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I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

(565 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 19:58:58

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

OP’s posts: |
Biancadelrioisback Tue 23-Apr-19 20:00:05

What made you choose this field?

Fairylea Tue 23-Apr-19 20:01:23

Do you ever judge people, even though you’re not supposed to? I think I’d find it very hard to be impartial.

Echobelly Tue 23-Apr-19 20:02:40

What do you think is the biggest myth about experiencing an abortion?

NotSoThinLizzy Tue 23-Apr-19 20:03:01


GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:04:44

@Biancadelrioisback when I was a student I was placed on a ward which did a lot of them and I found it really interesting. I decided I wanted to persue it once I'd qualified. The delivery suite I worked at didn't give me any opportunity to do so so I looked elsewhere and found this job. I love supporting women, hopefully making a really shit day slightly less shit.

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DustOffYourHighestHopes Tue 23-Apr-19 20:04:51

Thank you thank you thank you to you and your colleagues. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

What you did was life changing for me, and the way you did it restored my faith in humanity and in myself.

BeeFarseer Tue 23-Apr-19 20:04:54

Thank you for the work you do.

I have had an abortion for medical reasons and the care from the midwives was exemplary.

Do you see a mixture of reasons (can't think of a better way of putting that!) from just not wanting to continue with a pregnancy, and women who need abortions for medical reasons?

Katterinaballerina Tue 23-Apr-19 20:05:59

No questions, just a big thank you thanks. Having lovely, capable, professionals around makes a difficult experience much more bearable.

JasperSIn Tue 23-Apr-19 20:06:13

How do you feel when you get the same women coming in over and over?

InceyWinceyette Tue 23-Apr-19 20:06:19

Thank you for what you do, OP.

Has your job made you think that a termination should be easier to arrange / guidelines and laws relaxed? Or made more restrictive?

stucknoue Tue 23-Apr-19 20:07:26

It's an area of medicine that don't get enough praise. I had a great midwife perform mine (she also delivered my dd 2 years prior) and her compassion meant a lot to me. Thank you and to all those working in this field

LemonInterceptor Tue 23-Apr-19 20:07:30

What is the latest term abortion you've been involved in the care of? (Hope that's the correct phrase.)

Soubriquet Tue 23-Apr-19 20:07:53

How to do you manage to support a woman who really doesn’t want an abortion, but a scan has shown a major defect and she has no choice?
Especially when it’s over 20 weeks

Do you ever go home and sometimes have a good cry?

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:08:05

@Fairylea generally definitely not. Definitely not in the normal ways. I don't feel judgement when women we've seen before come back, or anything like that.

I'd say I've been surprised how many women cheat on their partners. I don't think I judge them, they usually are having a really awful time at home or something. it's just, as a midwife you only experience the happy times and it never crossed my mind that some of the dads might not really be the dads.

Maybe the ones I struggle with are when people say "I'm very very anti abortion, there's no excuse for it. But in my case...."

OP’s posts: |
Thatsnotmyotter Tue 23-Apr-19 20:08:07

Do you work for someone like BPAS/Marie Stopes? What is the pay like? (Community midwife considering jumping ship)

LemonInterceptor Tue 23-Apr-19 20:08:23

Also, thank you for doing this job.

FuzzyLilac Tue 23-Apr-19 20:08:39

No question just wanted to say thank you.

It was a kind women like you who took very good care of me when I was alone and at my most vulnerable. flowers

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:08:47

@Echobelly probably the biggest myth is that is legal in England!

OP’s posts: |
GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:10:17

@BeeFarseer definitely a mixture of reasons. Massively! Mainly it's just the wrong time, but lots of medical reasons etc too. Plus the horrible ones occasionally (rape etc)

OP’s posts: |
GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:11:49

@JasperSIn depends who it is! Some of them I'm glad to see because they're lovely (like a regular in a pub I guess!). Usually I feel that I failed them last time in my contraceptive counselling. I don't get cross with them I don't think.

OP’s posts: |
GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:13:51

@InceyWinceyette Imo the law should be mega relaxed. I don't think there should be time limits, and I don't think women should HAVE to explain why or justify themselves. Obviously there would still be some regulation but there should always be the option for an abortion if its needed or wanted.

OP’s posts: |
LemonInterceptor Tue 23-Apr-19 20:15:18

Imo the law should be mega relaxed. I don't think there should be time limits, and I don't think women should HAVE to explain why or justify themselves. Obviously there would still be some regulation but there should always be the option for an abortion if its needed or wanted

Agree 100%

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:15:20

@LemonInterceptor we do right up to 24 weeks. I've been involved in that (not the procedure myself but the booking and consultation etc). As a student it was 34 weeks but it was for medical reasons and was really really hard.

OP’s posts: |
GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 20:17:01

@Soubriquet I definitely have had a good cry before. I try and be brave to women but I have definitely burst into tears in front of them before when they've talked to me about their reasons. Embarrassing.

OP’s posts: |

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