Did you chose to take a lower grade job to protect your mental and physical health?

[AlwaysAFaithful]

I’m in a managerial position within a very high needs team - I’ve worked in lots of different places over the years and I have never encountered such a lot of difficult dynamics, people doing their own thing rather than pulling together. I have tried really hard to make things better but it’s been at a personal cost. I am finding it difficult to leave - I’ve never been defeated by a job before. I think this stubbornness is costing my health.

Have you been in a similar situation and made a move to protect your wellbeing? Could you share a bit about how it went for you? I need a sense of how much better life can be. I’m thinking of applying for something at a lower level just to give myself a chance to regroup. Thanks in advance for any responses.

I’m following as in a similar position and would also appreciate the advice. My health has really deteriorated.

Really sorry to hear that. Are you feeling like you can say a bit about it? Understand if u can’t

As you are the manager can you start the process of replacing the troublesome team members?

I would have a chat with your line manager and then HR about restructuring your team if there is an attitude problem and they can't work together.

If your manager is not supportive then I would start looking for something else as your physical and mental health are more important than a job.

I’m in that process just now but finding every stage of it difficult and there are limited resources so I’m carrying a lot. I really wanted to get it sorted from a personal pride point of view.

Yes, I did this. It has taken me seven years to get my earnings back to where they were (which allowing for inflation is obviously still much lower) but I don’t regret a thing.

i dont think personally i could do that
the less responsibility and boredom would give me stress,
unless it was a complete change of job

My DH did this for his MH and wellbeing. Same organisation, similar job, lower grade. I was very proud of him. Absolutely zero regrets.

The challenge is anyone taking you on, too many people are insecure or will see you as over qualified for a lower job, even if you really committed to doing that. That in turn isn't good for your confidence or mental health as it's so demoralising.
I totally understand wanting to sort where you are, and maybe short term focus on that as the reward at the end. Work on culture and attitude over skills in the team.
Don't be hard on yourself you have recognised the need to change, that will take massive weight off you shoulders for now, having verbalised it to us.
At the same time look for an alternative at the level you are, or above it. Look up and forward, not back. That will be the best option for your MH.

That’s one of the things that has kept me in the post - the enjoyment of dealing with challenge but it’s tipped too far. I know some of this is about ego and feeling like taking a reduced responsibility and pay in a different workplace will feel like I’ve failed. And as I’m typing this I think I’ve got to the crux - I think I leaving in this way will make me feel a failure even though rationally I know that’s not the case.

I’m finding everyone’s posts so helpful. Thank you ❤️

I’ve been in a very similar position a few years ago and had a thread about it on here that got a lot of responses- you may be able to find it.

In the end I stuck it out for just under 2 years so as to protect my CV- I wasn’t prepared to trash my CV for one terrible job. I was counting down the weeks! I made a sideways move into a job with a similar title but a lot less stress and slightly smaller remit after 2 years and am now starting to move up again. It was less money and less seniority than I was capable of but it gave me the breather I needed. I have found it a lovely pause and highly frustrating all in one but glad I did it, it was the right thing for the long term.

Moving to a similar grade job in a different organisation can make all the difference, it’s the role it’s not your ability!

Yes, left clinical work behind and now work in a social role supporting people with issues affecting their lives. I’m not consigned to 10min appointments any longer and I absolutely love my job. Three days a week, less pay but I feel great.

I was in same position earlier this year with addition of toxic unsupportive manager. Ended up off with stress convinced I'd completely lost all my abilities. The short version is that I realised I needed to get out pronto even with nothing to go to. Could have coped for a year just off husband earnings if necessary. But the realisation spurred me on and I'm now doing fractional roles, earning less but in control of it and better respected than I was in previous role. And NO people management responsibilities! Do it, you only live once.

Your health is more important than money every time. Whatever you choose to do. make your wellbeing the priority. It is a strength, not a weakness, to realise that a job is not good for you.

Thank you everyone. I keep reminding myself that life is short.

