age especially if you own property or have savings. I've seen one bad intestate case in my firm (big estate though) and the stress and time involved is staggering.

WHAT!

Your father made no provision for you in his will!?

I'm flabbergasted.

You need to contact a solicitor and challange this. You are a daughter of this man and clearly entitled to some of his estate.

Please contact a solicitor and challange your father's will.

Keep the money your gf gave you, but your step family are really pulling a fast one over you about your late dad's estate.

Sorry for your losses btw.

Venus clam down! I think if you read back to page 4 her father didn't actually leave a will.

wherein it can get rather complicated. if there is no will to challenge then you can't challenge it (as far as I know) but if someone thinks (like my scenario above) that there 'may' be a will lying around that someone wants to keep hidden that is also another scenario. Sometimes letters etc are sort of proof when it comes to wishes but intestate cases as said before are tricky and also costly.

Am I right in assuming that your grabdfather's will left his estate to your father with the, quite usual, proviso that if your father predeceased him (as he unfortunately did) his share should be divided equally between his son's children (ie you and your half siblings?)

If so, I can see that your siblings obviously feel bad that had your father not recently died, he (and by extension) your step mother would've received the inheritance, not you and your siblings. Is she likely to be struggling financially following your father's death?

However, whilst they may wish to give up their share to their mother I can see absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to do the same.

I think you should actually sit down with her, and your half siblings, and discuss the matter like adults.

Do you know if she and your father had discussed what would happen once the survivor of them died? Would you be included in her will? If you all get on well this may be the case, although there is nothing to stop her changing her will now and leaving everything (which includes your father's estate) to her own children.

For example, I have a half brother, but even if our mother dies before my father (and her estate passes to him), my father's estate would still eventually be split equally between my half brother and I because he respects my mum's wishes and would never dream of going against them.

My dad has remarried recently in his late 60's & both him & his wife have kept their wills as they were before, so my dad's inheritance will come to us along & conversely when my stepmum dies all her inheritance will pass to her children

MidnightVelvet I may have misread, but if your father has not made a new will after his remarriage, his whole estate will go to his second wife? You will be effectively disinherited, as marriage invalidates a previous will. And if your father's second wife inherits all, then leaves all her estate (which includes your father's) to her children, you actually have no grounds for contesting her will. You have to contest your father's, and that is understandably quite distasteful to most people in this situation.

I've notice how many fathers can often be a bit careless about their wills, particularly after sloughing off a first family. It causes so much pain, but any child expressing that pain runs the risk of appearing to be greedy.

But 'family money' is far more about feelings & family dynamics, than the money.

I really feel for you OP - hope you can find a way to enjoy the memory of both your father and your grandfather.

There was no will and there has been no discussion about this.

OP you can contest this, as your father's daughter. But it could be expensive and understandably, feel wrong or distasteful.

So, their reasoning is, if the men had died in the opposite order, your dad would have had his dads money, and their mum would have had it when he died therefore, you should all pretend it happened that way?

How very demanding of them. Even if your dad had treated his children from both wives more equally, you would still be reasonable to go on with the reality of what has happened rather than pretending it happened differently.

surely if your father dies first and without a will, your grandfather would have been entitled to some of his son's estate too?

You sound v laidback OP - if pushing for your rightful share of your father's estate is going to cause family issues then I can see why you would stay quiet. But if keeping your rightful share of your grandfather's inheritance is already wrecking those relationships, then why not claim everything that is legally yours?

Thanks again - overwhelming responses!

I appreciate all of your comments. The house of my dad and stepmum was jointly owned so is not part of his estate - beyond personal possessions and nominal sums in bank accounts there is nothing to 'contest'. I have no issue with this - and I do fully agree that I will more than likely not appear in stepmums will and her estate will be split 50/50 between my brother and sister.

I now believe that I need to allow my brother and sister to do whatever they wish with their inheritance. I also need to do the same!

Thanks again, you have all been very helpful x

Saying the father died first and the GF money would have gone to him, and therefore onto SM is a false argument though.

The Will anticipated this and the money was divided between the 3 grandchildren instead. If he had wanted to do something else, he could have, but this is what he chose to do. It may be inconvenient to others, or not what they would have chosen to do, but it is what he chose to do.

midnight I came on to say exactly what upthechimney said. Your DDad needs to rewrite his will.

Equally DayLillie, the OP could argue that if her stepmum had died first then she would have got a third of the estate when her dad died.

Not sure where Midnightvelvet 's Dad is, but as a general point, in Scotland, re-marriage DOESN'T invalidate pre-existing wills.

Also, it is not possible to disinherit completely children (or spouse) in Scotland: I think it is something like "a third of all the moveable estate must be divided equally amongst the offspring and a third to the spouse or half to the children if there is no surviving spouse".