Did you chose to take a lower grade job to protect your mental and physical health?

[AlwaysAFaithful]

I’m in a managerial position within a very high needs team - I’ve worked in lots of different places over the years and I have never encountered such a lot of difficult dynamics, people doing their own thing rather than pulling together. I have tried really hard to make things better but it’s been at a personal cost. I am finding it difficult to leave - I’ve never been defeated by a job before. I think this stubbornness is costing my health.

Have you been in a similar situation and made a move to protect your wellbeing? Could you share a bit about how it went for you? I need a sense of how much better life can be. I’m thinking of applying for something at a lower level just to give myself a chance to regroup. Thanks in advance for any responses.

Yes, I used to be a primary teacher for 20+ years, and subject leader, and towards the end of that time was feeling overwhelmed by the increased amount of data inputting, felt like I spent more time putting pupil progress data into spreadsheets than I did teaching. I spent most of my evenings and weekends doing school work. I had a bullying headteacher who made all of us feel inadequate (and actively tried to bully out any staff over 40 to replace us with younger, cheaper, more pliable staff - over 18 months the entire staff left.)

For the last 9 years I've worked as a HLTA or cover teacher, covering class teachers' PPA in several schools. I teach the same children every week so it's not like being a supply teacher. I get the pleasure of teaching but I don't do any of the after-school meetings, parents' evenings, pupil progress data, report writing, lesson observations, etc, etc. I leave at 3.30pm and don't stay late at school marking. I don't do any school work at weekends. I get paid much less than I did as a class teacher, but it's totally worth it. I'm lucky to have a paid-off mortgage and be OK financially.

I have been asked several times when vacancies arise in my schools if I'd be interested in going back to class teaching - the answer is no!!!

I left a very demanding London role with great pay having worked in the industry for 20 years. I took a role that only required 6 hours a day - paid much less than half what I was earning - but not an ounce of stress which was so much more valuable to me than a higher wage. I’ve been in this ‘no stress’ role for 10 years now and I’ve never regretted leaving or having less money.

You don’t have to take something lower paid or less senior if it’s the current place that’s toxic - the same role elsewhere wouldn’t be like this.

What you describe is what my manager is currently experiencing. New(ish) to the role, and inherited a poor team culture and dynamics which have worsened. There’s nothing they can really do to improve things as some of it is so deeply ingrained. I started shortly before they did, along with a couple of other colleagues, and we’re all looking to move elsewhere. We see them exhausting themselves trying to get things right but there’s some ‘main characters’ within the team hierarchy that control too much.

It’s probably not you so be encouraged please. Every day I want to say this to my manager! It’s not failing to walk away from something so inherently toxic, not everything can be fixed. If it’s taken years to get this bad, it’ll take a long time to set right.

Not a move in the same sense as you describe but I did take a promotion which came with a 12 month probationary period. According to my colleagues and management, I did a great job and secured the role permanently but I declined their offer. My mental health in that year had taken a huge tumble due to the job. I was waking all hours writing e-mails in my head, worrying over meetings and generally falling apart. I ended up in therapy and medicated, the move back to a lower stress role has been immeasurable for me.
Listen to your heart and your head, they will both have good advice but I suspect you'll follow your heart x

I have been in my new position for 6 weeks now. Since leaving I have quit drinking, snacking and smoking. And it's been easy. Yes, easy! I am also sleeping well at night and I have no anxiety at all. So would I recommend leaving a toxic, stressful job? You bet!

I think that’s what I’m needing to hear - I am anticipating leaving in February to give me plenty of time to wrap a few things up and have everything in order as much as I can. I told my husband tonight- he’s v supportive of whatever I choose. I think planning to leave is already helping me think through priorities.

thanks again all ❤️❤️

Yes - financially it cost me significantly. But 10 years on and it was the right decision. Health and wellbeing come first.

Similar to you, been in my new role 5 weeks having left a very toxic and unsupportive one. The lack of anxiety has been life changing! I'm really pleased for you 😊

Thank you and the same to you. There is no salary that could make me go back to a job that has that affect on me ever again. Health is wealth as they say! And yes, you are right - life changing it is!

I’ve done it twice.

I was very fortunate that I could afford to drop down to lower paid roles because there was no way I could have carried on like I was.

Your physical and mental health is so, so much more important than any job.

Every employee is replaceable so don’t kill yourself for a job that will continue to go on long after you’ve left.