I think I will make a plan for leaving which doesn’t involve me doing everything, but means I do a really good handover. It might take a few months but it gives me something to work towards with a positive personal outcome hopefully.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to do a managerial job, so I’ve never done one. I would hate the stress and responsibilities. I do a job where you need a degree, or two, and I work mainly on my own. It suits me perfectly.

Not exactly the same but similar. It was my first management role and there was so much dead wood within the team. HR were next to useless in providing any guidance or support. Some people did leave, but then I was stuck doing the job of 3 people whilst trying to recruit to replace them. I felt burnt out and stressed much of the time.

I lasted a few years before the company restructured yet again and my role became redundant. I returned to a temp role I'd done years previously. The pay was much less, but the flexibility and lack of stress was brilliant. That was 10yrs ago. I've since moved up the ladder again, but not to the same pay I was on years ago-enough to pay the bills and be ok though. My work/life balance is much better and I don't have anywhere near the stress I did back then.

yes - a lot of similarities here. My main thing is that I have inherited years of engrained workplace culture and practice. It’s been exhausting

If you move to a lower grade you will soon notice all the things that can be improved/should operate differently. Maybe not at first, but you will when you know the role. And you will then probably be powerless to change anything, because it won’t be your job to approve and implement systems and strategies anymore. It’s literally “not your place.”

You’ll just have to go along with whatever you’re told to do by more senior staff, even if you strongly disagree with it for good reasons. And that can be VERY frustrating.

Don’t underestimate how stressful frustration can be at work. When you see every day how things should be done differently but you don’t have the power to be listened to. Instead you’ll just be seen as moaning or negative.

if you can unlearn things or you can let things go it may work.

But you can also learn to let things go in a more senior role, and be paid much better for it!

also, it sounds like your situation now is just a “difficult people” issue. But you get that everywhere, in every workplace. Even if you think you work with the dream team all it takes is a change like organisational restructuring, new policies being forced upon you all, someone retiring or/going on maternity etc and immediately the change can have an impact on now the team works and on staff morale.

if you’ve tried to improve things and don’t feel things have changed then maybe it’s flogging a dead horse and you just need to make a sideways move somewhere else, another team or organisation rather than looking for a grade lower. Eventually though, there will be another change that will impact team dynamics that will be outside your control. At that point you can decide to move on again. Or wait for th problem people to move on themselves and see how it goes.

perhaps you need to approach from a different angle, if they are rigid.
play to their strengths
let them manage themselves to some extent.
detach yourself
look after yourself outside of work somehow

I left a full time job that required me to work 8.30 to 11.30 pm at least three times a week. I left after my boss called me late Friday to help her with an issue when I was already due to work Sat and Sun because of a major corporate event.

I simply couldn’t do it any more and I left without a plan. My husband was supportive and financially it was ok. (This is the key factor.)!

It worked well for me since a couple of months later they got in touch and asked me to come back to do a maternity cover for someone more senior - so I got a significant pay rise! That led in turn to another senior role. After a couple of years I lost that job, as the job market is so bad I took the first thing that came up and am very happy in a less pressured role with no team that allows me to spend more time with my kids.

A lot depends on where you are in your career - you could just change jobs at the same level and it might be better somewhere else.

I took a lower level job after maternity so I could work 4 days a week- it was a disaster. I sat on the desk doing donkey work while my boss and mat cover went off to the meetings I used to attend. However looking back if my boss had managed it better and not (maybe unintentionally?) made me feel so humiliated it may have worked.

Taking a step down and less money can be hard - especially in your 30s or early 40s rather than your 50s by which time you care less - so I’d try another role at the same level first. Previously I’d have said leave and look for a role but the job market is really, really tough currently so maybe take sick leave for a month rather than do that.

I have. No regrets.

i think i was in my mid 30s when i took a lower role, it was really tough, i ended up reducing my hours so i didnt have to be there for too long, that was a temporary position which was the only bonus!

i am 60 now, so perhaps i would care less, or perhaps i would just be more vocal in my dissatisfaction than i was in my 30s.

do you have anyone to talk to at work op regarding the pressure?