I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

@Waitingforinspo yes and no. Very much miss it but do not miss the politics of the NHS. Which makes me so so sad.

[Rachael204]

Have you heard of people getting ptsd after a termination ?

I had a dreadful experience nearly 20 years ago - took a failed surgical and then a failed medical attempt before the 2nd medical attempt was successful at terminating the pregnancy.

[IntoValhalla]

Thank you for all you do OP - it sounds like you and people like you make what is an extremely difficult time in any woman’s life that little tiny bit less scary.
I have a family member who is staunchly Catholic, pro-life (ahem....anti-choice) and posts anti-choice shite on Facebook on the regular. I politely pointed out that making abortion illegal will not prevent abortion, it will just take us back to decades ago when coat-hanger abortions and drain-cleaner martinis were common place, and women died. She actually tried to tell me that those women deserved to die for killing their babies
Do you have to deal with people like this regularly? Protesters near your place of work? Hate mail online etc? If so, how do you deal with that?
And how does your place of work deal with it? Is it a case of just ignoring them?

[CrackersDontMatter]

@nevertol I went with a friend when she was requesting an abortion. She was given an internal examination. This was in 2001. So perhaps not unusual for the time. When I became pregnant 3 years later, I expected the same but the first internal I had was a sweep at 40 weeks so I assume policy must have changed in that time.

Fascinating and really informative thread @GlitteryPoopooplop, thank you.

[florence11]

Just another person saying thank you to you @GlitteryPoopooplop

I had an abortion nearly six years ago. The lady who scanned me was lovely. I don't really remember anybody else. When asked if I wanted to see the screen I said no. At the end she asked if I wanted a print out, and I wasn't sure. She said she could fold them up and put them in an envelope and then I could decide later. I have since looked and am glad I have them, as weird as it is. Like I said, I am six years down the line now, as well as a chemical pregnancy and am starting fertility treatment. Weirdly, those scans bring me some sense of comfort. Like you say, things stay with people.

A Maya Angelou quote comes to mind:

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel'

[Blossom28]

I’m so shocked that you think a woman having an abortion when that baby could survive outside the womb is ok! I feel saddened by the thought that anyone could think it would be right to do such a thing for any reason except serious health concerns.

[IntoValhalla]

I’m shocked that there are still people who believe they have a right to an opinion on what another woman does with her own uterus

[LittleMissHappy19]

OP said at any gestation for any reason, so a woman coming in at 38 weeks just about to give birth and changes her mind is ok?! A fully developed baby?!

I'm shocked posters think this is ok?!

[Blossom28]

@IntoValhalla so you think an abortion at 38 weeks would be ok?

[IntoValhalla]

Blossom I think that it would have to be absolutely hideous circumstances for anyone to have to contemplate that decision at such a late gestation. I refuse to believe that there is a single person who just wakes up one day at 38 weeks pregnant and just thinks “Don’t really fancy having a baby anymore. I’ll go get an abortion”
It’s not my place to tell anyone what they can and can’t do with their own body. Yes, the idea of aborting a 38 weeks baby makes me very uncomfortable (my DC1 was born at 38+1), I also understand that if someone is in that position, there must be absolutely dire circumstances that have led them there. And pro-life vitriol doesn’t help in any way, shape or form. See my post upthread: I have an aunt who has extreme pro-life views and isn’t afraid of sharing them. She disgusts me. I think it’s an incredible ignorant and closed minded way of thinking, that has no place in a modern, civilised society.

[user1457017537]

It is murder and I cannot believe a medical professional would be prepared to carry out a 36 week abortion of a healthy baby for whatever reason the “mother” may have.

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

@IntoValhalla absolutely! You summed up my thoughts exactly. I'm very proud and firm in my opinions about this and won't change my mind. Likewise, I wouldn't expect to change anyone else's minds.

[TrumpsFerret]

Op this is for being one of the good ones. I was treated with utter contempt when it happened to me. Just awful. They particularly enjoyed showing me my empty uterus while I cried.

