Didn’t get the job. I know the person who did. Help me get over the disappointment.

[IndigoBlueMauve]

So my boss is leaving and I got an interview for his job. My interview was okay but not brilliant. I’m just not very good at interviews. I wasn’t expecting to have gotten it after my performance but you always hope. To be honest, I thought they would pick the other internal candidate and while I wouldn’t have been thrilled to miss out, they’re alright and seem like a good manager.

Apparently an external candidate came in and “smashed it”. Unfortunately, it’s someone I know. I previously worked alongside them. I know that they’re great at interviews. Must be as they change jobs every couple of years.

I also know they’re considerably better at interviews than they are in role. When I worked alongside them doing pretty much the same job at the same place (not where we work now) they delivered way less and took much longer to do it. Don’t get me wrong they’re competent but, well, that’s it. I also know ex-colleagues we both worked with rate me and the work I delivered much more highly.

So I’m feeling pretty peeved right about now. How do I handle my disappointment with not getting the job - and more particularly my disappointment at who did? They’re going to be my manager. Advice welcome.

And yes, I want to stay at the company, at least for the time being.

I agree - think it’s time for that pp to take it higher in their situation.

op you’re coming across as hugely bitter and resentful. I’m honestly not sure how much you can hide that in the workplace. It maybe better for you to find another job, as I’m not sure this can work out for you.

If they are a job hopper and you want a good shot at that role when they leave, raise it in your annual performance planning. Say you'd like experience at higher level and would be very interested acting in their role eg when they take leave.

Organisational loyalty plays against you, as silly as that sounds. I had to leave a place I worked at for 16 years so I could progress. I did a sideways move. Within 6 months I was acting at the level I wanted. Within 18 months, I'm in the position I wanted. Never would have happened at the old place.

If you want to do well in a shorter time and get paid more you dont have any choice but to job hop.

Yes, id rather not move jobs, but my last new job took me from 60 to 85.

In previous roles when I have been promoted internally there are limits on pay rise. Ive normally been told 10%

I was in a corporate role, and paid at the lowest of the band. Got a new boss and she got me promoted as working at that level - pay was at the bottom of the next band as I was "new to role"

It’s gone higher (several times) but this person is like a cat with 9 lives and manages to manipulate and deflect and blame other people. Now claiming they are being bullied and it’s aggravated a medical condition they have so ‘special treatment’. It’s very hard to work with and genuine complaints now get brushed off due to this. Sadly we have lost two very good workers because of her and several colleagues are looking elsewhere including me. This person has applied for higher grade jobs but has a shit reputation so no one will take them on therefore we are stuck in a toxic environment. Not to correct their work/decisions will mean possible harm to others.

But in an interview, that’s exactly what you have to do. Even if you’re not that type of person in real life, in an interview you have to do exactly that, tell them all the amazing reasons why you’re the best person for that job.
just let the new manager get on with it. Don’t cover for them, don’t pick up their missed work etc. just do everything exactly you’re meant to do, and if they’re rubbish they’ll soon get found out.

Ah I know one of these - it’s incredible how convincing they can be. I feel for you, and I hope either someone finally listens or you find somewhere better 💖

Exactly this! Just see how it pans out. The job might be yours in a couple more years!

Then you will struggle to get a new job. Refusing to engage in the interview process adequately or viewing it with disdain is going to always see you fail.

and as for those who job hop to get ahead and your disdain for them, why on earth shouldn’t they, you’re clearly ambitious, to the extent you’re sitting consumed with envy and resentment they got it and not you, if you’d done the same, job hopped to get experience, engaged fully in the interview process, it may have been you.

you can hate the game, but hating the player is ludicrous

It’s not really surprising looking back - I was busy doing all the work they should’ve been doing!

Why??

Why do people do this? Its annoying for everyone when people martyr themselves like this. "Oh I have to do it, or it wont get done" - its not your bloody job to do it, do your own job (better as if you are split between someone else's job youre not doing yours properly)

Let it fall, fail whatever its not your job.

Huge sympathies @IndigoBlueMauve I’ve been there too. I was actually doing the job on a short term contract and applied for the permanent post and didn’t get it,
even though I had huge support from the team, although probably not from my line manager who was a very lazy man who liked to offload the not so nice jobs to me and regularly was not available for some reason or another. The new person went off on maternity within about 5 months.

It did all work out well in the end; I found a similar job with a lovely team much closer to home and was very happy there, some years down the line I saw both the LM and the new person (who was very pleasant) and realised I would have struggled continuing to work with him.

You might like this:
It always makes me laugh!

I totally agree OP. Interviews are a rubbish way of selecting people. Bullshitters will always prevail. We took on someone who did a fantastic interview, but he was terrible at the job and we had to terminate him at the end of his probationary period. Conversely we gave a chance to someone who didn’t do a good interview at all, he was very shy and lacking in confidence, and he’s turned out to be great and has really blossomed in the role. Problem is, I don’t know how else you’d select people.

