Mansplanied

[Mimmi78]

I have been told by my boss to apologise for saying to an external colleague, “thanks for mansplaining to me”

Yesterday was a busy day, lots on, I work in busy financial services role, interact with lots of external stakeholders at other company. The interaction was,
me - hi can I have this thing
him - no because of this, then, tacked on end a full explanation of how thing works.
for context 27 years in my industry, know how thing works. Explanation not required. I should just have said it in my head but my skirt pocket was fresh outta Fs to give.

Boss sympathetic but just wants it to go away, demands written apology, let’s get to it ladies, help me write the best apology for this one.

PuppyMonkey
Hi
Boss has suggested that my comment to you about mansplaining may have been slightly out of order and that I should apologise.
Best
Mimmi

This one works so well!!!

I’m sorry that you were offended by my use of the word mansplaining. I should have just told you not to teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

The old politicians favourite?

'I called you a mansplainer it is true and for that I am deeply sorry. And you may parse this sentence any way you choose'

I think I’d go with ‘Apologies if you found the use of ‘mansplained’ inappropriate. It was a shorthand way of trying to save you time in explaining rudimentary details.’

When people in general explain stuff to me like I’m an idiot I cut them short by saying ‘Yes, I’m aware.’ If they carry on I repeat it. Usually works.

This

Why has your comment ended up with your boss asking you to apologise? Has the man complained? That seems a bit precious.

I think you should make a ‘sincere’ and fulsome apology.

Then spend the next of forever mansplaining to him at every opportunity.

A precedent has been set. If you follow this through thoroughly enough, he will lose his rag and have to make an apology to you in due course.

I have said before 'I prefer if you use words of one syllable please'.

Anyway OP- he should be apologising to you. And to run to the boss when you pointed out he was being a dick shows this person either has a very fragile ego or he's just a wanker. (Actually- probably both)

This was a client of the OP’s employer. Even if a colleague, a bit of a twatty thing to say, but a client? Yeah, not good.

Not a client, we work together as separate business to deliver a product to clients. I am the paid advise, they have the product

So were they explaining more about their product?

He complained to the most senior person in his business, who complained to most senior one in mine and it trickled down back to me….. I have apologised, very formally, but will likely use another product supplier in future as I can get product plenty of places and earn same for my business. I think a mutual apology would be nice but I won’t get it from this person.

No literally telling me how our industry works and the product is sold!!!

"I apologise for using the term "mansplained", what I meant to say was that, after 27 years in this industry, I'm fully aware of how it works so found your input very unhelpful. I'm sure that once you have 27 years under your belt you, too, would find it annoying that somebody else assumes you are incapable of knowing what the job is all about. Apologies again."

Really? Is about as sexist as calling a woman "hysterical". Call out the behaviour, yes, but calling it mansplaining in a professional context just sounds cheap.

Agreed
but we are outliers

I am sorry I hurt your feelings, this is obviously a very sensitive and triggering topic for you. I now understand I will need to communicate more gently with you going forward.

Surely the difference is that women are not as a rule hysterical so it's a misnomer, whereas many men do mansplain so it's an accurate term?

I can recall the odd occasion of someone patronising me by explaining something I patently know more about than them. But it’s been a mix of men and women. And happened, well, very very infrequently. Thankfully

I'm in the same industry as OP, and it happens to me and other senior experienced women a lot.

I’m in London in insurance. A professional. 45

Hi Mansplainer

I understand you were offended by my comment about mansplaining.

I was also offended that you gave me what seemed like a lecture on something that with 27 years experience in this industry,.didn’t need explaining to me.

I appreciate you may not have meant to be condescending, just as I didn’t intend to belittle you by my comment.

These things don’t always come across as they should in emails, so I thought I’d set the record straight then we can both draw a line under it and reset.

kind regards

I'm in London in Financial Services. 52. It happens to me and other women I speak to a lot.

The good news is that male colleagues do tend to notice now when it happens to their female colleagues, and they don't think much of it.

I wonder if the mansplainers realise they are damaging their own credibility.

Can you just submit a very obviously chat gpt generated one

I guess just different experiences

Yet it is still sexist and an unprofessional term to use.