To keep my part of the inheritance?

[nearlyhadenough]

This is causing a bit of an issue - would like to hear opinions....

My parents divorced when I was about 7/8 as my dad had an affair. He went on to marry the other woman and have 2 children, who, as an only child previously, I was overjoyed to have!

We have all got on reasonably well over the 35 years that have passed. My dad died 3 months ago. One month later his dad (my grandad died).

My grandad left a will - my dads share is to be shared between myself, my brother and my sister.

My brother and sister think that the settlement should have been given to their mum (my stepmum) and they have stated that they will give any money to her - and have (without directly saying so) implied that I should follow suit.

I disagree with this - I see it as ; I lost my dad when I was 7/8 and as my mum struggled to keep us when he didn't pay maintenance (he had a second family to keep) that I missed out on many things that my brother and sister were given - horses, holidays, tutors etc., that this is now a small amount of money for me to use for something special.

Am I being unreasonable/selfish?

It is his choice who he wants his money to go to. I say respect it. I don't see why she should get it in these circumstances? If he wanted her to have it he could have stated this. Presumably she already has your dads money?

He has clearly given his money to his grandchildren. That should be respected. If she has any decency she will refuse the money anyway.

My step mother would not dream of taking the money in these circumstances. She would tell any kids to stop being so stupid!

It's yours. Ignore their hints. Don't back down! If they want to give it to their mother, that's their business. They have a helluva cheek.

Op YANBU. I can't see any reason why you should give the money your grandfather specifically left for you to your father's second wife.

Poor nearlyhadenough, it's a horrible enough shock to lose two important people in such a short period, but to be embroiled in inheritance wars really takes the biscuit. I guess by now you've heard the arrangements in your father's will? Has he left you anything?

Erm, what the hell?! Your grandfather left money to you. That was what he wanted. Your siblings are being beyond unreasonable!

They are being unreasonable. You are entitled to keep your share. Or say you'd prefer the lot to be given to your Mum, who was the one who went without.

YANBU. Your dad's wishes should be respected.

euphemia, that is exactly the question I was going to ask. There is an awful lot of reading into things here based on what might be nothing!

If your grandfather wanted his money to go to your step-mother he'd have put a clause in his will. For example everything in my will is left to DH, but if DH goes before me it is to be split 5 ways between all of the children including DS1 who is legally/technically my step-son. I knew that if I only mentioned DH and anything happened to both of us or him before me then any automatic division would not include DS1. Your grandfather would have known that should the bequest/share to your father fail because he passed away first it would go to the grandchildren.

Even if you were very close and sure your step-mother's will saw yo having an equal share with your half siblings I wouldn't feel obliged to share it. You have no idea what, if anything, your SM will have to leave. She could need care, she could spend or gamble it away etc. The fact that had your father been alive she'd have had access to your grandfather's money is just one of those things. Such is life.

YANBU

Although I don't entirely agree with your rational why, I think you need to have & keep the inheritance simply because that's what the will maker wanted.

I recently made a will & thought carefully about most eventualities & am cross at the idea that someone would think they could overrule it & decide what I wanted, I have stated clearly in my will what I want and that's that.

Different people, different needs, different choices. None of their business.

My husband did. His mum's money when she dies will be split between her other son and my 2 children. I got all my husband's money and would rather my children got it than me.

I don't understand why you are even asking. It's clearly yours and they are being grabby bastards. I would have laughed in their faces!

Do I really get to be the first to say: "are they on glue?!?"

Yes preem yes you do and very well articulated

I was more of the bollox to that thought pattern

Tell them to go blow a goat.

Cheeky sods!

They're being dickheads, its not up to them to tell you want to do with money left to you.

I think the OP should keep her money but slagging off stepsiblings is unfair, as I can see their point. If grandad dies first him money goes to the OP's dad. Then he dies, so all his money (including the money he inherited from his dad) would go to his wife (OP's stepmum.) I can see that her kids think she's lost out because dad and grandad died in the wrong order!

But if OP decides to give her share to stepmum, and stepmum dies next week, I bet a pound to a penny her will leaves everything to her own kids, and OP would get sweet FA. She'd then have to go cap in hand to stepsiblings asking for her third and I bet they would have a different attitude then. They'd be saying "her will is her will, it's what she wanted."

So, to sum up, fuck 'em. Keep grandad's money and enjoy.

^^ What TTWK says. All of it.

If you hand over what your GF left you then when your step mother dies I bet you would see as much of a share as your dad has given you all your life...

You GF clearly wanted you to have it not them.

PPs are fairly unanimous - and some of them really know what they are talking about. Simply repeat to your siblings " Sorry - it is in the will. It is what Grandad wanted" or similar. No need to justify.

OP how have they "implied (without directly saying so)" that you should give your money to their mum?