This is what annoys me about interviews. They already know you, but invent this process to judge you in a completely abnormal and pressurised hour long (or whatever) fake situation, against people they don't know.

So they will either base their judgment on that tiny scenario, ignoring their own proper assessment of you built up over time, or they will ignore the interview in which case why bother?

If there is genuinely no internal candidate suitable for a role then fair enough, interview for it. But if there are internal applicants interested and worth interviewing then just appoint them to avoid this kind of trauma. On an interim basis maybe.

Sometimes interview processes get bogged down in competencies or styles of questions. And you do get people who seem to know how to promote themselves.
You also get organisations that can be very inward looking and never ever promote anyone from outside. What they are frightened of I do not know, but that happens too.
And you are right interviewing can sometimes get it wrong. But it is the best method by far of selecting someone for the challenges of the job.
My one wish always was that attitude was listed as a competency or a key element that should have been tested. Attitude to colleagues, to others in the team, managers, the public, clients, whatever. But it never was sadly. That as a competency to me would have been priceless.

I would always ask for interview questions in advance in the future. I’m no good at interviews where I have to think on my feet but I’m very good if I can prepare in advance. I think about all the things I have done well in my career and make sure I cover those in my answers. Hope things work out ok OP

I’m getting that vibe too. Salty and entitled.

I’d give OP some grace. It’s likely just happened – not weeks and weeks or months ago. We all take some time to come down from big disappointment and we don’t snap straight into an ideal demeanour and mindset.

She’s here to process her negative feelings so she can work towards moving on – that’s what she says she wants to do and that’s a positive goal. But she’s not going to turn it around from a few hours on Mumsnet.

In that case roles would always go to internal candidates no matter if there was someone better qualified than them else where. You'd never be able to move company, or get experience in other areas.
Say you wanted to moved job because you've moved house, you'd only see any form of vacancies where there wasn't a single vaguely competent person at that level or the levels below.

People staying at one work place forever is sometimes not a good thing

There are plenty of roles without any suitable internal candidates, so this wouldn't be the case at all.

Completely agree with this. Interviews are about selling yourself. If you refuse to play the game, you'll always lose out to someone who does.

Op Ive got no idea if its applicable to your interview but I recently declined an internal candidate at interview lets call her sandra. All of Sandra's answers were based on her current role, vs what she would be doing in the step up. Really common mistake for people stepping into management is talking about how you would do it, vs how you would manage a team to do it. I know she's ok at her current job, but she struggled to prove she could do the next step up where sometimes things like speaking the lingo is important because all of a sudden you'll be the person reporting back, representing the team.

Sandra also walked in like the job was hers, and it wasn't particularly clear that she had done any interview prep, read the relevant documents or put effort in. She skipped key points in answers (probably assuming we would know what she meant, or assume) eg when talking through processes. When talking about her experience she name dropped it, and didnt explicitly link how it would help her. She didnt mention that she worked at the company in a similar role before.

I cant mark what you dont tell me.

Some of her answers were perhaps out of humbleness. Eg im going to massively downplay my role in a group project etc.

However when compared to someone with less experience, who was well prepped, who was able to clearly talk about their skills, there was no way we could hire her.

Hmm im not sure I believe this in any large scale company. Take a thing like an nhs ward for example employing a band 6, you would have all the other band 6's and every experienced 5 in the hospital.

That would be the same in any big role like a office, bank etc

You'd never be able to get into bigger companies if they had to give the benefit of the doubt to every other internal candidate before advertising outwards, especially if thats including those in lower roles looking to step up (as in this case).

I don't see how youd be able to move from Sainsbury's to tescos as an existing manager if they couldn't put out an advert until they had offered it to every suitable tesco employee in that branch first.

Most management positions are in a triangle with more people below them than roles above.

I would focus on applying for new jobs and leaving as soon as you can.

When I was in this situation, not only was the new person who came in completely incompetent, they also bullied me horrifically.

I ended up leaving, but not before taking out a grievance against the person which I won and was well compensated for.

The company then asked my now old boss to leave 3 months after I did, when it finally dawned on them who’d been doing all the work. X number of years later the company is a basket case and on the brink of being taken over in a firesale 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

This sounds incredibly tough. I’ve been in a similar situation with a terrible bullying boss and I have so much sympathy for you. I really hope things improve soon. Having a terrible manager has such a huge impact on your wellbeing. 🌺

See I’m not sure about this either, plenty of people feel they are both capable and entitled to the job, every workplace is littered with them, the reality is often they are not, the new job requires different skills. And often knowing you can mean they know you are simply not going to be as capable as they wish.

you can’t just automatically give every job to an internal candidate, and never hire new blood,

You can get better at interviews by practicing, learning and research. This has to be your goal. Use this last interview as a starting point. What went well? What went wrong? How could things have gone better?

Don’t give up on your ambitions. Other opportunities will come up. Good luck.