Mansplanied

[Mimmi78]

I have been told by my boss to apologise for saying to an external colleague, “thanks for mansplaining to me”

Yesterday was a busy day, lots on, I work in busy financial services role, interact with lots of external stakeholders at other company. The interaction was,
me - hi can I have this thing
him - no because of this, then, tacked on end a full explanation of how thing works.
for context 27 years in my industry, know how thing works. Explanation not required. I should just have said it in my head but my skirt pocket was fresh outta Fs to give.

Boss sympathetic but just wants it to go away, demands written apology, let’s get to it ladies, help me write the best apology for this one.

External colleague should have laughed and apologised to you!!…’sorry, I’d forgotten you’ve got 27 years of experience’
Did you get the thing?

‘I do apologise for suggesting that you mansplained X to me. Very unfair of me, when you so patently aren’t much of a man’

I am sincerely sorry for having spoken aloud and upsetting you. It was not my intention and I shall endeavour never to repeat said behaviour at any point in the future

I'm sorry you were offended by my use of the word 'mansplained'. I had assumed you would know that I fully understand how x works after 25+ years in the business. My mistake, sorry.

Erm, I think I’d be asking for the apology.

Keep em coming ladies

@AutumnSpring79 you really need to start your own thread.

Chat would be a good place for it as there's a bit more traffic than the school topics.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat

Does this man know you didnt need an explanation?

On the face of it Id say an apology is pretty reasonable tbh unless the man has form for being an arse but even then there was a more professional way of dealing with this imo.

I work in financial services in London, this was a straw breaking moment tbh. It happens all the time. That and assuming I am the junior colleague etc I’d had a day of it. I totally agree though, it should have been a story in pub to my work group not a snap e mail back!

Thank you - sorry posted in the wrong section 🫣

I would just say ‘I’m sorry, my comments about you mansplaining were rude. I sincerely apologise for my behaviour.’

I wish to apologise for my inappropriate use of the word mansplaining. I understand that it would not be obvious to a real man that a mere woman with only 20+ years of experience in the industry would know how things work.
I am suitably chastened and from now on will keep to my place at the kitchen sink, apron firmly tied.
I am also sorry that your manhood is so much smaller than your ego, but I cannot be held responsible for that.

We've all been there. I had to listen to a random at a client giving me tips on presenting, they didnt know delivering training sessions/presentations is a huge part of my role. Just had to "mmmhmm" at them through gritted teeth 🙄

Tell your boss that this person was patronising and condescending, and was explaining your own job to you, which he would not have done had you been male. Tell him that you are sick of being treated like an office junior by this person and that no apology will be forthcoming because you have nothing to apologise for.

Hi

Boss has suggested that my comment to you about mansplaining may have been slightly out of order and that I should apologise.

Best

Mimmi

Gemini suggested response

Please accept my formal apology for my remark yesterday. It was uncharitable of me to label your explanation as "mansplaining."
I see now that you were merely being exceptionally thorough, and I should have been more grateful for the opportunity to revisit the basics of a field I have only been practicing in for nearly three decades. I will make every effort to ensure that my future responses reflect the appropriate level of "instruction" you feel is necessary for our conversations.

Or

Please accept my sincerest apologies for my recent comment regarding your explanation. After 27 years in this industry, I clearly made the mistake of assuming we were on the same page regarding standard operational procedures.
I now realize that by providing such an exhaustive and comprehensive breakdown of the basics, you were simply ensuring that no detail—however elementary—was left behind. It was remiss of me to characterize your thoroughness with such a pointed term. In the future, I will endeavor to receive your detailed tutorials with the silent patience they deserve, regardless of my own tenure or familiarity with the subject matter.

Sorry to hear you were upset when I mentioned you were mansplaining. If I can help with anything else please let me know.

Reasons - It's a breezy message, also you haven't actually said you are sorry for mansplaining you only imply it, you also offer to help him (which the company can't complain about, but which is a bit of a 2-edged sword - like you're saying he needs the help, but also you're being helpful, so they can't complain).

This wins 🤣

It was rude and inappropriate but you know that. If you emailed rather than said it that is a shame because it is hard evidence you were using sexist terms. Apologise profusely even if it is through gritted teeth. Don’t make it any worse

Some of these are so good!

To be fair it's just as likely that he sent your email into chatgpt and pasted the response back again. AI must charge by the word given how "thorough" it's responses are. I lose the will to live when I have to read through someone else's message that is actually from AI.

I think an AI response would be fitting but your reply depends mostly on whether you want a good relationship with him afterwards!

Second version is brilliant!!

I’m really sorry that I hurt your feelings with my mansplaining comment. There really is no excuse for judging an experienced colleague based on their sex. To do so is offensive, sexist and derogatory.

Regards

I am sorry if you were hurt by my use of the word 'mansplaining' . No offence intended. It just means that you were telling me things I already know from my 27 years experience.