i'll get flamed but why are stay home mothers so smug?

[wombleprincess]

this is not a thread about the pros and cons of working/not working, i just wonder if anyone finds that stay at home mothers are really smug about the choice they've made? or is it just my experience? cant they just live and let live? I dont judge them, but they seem to be very judgemental about working mothers.

anyway, a friday topic for anyone at work trying to get through the day perhaps!!

@ vixma. If only!

Handlemecarefully - now's your chance to tell the world what you do all day!

funny really coz im jealous of wohm's.
i wish i had a job, or the potential for a job worth leaving the house for.
id love to have a thing im good at, i get respect for, and paid for, that stretches my mind and gets me out and about and meeting people and generally less stagnant.
i think it would make me a better mother and a happier role model.
course, it would need to be v flexible and part time and all that...

I cannot be bothered to read the whole thread but I am a SAHM at the moment (very pleased with my decision must I say), and a couple of weeks ago I went for a meal with some friends, one of them brought along a friend of hers.

This lady sat next to me, we were having a very nice chat about politics (she is american so lots to discuss), about where we come from (I am foreign), etc. Then she started telling me about her job, which was interesting. We had a few jokes, I was starting to think that I had make a new friend as she seemed so nice. She then proceeded to ask me "what do you do?", I kid you not, as soon as I told her "I am not working at the moment I decided to take a few years off to be with my kids", SHE LOTS INTEREST IN ME COMPLETELY. Within a few minutes she asked the lady infront of us what she did and started talking to her about her job and forgot all about me.

It is the first time something like this has happened to me, but there are some working mums out there that just don't understand why some of us choose to stay with our kids.

i haven't had the time to read alal this - but i am a stay at home mum.

Bit harsh to generalise about everyone - instead of judging yourself maybe you should consider that the a huge number of sahm's actually can not afford to go back to work!

i go to work 1-2 evenings' and at weekends, so that i do not have to pay for childcare as my hourly wage would no way cover childcare - therefore it would not be worth my while working and puting our kids in daycare.

However, i love being at home with our kids and having fun with them - but we've had to make big adjustments living on mostly one wage - is that anything to be smug about??

What irritates me is that people make the judgement that we must be loaded because i don't work full time, couldn't be further from the truth! we just don't live beyond our means, dont' go on flash holidays, pay anyone to do DIY about the house etc.

So don't make judgements that sahm's are smug, until you know the facts!

thumbwitch you are never going to be able to get a flock of owls to lift a camel off the ground. It just isn't going to happen. They simply will not be party to such nonsense.

Camels are heavy buggers too.

she sounds a bit rude tinysocks. still each to their own an all that. her loss. maybe she just doesnt know how to make smalltalk about anything but jobs? like i say, her loss eh.

owls are pretty tough little things tho, to be fair...

what about if the camel had just run out of its 3 week store of water in its hump? bound to be a lot lighter then...

TinySocks - that must have been very hurtful. She sounds like someone who is only interesting in talking to anyone who can be of use to her in a social networking sense. How horrible.

BloodySmartarse - I feel your pain. I often feel like that and am planning my escape! Have you made any decisions yet?

you could really unnerve them, or smugify them, thereby getting them to release their spit ball and further lighten the load.

We could consider drafting in eagle owls. Maybe even a brown owl with a jet pack.

((Tinysocks)) - have been there too. It reflects badly on her, not you.

Now. Do you think that little owls are in fact an oxymoron and have more power and strength than we credit them with?

Bloodysmartarse, I went on an owl lecture once and was told that owls are actually pretty dim and utter weaklings. They have hollow bones. The whole 'wise as an owl' thing is a terrible lie we have all been conned into believing. (I blame AA Milne).

And camels do not have water in their humps, they have fat in their humps.
[I read educational signs at the zoo].

I reckon that even a weight watcher camel would not be able to be lifted by a specially trained team of anabolic steriod infused owls.

Tinysocks, I've been there too. What a very rude woman.

Now you could get a synchronised pack of goats to pull a camel along on a specially crafted chariot. Maybe with flaming wheels. Now that would be an impressive visual specatcle.

hmm, well wherever the water is stored they can go for 3 weeks without water, and then stored up enough in one go to last another 3 weeks. so catch them just before they stock up and theyre bound to be significantly lighter, non?

as for owls, they dont have to be smart (olw in hundred acre wood was actually pretty daft iirc), just strong, mean and tenacious. qualities that will get an owl far in life i reckon...

now, to the tune of the wonderpets...; whats going to work? TEEEEEAMwork... (and that rocket pack bramble mentions - good one B)

There is a potential problem. I am a little concerned that as soon as the floodlights go on for the opening ceremony, the owls will think it's daytime and will go to sleep.

Unless we blindfold them or use diurnal owls.

actually, that might be the solution to the noisy shagging owls in the woods opposite Do you think we could get planning permission for floodlights and connect it to the leccy supply at the village hall?

pah, goats are stoooopid. theyd go in 10 different directions. would be kind of fun to watch, with a pint of cider in hand, i grant you that.

(i am backing the owls coz ive bonded with a family of them living in one of 'my' trees here at home btw. my owls rock)

liking the goats idea, but thinking it'd be like my experience of attempting to teach 30 reception children country dancing. The resultant dance paths resembled brownian motion.

Strong, mean and tenacious blinfolded owls, cider swilling goats, dehydrated camels...

Now I know we have to produce something completely different to Beijing's opening ceremony, but I'm just not visualising how the majestic parade of the smug animals is going to seriously impress a world wide audience of millions.

bramble, I like our local noisy owls. You just leave them be. It's those bastard screechy cats that wind me up

just wait until the foxes get started.

unnerving

what, with the screeching? boy can foxes screech. i think we ought to drug them really.

"A few other questions for Xenia:

1. Do you make any allowances for mothers of adopted children, those with special needs or chronic health problems?"

Of course but not mothers, parents although I know tons of working parents with nannies of children with special needs. The potential US VP is a woman with a down's child.

"2) Should mothers who fit in some paid work around their children's timetable feel inferior to those who work full time but superior to those who do no paid work?"

All people are equal so inferior is the wrong word. Plenty of them are - they're the ones who didn't have the competence to hack it in the office so they copped out to become housewives, cleaners and servants of their men in effect entirely economically dependent on them and at the mercy of male power, more fool them.

"3) Do you disapprove of interbreeding between public and private sector employees since a high ranking public sector employee will still earn considerably less than, for example, a City lawyer. If the parents cannot possibly contribute 50:50 to the household income because of this disparity, should they refrain from reproduction?"

Women will find their position easier if they marry men who ear about the same or less but they never really go after those men because they're evolutionarily devised to fight for the best male provider.

The OP seems a little judgemental about SAHM mums - but I guess that's already been said.

lilolil - don't be jealous. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors or what peoples' real circumstances are. Those who are so smug are often not as infinitely happy as they seem! Smugness and looking down on people might be a reflection of their own insecurity?

tinysocks, another one who's been there. Tis horrid.

Not read whole thread but I am a SAHM and not smug but am happy ith my choice (as I was when I worked) and feel liberated rather than oppressed and dependant. I find the people who judge the most are the very career minded mothers (And there aren't many I know, most work around their kids or p/t or have to work for the money), but I really don't care if they see me as a little housewife or dumb or whatever. As long as I and family are happy with the choice, that is all I care about. Why should I just copy them doing what they have chosen? Life is too short.