I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

Thanks for answering. Do you think later term abortion would be less common if it was easier to get an earlier one? Or are they so overwhelmingly for medical reasons that it would make no real difference? (I'm not against late term abortions at all btw, just curious!)

Thank you for all the thanks messages! It really means a lot. Honestly, I very regularly fall a little bit in love with the women I look after. Most days there's one woman who I feel I've really bonded with and I spend most of my days laughing with women (which I was very surprised about).

You are a good person.

@LemonInterceptor they're really so rare that I'm not sure if would make much of a difference. Most women I see are about 4-7 weeks. The ones I've seen where we've had to turn them away because they're over 24 weeks have been people who didn't know they were pregnant or where terrible things have happened in their lives which has changed their circumstances.

@Sizeofalentil not too sure about that. I'm a right cow sometimes!

I had an abortion last year and the nurse was extremely harsh and matronly, until she found out I had PTSD from giving birth the first time and she was super kind.

Also the second nurse I saw was just so friendly and gentle with me it actually healed a lot of wounds.

So Thankyou for doing this job and for treating very scared vulnerable women who never ever expected to be in the situation they are in.

@SailorJerry13 I'm sorry she started off being harsh. That's not cool at all, I'd be annoyed if my colleagues were like that i don't think there's a place for it where we work. Also sorry you've got ptsd and then had to go through that. Glad it was overall a reasonable experience.

When you see the foetus sat next in the bucket do you ever get overwhelmed or do you treat it like any other body bits?

You say rules should be relaxed, and it sounds like you have a lot of compassion in your job. You said you don't think there should be a time limit, does that mean you would welcome an abortion right up to full term?

@AtSea1979 it's definitely overwhelming sometimes. Also, doing the later scans sometimes is tough. When I first started in the job I was worried I'd made a terrible mistake and wasn't sure if I'd be able to cope. The first scan I ever did was in 20 week twins.

But it's not about me, I try and concentrate on the woman and what this means to her. I definitely don't think of them as body bits, I'd treat them all with respect.

I’m confused now, I thought we had abortion up to full term in England?!

@yesyesyep yes definitely, I don't think there should be a limit. Its very very rare that women ask but it's always a very compelling reason. The women who I've met in the situations of it had been up to me they'd have been able to have treatment.

For example... (some details changed for obvious reasons). One woman was in a horrible abusive relationship, he'd come to every appointment with her so she'd never been able to ask anyone for help. She was petrified that he was going to kill her.

Another, a woman in a happy relationship found out at 33 weeks her husband had been sexually abusing her 12 year old son.

@JasperSIn we have it in exceptional circumstances but it's very very rare that 2 drs would agree to it. Most hospitals don't really do much abortion so they refer women to charities like Marie stopes or bpas, and they can't do over 24 weeks.

Hi OP!

I've just got a job as a client care co-originator for BPAS. Not sure if you have them where you work?

I'm being given full training. I can then help women make decisions, giving informed info and a type of 'counselling'. I can also check blood results, swabs, etc.

I'm hoping to go to uni to train as a midwife next year. Do you think my job at BPAS will help my application?

I'm currently doing my Access course and my mentor has said not to mention working for BPAS whilst interviewing for midwifery, in case anyone thinks I'm out to get rid of wanted pregnancies with a hidden agenda

Is anything about the fetus ever noted anywhere when it's a surgical abortion?
I think you're wonderful people and from experience some of the kindest, empathetic nurses I've ever met.

@hoponby what the hell! Who the fuck would do that?? Definitely definitely mention it. It shows that you can work with women and support them. If the uni discount you because of it then they must be a shit uni...! Pm me if you like. X

@NicksWife08 not exactly sure what you mean. Do you mean sex etc? No, we wouldn't do that, though sometimes they may be sent for testing on certain circumstances. It's documented that it's complete etc.

Do you openly tell people what you do?
I have considered working in this field (also a midwife) but whenever I've mentioned it in conversation people look horrified. I've looked after women having TOP for medical reasons and feel I made a positive difference to those families.

Do all abortion clinics insist that you have a scan before going ahead?

(I've been told Marie Stopes do)

@Waitingforinspo it's so hard! When I first got the job I was open about it and so excited but then I lost a good friend over it because she was disgusted about it and suddenly started posted loads of anti choice stuff all over fb. She was absolutely vile. To be honest, in my little pro choice bubble I hadn't thought that people i liked would have such different opinions to me.

Now, I normally either say I'm a midwife or that I work in sexual health. Often that's enough but then people do ask more and more questions and I have to come clean.

How old was the oldest patient?

My mums best friends sisters cousin blah blah- fell naturally pregnant at 54. She thought she had ovarian cancer symptoms and was granted a termination as she had some health issues and there was no way she wanted any more children (2 very grown up sons). She was on a very slow menopause and believed she was infertile. I think the odds are in the millions of falling, but she did. She was fine at the time but we think she was / is affected by it many years on.

@Spideryplant yes, it's absolutely vital because we need to 1. Know that the client is pregnant and 2. That the pregnancy isn't ectopic or there's any reason they wouldn't be suitable for treatment. We don't normally show people the scan though or tell them much info unless they want to see. We're very descreet (i hope).

@LucyInTheSkyy hmmmm. I'm sure I've seen women in their 50s. Definitely loads in their 40s. Much more over 40s than under 20s!

Thank you