Giving up work / going part-time in a new career – did you regret it or best thing ever?!
Hi! Keen to hear people’s experiences of giving up work or changing to a job with fewer hours – and whether you are glad you did it or came to regret it.
A bit of background: I am 46, my husband is 48 and our kids are still fairly small – 5 and 7. We both work demanding full-time jobs (me in TV, him in finance) and I think the juggle feels harder than ever. Extra-curricular stuff for the kids, work, house, life admin – it all feels exhausting and like I can never give anything 100%.
By the time we get home from work, our kids only have a short amount of our time and we tend to be tired and irritable, and stressed by all the constant rushing and juggling. Then at weekends we just feel done in by the end of it! It doesn't feel like we are getting much quality time with the kids (and basically none as a couple), and school holidays are of course tricky. My social life is limited too – seeing friends is pretty infrequent. My parents are also now in their early 80s but I feel like I never get to spend any proper time with them as when the kids are around they dominate our attention.
My husband has recently taken on a new job which is a fantastic opportunity and could, if it goes the way we hope, financially set us up for life. This was a joint family decision, but we agreed it on the understanding that he would be working harder, so I would have more to do at home in terms of school pick-ups/drop-offs and general admin - my job has greater flexibility. I was doing more of this anyway – house, holidays, playdates, etc - but will be doing so much more now. My husband has always been very supportive of me and my career, so the issue here isn't about inequality or me trying to get him to do more.
What I'm trying to work out is whether, if his job goes the way we think it will, I should quit my job in order to make our life feel less stressful – more time with the kids, less rushing day-to-day, and not trying to squeeze all the life admin in around the edges of a full-time job.
The problem is that I really like my job. I feel very lucky to have it in a highly competitive industry, particularly as it was a career pivot I made five years ago and I had to work really hard to break into the industry. My boss is a woman and has kids so there's never a problem having time off for school plays, parents' evening etc. My worry is that if I quit, in a couple of years when the kids are older and things get a bit easier, I might regret it and end up sitting at home wondering what to do with myself!
The other alternative would be retraining as a PT and working part-time, so I wouldn't be completely stepping away from work. I love fitness and the gym, so that feels like a natural fit – but obviously it would be a completely different career.
I'd really love to hear from people who have been in a similar position.
If you gave up work or went part-time when your children were young, how did you feel about it a few years later? Did it make family life significantly less stressful? Did you feel your children genuinely benefited from having you around more? And, perhaps most importantly, did you ever regret stepping back from your career?
Equally, if you chose to keep working full-time despite finding the juggle really difficult, I'd love to hear how you feel about that decision now.
All opinions welcome – thank you!