I used a support website at the time as I had no afterthought or partner to help. I wonder if it is still up and running, those women kept me sane.

[TrumpsFerret]

Aftercare, I mean.

[LittleMissHappy19]

@IntoValhalla nobody has said that abortions are wrong.

We are questioning that somebody thinks it's perfectly fine for a woman to come into a clinic for what ever reason she wants and 'abort ' a healthy, fully developed baby that could be about to come out naturally at any minute?!


There are people out there desperate for children, loving wonderful people that just can't have babies, through no fault of their own.

And you would rather see a fully developed die, because the mother wants that?! instead of the poor baby being adopted by someone else, if the mother has decided she doesn't want it anymore?!

[Blossom28]

But, my point is there is a cut off time for a reason. It’s not just about the mother, the baby has to be considered too. I have no strong views on abortion per se, but the idea of not having a cut off date is really awful. And the idea of women becoming ‘regulars’ at an abortion clinic is really sad, more needs to be done for these women.

[Katterinaballerina]

Where would you draw the line the Blossom28 and
LittleMissHappy19? How many weeks?

[user1457017537]

Unbelievable that you would be prepared to abort a healthy baby at 38 weeks. How on Earth can you justify your position.

[IntoValhalla]

And you would rather see a fully developed die, because the mother wants that?! instead of the poor baby being adopted by someone else, if the mother has decided she doesn't want it anymore?!

Look at foster care and adoption figures. There are hundreds of thousands of children in the care system without a hope in hell of being adopted.
Are pro-lifers or the “I’m pro-choice BUT...” people are going to start adopting those unwanted babies in droves? I highly doubt it.
And yes, I’m interested to know too. Where would you set the limit then? How many weeks do you see as acceptable to abort?

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

@Blossom28 lots is done. We try to support women as best we can. But what if they can't take any contraceptive? Condoms aren't always fail safe. People are regulars. I can think of 3 I know who are regulars because their partners are controlling /abusive so they can't have contraception in case it's found. The men get them pregnant on purpose, the women then have to sneak away and have an abortion without the man knowing. Do you think they should have to keep their babies?

[IntoValhalla]

It’s not just about the mother, the baby has to be considered too.

According to the law, an unborn baby has no legal rights whatsoever until it is born. So actually yes - from a legal standpoint it is all about the mother.

[Blossom28]

Maybe the law says that @IntoValhalla but surely you can’t believe it would be ok to abort a baby who could survive without the mother. And I understand women have complex reasons for needing abortions, but by the time that unborn baby is fully developed, In my Opinion aborting it is wrong. I don’t need to change anyone’s opinion, I’ve just never heard anyone say there shouldn’t be a time limit before, so it has really surprised me that people feel this way.

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

@Blossom28 I know lots and lots of people who think it. But I do move in circles where its discussed frequently. When you've had to ruin someone's life by saying they have to give birth, your viewpoint changes. I've been worried that women will leave my clinic and jump off a bridge before. Genuinely.

[thislido]

I don’t think there should be a time limit. If you draw the line in terms of when it would survive outside the womb then you’re working from the principle that a baby that could theoretically survive has rights which override the rights of the woman carrying it. Which is exactly the argument made in countries where women are imprisoned for ‘endangering the life of a foetus’, which could include doing anything that is potentially risky. Essentially with that principle you turn women into incubators, because their rights would be trumped by the rights of an unborn child.

I think if someone comes to the very troubling and distressing decision to abort a baby late term then we can trust there’s sufficient reason for it. I also think it would happen extremely rarely.

[LittleMissHappy19]

I think the law as it stands now is ok.

Yes and in regards to your statement that an unborn baby has no legal rights, maybe that is why the abortion cut off time is at 24 weeks.

To give babies legal rights.

You honestly think that a mother should be able to have an abortion and make the decision to kill a baby at 38 weeks, when that same surgeon could be performing a c section and pulling out a beautiful baby, breathing on its own, crying, cooing, that very same day?!

God I'm so so glad that I'm not in the minority here! I'm obviously not, otherwise the law would be a lot different!!