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AIBU?

To complain about cold and unfriendly teaching assistant?

273 replies

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:48

DD2 has just begun in reception at the school where my DD1 is. It is a lovely school...just gorgeous and everyone is happy with it.

However...there is a teaching assistant there who is so unfriendly as to appear hostile. She's in the reception class and she is one of those people who has a cold expression all the time.

Today I said "Hi...good morning!" to her as I left DD to go into the line up and she looked at me like I was a piece of shit. No exaggeration...she looked directly into my eyes and kept her face still with a cold expression.

It was quite upsetting to then watch my DD go in there...under her care...even partially! She's done this on another occasion but I put it down to maybe she was having a bad morning.

My question is this...should I give her one more chance to pick up her demeanor... keep being friendly....and if she carries on, then complain to the HT? or the teacher?

I just don't feel happy about it.

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Report

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:49

oh...there''s nothing unusual or stand out about me...I'm like all the other parents there! I look ordinary...we're a decent family...DD is well behaved...

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noblegiraffe · 20/09/2012 22:49

Is she any good at her job? That's the important thing.

Noqontrol · 20/09/2012 22:50

Give her a bit of a chance I'd say. Dd had a TA like this but she turned out to be really lovely, and great with the kids. I wasn't sure about her to start with either.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:51

I don't know giraffe it is early days yet...and DD is 4 and so can't really judge!

Noqontrol Why would she be like this though?

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BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:52

I mean...she's a teachers assistant! Surely they're meant to be well mannered!

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AgentProvocateur · 20/09/2012 22:52

I'm sure she got the job on merit - her demeanour doesn't really come in to it. If she's professional and capable in the classroom, surely that's all that matters. What exactly would you say to the head? Honestly - you'll be the laughing stock of the classroom if you complain.

TheCalmingManatee · 20/09/2012 22:52

Maybe reserve judgement and base it on how your DD likes school and her teachers? She just might be one of those stern types, but very motherly once shes on task. I'd watch and wait, so long as she is friendly and nice to your DD and your DD likes her, its all that matters.

mum4041 · 20/09/2012 22:53

You can't choose the staff yourself unfortunately. There are good ones and not so good ones. But the frostiest one we had was absolutely the best for bringing them on. She just didn't like to suck up to parents. Give it more time i'd say.

seeker · 20/09/2012 22:53

Does your dd like her?

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:53

Agent well surely her demeanor matter because people have to have faith in the people they entrust their child to!

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BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:54

I don't know seeker she's 4 and can't remember more than "I played....we had games outside. I didn't like my orange."

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scarletforya · 20/09/2012 22:55

I hate people like that. It's so bloody attention seeking. Why can't she just do the pleasantries and get on with it? YANBU.

Wouldn't you love to just ask her 'What's with the death stare?'....

Make no more effort with the horrible cah, that's what she (and people like her) wants. Everyone falling over themselves wondering if she will say hello today. ARGH! I say just blank her, she had her chance.

Rubirosa · 20/09/2012 22:56

Sorry, what's your complaint? That she's not nice enough to you?

Being lovely to parents isn't really in her job description, she needs to do a good job with the children/in the classroom. It's not about you.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:57

scarlet I think you're right! But I don't care...why should she play games when she's employed in a professional capacity?

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BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:58

Rubirosa no...that she's downright bad mannered and hostile! She is entrusted with MY child. I want some bloody respect and a hello or a smile...I give it....so should she.

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WorraLiberty · 20/09/2012 22:58

Oddly enough...and I say this as a 'school parent' of 17 years and rising....

In my experience, the teachers/assistants that the parents aren't generally keen on, turn out to be the absolute favourites of the kids?!

I don't quite know how or why...maybe they're just totally different when engaging with children rather than parents?

As long as your DD is happy I think that's all that matters. If you ever need a word about your child, you'd probably go to the teacher anyway, rather than the TA.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 22:59

what I mean is this...she is employed by an organisation...in a position which involves dealing with the public....she wouldn't get away with it in a shop! Or a hotel....why should she in a school?

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WofflingOn · 20/09/2012 22:59

So, you want to complain about her because you said hello and she looked at you and didn't smile?
I think you might need a little more substantial cause for complaint than that if the line manager is to consider it matter for a reprimand, you seem insecure and a bit needy. It is really about your DD not you.
Have a Nice Day.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 23:01

Woffling I want to complain because she is rude. She didn't speak to me when I greeted her...she heard me....she saw me smile...and she heard me speak and she gave me a death stare. I am not needy but I do worry about my child being all day with someone who appears either unbalanced or simply bad mannered.

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WofflingOn · 20/09/2012 23:02

You are entitled to complain, ask for a copy of the complaints procedure that every school has. You will then have another 7 years to establish a happy and smiley relationship with every member of staff, with them knowing that if they don't follow customer care guidelines, you will complain.

TheCalmingManatee · 20/09/2012 23:02

Do you usually take things so personally? you demand respect?

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 23:03

Woffling are you her? You sound like you revel in that kind of cheapness. Empty threats and the like.

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WofflingOn · 20/09/2012 23:03

Unbalanced because she didn't respond to you?

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 20/09/2012 23:04

Manatee I haven't taken it personally...I don't doubt that I am not the only one...I am sure she's a rude bugger to many people daily. My point is, why should she be that way when we're meant to have trust in her?

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MissAnnersley · 20/09/2012 23:04

I think you are misunderstanding the role of the TA. I also think you may be in danger of reading a little too much into this encounter.

Is your DD happy?
Does she go into school readily?

If so, you have nothing to complain about and much to be grateful for.

Flip

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