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presents received massively under budget wwud?

(185 Posts)
Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:06:54

When my sil and I had children it was decided that we would just buy for the dcs.

We agree a budget each year £30 this year and me and my dh spend that and dn ends up with a lovely present.

Bil has told us that they've bought my dd (age 2) a book from the works for £4.00 and that's all they're getting as they feel my dc has enough presents from other people.

I am massively tempted to split my DNs present into 2 and cover her bday as well do I do this or just be nice and hand over the bag of presents on Christmas morning to dn?

PberryT Mon 19-Dec-16 16:08:00

Split them.

If you have a limit then it's fair to stick to it (within reason, eg £25 gift would be fine).

IfartInYourGeneralDirection Mon 19-Dec-16 16:08:39

You don't give to receive in my house.
It would be petty to punish your niece because you don't think your sibling spent enough on your child

EggnoggAndMulledWine Mon 19-Dec-16 16:10:03

I'd be buying them back a similar priced present. You agreed a price to spend to make it fair. They can't suddenly just decide they feel your dd gets enough and she deserves a four quid book whilst you spend thirty on theirs!

Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:11:24

Ifart- I'm annoyed that they seem to be using it to make some sort of point about my dd having gifts.

BakeOffBiscuits Mon 19-Dec-16 16:11:49

I wouldn't split them, unless you're short of money.

It's not the child's fault her parents have gone back on what they said. You said you bought her a lovely present, enjoy giving it to her.

Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:13:51

We're not short and neither are they.

Waltermittythesequel Mon 19-Dec-16 16:13:59

I'd split them to keep things more even...

After all, I'm sure their child gets plenty of presents...

Upanddownroundandround Mon 19-Dec-16 16:14:20

Generally I would say don't punish the child for parent's shortcomings but if it was easy and straightforward then yes, absolutely split the gift. I can't see that upseting your DN unless she needed the parts of the gift at the same time.

It's very odd - do your BIL/SIL have any reason to say your DD has enough presents from other people? Is your side of the family much bigger than the other side of their family iyswim. However I don't really think that is particularly relevent or their business tbh.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection Mon 19-Dec-16 16:15:17

But you will be doing the same to your niece

BakeOffBiscuits Mon 19-Dec-16 16:15:24

I'm annoyed that they seem to be using it to make some sort of point about my dd having gifts"
I suppose it is bloody rude of them to say this to you, as if it has a thing to do with them!

But this year I wousl just give your DN you've bought. What you do next year may be different.

Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:15:26

To put it into perspective we've bought some pjs, a doll from the Disney store, a book and a game for dn it's not like if we split them she'll be going short

WankersHacksandThieves Mon 19-Dec-16 16:16:55

Was he joking? I'm sorry I think i'd have said something at the time such as "you better dig deeper in your pocket than that you miserly git" or just laughed and said "yeah, that's a good one, you almost had me believing you there".

GruffaloPants Mon 19-Dec-16 16:18:31

Split them. Half of that is still a generous present.

dementedpixie Mon 19-Dec-16 16:19:12

Yes I'd split it as you will have still spent a lot more than £4 on each item you have bought.

ChristmasCwtches Mon 19-Dec-16 16:19:19

Why on earth didn't your sister say anything when you both agreed on a budget? I would split the gifts without hesitation.

YouJustWouldntLetItLieWouldYa Mon 19-Dec-16 16:20:25

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Always be the bigger person, hand over your nieces gifts as usual and leave him looking and feeling like an idiot. Honestly, it will bring far more satisfaction.

Soubriquet Mon 19-Dec-16 16:20:38

Split em

My sister bought nothing for my DC last year.

I'm not holding my breath this year either

But I'm not going to punish her children for her actions.

As a compromise to myself,
I've spent half the budget. So £10 per present instead of £20

Sweets101 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:20:49

I'd split them, she'll still be getting lovely presents it's not like your suggesting giving her a potato to make a point.

Artandco Mon 19-Dec-16 16:21:18

WHen someone says £30 though o would assume £30 maximum not a target ie don't spend £100 on gift as too much but £5 gift fine

Dh and I usually do this. We say generally spend no more than £250 on Xmas for each other somone doesn't buy a diamond £££ and one a bar of chocolate only. But it's not a target. If one of us found something like a bag they would like for £100 that would be it, wouldn't keep buying to make it £250.

A book is fine. I do think you buying 4 gifts for one child is a lot regardless of price so would def save half for birthday. That's more main gifts than I buy own children

Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:22:19

Up and down- I'm nc with everyone in my family bar my sis in law (not this one she's dhs) so no my family size has nothing to do with it.

Mil/fil have spent the same on the girls and we do our own presenta at home on Xmas morning before going to mil.

We've had snipes that dd is spoilt before now and for her bday they sent her a game with bits missing that we later found out was their dds. My dd has her moments but generally she's a normal 2 year old that comes with the normal challenges

Artandco Mon 19-Dec-16 16:25:02

Oh and she's 2 years. She doesn't actually know it's Xmas.

WankersHacksandThieves Mon 19-Dec-16 16:25:24

WHen someone says £30 though o would assume £30 maximum not a target ie don't spend £100 on gift as too much but £5 gift fine


If I agreed £30 then I'd not spend less than £25 and would go up to £35. I'd be really dischuffed if someone then spent a fiver and I'm generally a generous person. In fact If I saw a great gift at £25 I'd get that and add in some sweets or whatever to get close to the £30, there is no way on earth I'd spend a fiver.

Nicpem1982 Mon 19-Dec-16 16:27:30

Art - I can assure you she knows it's Christmas 🎄

cookiefiend Mon 19-Dec-16 16:27:53

Split- DN won't know. I would give her one gift for each her birthday and Christmas and keep the others as gifts for other people or he de in future years. It sounds like her parents are bein snide about your child which would make me angry.

If they are giving a token gift it is fine for you to as well. DN won't 'suffer' she is still getting a gift, but you will feel better about it.

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