Graduate daughter still looking for work.

[Bluelagoon02]

Hello Mums.

Few months ago I opened up about my daughter’s job situation. She graduated July 2024 but hasn’t been able to secure anything yet. At first she was very much trying to find a job in line with her studies. But as time moved on it became obvious she needed to lower her expectations so she applied to just anything UK based and abroad, mainly Spain and Italy. She managed to get through several job interviews but her shyness and lack of experience landed her to nothing. Lots of rejections that if you are lucky to hear back from companies or recruiters. I was genuine very scared when I originally wrote my very first post on this forum. Now I feel literally petrified to lose her. Every morning I go to her room fearing the worse. She lost contact with most of her Uni friends who had moved on. Her bf has some serious family issues so my daughter is pretty much on her own apart from us.
What do you suggest I should do ? What can I do ? I fear for her mental and physical health. It’s just so sad to see her going through this given what she had achieved not just academically but on a personal level too. She tried so hard, now she just burnt out staring into space. This isn’t healthy !
Applications after applications with very little response let alone feedbacks. Maybe you are a Mum like me who is struggling to keep her adult child alive. Maybe you lived the same situation and can offer advice. I would love to hear from anybody who can help. Thank you

Your poor daughter doesn't sound at all well, is she getting any mental health support or been to her GP. If she is well enough maybe suggest some volunteering as a start. I would focus on the simple things like making sure she is eating, getting out for a walk, maybe doing a craft activity if that is something she would enjoy.The world is not an easy place for young people at the moment, you sound like a lovely caring mum.

Sorry if this is something you've already thought of, but could she do some voluntary work while she looks for a job? It might lead to new friendships and would add experience to her CV.

Also, has she tried signing up with any temping agencies?

Fingers crossed for her in her job hunt

I'm so sorry, OP, it sounds incredibly difficult.

It sounds like addressing the mental health challenges and building her confidence might need to take priority over looking for a job right now. Get her to take the pressure off herself for a bit? Volunteering is a really good call, it will help her to build her skills and confidence etc.

Can you tell us a bit more about what she is interested in/what she would ideally like to do? Some of us might have ideas of things she could do that might be relevant.

Not sure the GP can help but agree she needs to address these problems to a doctor before it gets worse. She lost her will to live. Her appetite has totally gone. The world is deffo a pretty horrible place for our young generations.

Signed up to lots of agencies. Lots of empty promises which often leads to nothing. No voluntary work yet but considered many times.
I suppose that when you studied for four years solid the idea of not earning at all (even little) it’s truly disappointing.

What types of roles has she been applying for?
The job market is so difficult at the moment.
I recruit graduates now for basic admin roles well below what they set out for I think but it gets them in a role where they build their confidence.
Sounds like she’s in a cycle now as her lack of confidence will be coming across to recruiters if she reaches interview stage.
I would say apply for anything that will build her confidence and get her out.
Bar job perhaps ?

She studied International business administration with Spanish. She can speaks three languages and was hoping to get into marketing. Not such luck. She likes animals so working in an animal shelters would be her dream volunteering job. Sadly there are none near by so getting to one of them would be financially expensive.

It doesn’t sound as though she’s in the right mental state to be looking for work atm. It’s possible that employers are detecting that something is off about her mental health, and so she’s getting rejections, which are in turn making it worse. If you can afford to support her, maybe she needs a break from job hunting for a little while, while you address the mental health. If you have the money, maybe take her away on a holiday somewhere.

I would definitely say voluntary work. I've seen it build many a person back up, including me! Start small, as committing to too many hours and then not being able to do it and feeling like you've let people down will cause a step back rather than a step forwards. Also, anything outdoors would be a mood booster. And whilst thinking about that, if she's been staying indoors a lot, her vitamin D could be low which will make her mood worse. So get the GP to check that and thyroid just in case her low mood and lack of appetite has a physical cause. Once those have been ruled out, she can self-refer in most areas for talking therapy which might be a good idea. At her age I thought what defined us was the job we did, so when I didn't end up working in the field I trained for I was very depressed. I had to learn a different way to value myself.

It’s so hard atm, I really feel for graduates facing this.

Start with small steps. I'd advise her to get any job, be it part time and requiring no qualifications. Getting into a routine of getting up and going to work will help her. I'd suggest trying to work in an environment with other young people her age - pub, warehouse etc. She may feel that type of work is beneath her but on her CV it will show reliability, working in teams, dealing with the public etc.
Never underestimate the effect of earning your own money. One other thing I would do is get her interested in fitness or going to the gym. Maybe start a class together under the pretence of you wanting to get fit.

Another suggestion that may help is that often there's community based activities but you have to know where to look for them. In my area there's wellbeing walks, litter picking, invasive plants bashing, talks at libraries etc. It may be easier to start on a one day event so she doesn't have to commit to too much all at once.

Have a look on your local Facebook groups and pages. Nature reserves pages and signs at the entrance advertising events. Wildlife Trusts often have events especially in summer, find your local one and check out their website / social media. Our local shop, tesco, library, (and even chip shop!) has a community notice board.

Would she get herself a TEFL qualification and go and spend a few years teaching abroad? Japan? South America?

https://www.kingstrust.org.uk/

My DD found a job via what was then The Prince's, Trust, Op

Is there anyone she knows whose dog could do with an extra walk a day? Paid or unpaid? Or do you have a dog yourself? Getting out of the house will help and if she can do it as part of a 'job' or routine could give her some purpose. If she loves animals then this could be a good way to give her some responsibility without the need for much human interaction/talking if she is very self conscious.

Incidentally a friend of mine did something similar and turned it into a nice little business, dog sitting and dog walking.

If she can speak multiple languages has she thought about applying to some of the big international contact centre companies? They often help with visas, flights, accommodation and can be very good at pastoral care (almost like for Uni students) as these roles appeal to young people who want to travel. Wages are not amazing, but maybe 6 months or a year living in Athens, Barcelona or Lisbon with other young people in a similar position might give her a boost (and some nice weather) and maybe open up some opportunities. I can send some company names if you want.

Speaking 3 languages including Spanish means she could look for jobs geared for people fluent in several languages.

https://www.workingnomads.com/remote-spanish-jobs

I don't know what her third language is, but my family member completely failed out of his uni course, partially COVID and partially mental health challenges. He's a fluent English speaker with an eastern European language too and started teaching conversational English remotely online. As a result of that he now travels between the two countries helping to run language trips with young people and loves it.

Another idea, depending on language. My sil is fluent in Turkish and signed on with the police/immigration to act as a translator. It's done entirely over the phone. Don't know if it still happens as much with AI though.

Evening classes? Pottery, painting, creative writing? Something to occupy her mind and increase her confidence leaving the house.

She sounds like an accomplished young woman, I hope she gets over this speed bump in her life and goes on to great things.

With her experience speaking languages has she considered teaching?

or even tutoring whilst she’s looking for another job?

It’s worth telling her repeatedly how bad the job market is. I remember when I graduated it was also a really bad job market. I couldn’t find any job and kept my waitressing job I had while a student. I ended up never working in my field and eventually being lucky enough to get a civil service internship. I think she needs to know it’s not her fault and finding a job can mean just getting lucky - right place, right time, right interviewer that you click with.

A degree on it's own is not sufficient to walk into a job. She needs to do any kind of volunteering that is available, plus any kind of minimum wage job she can get her hands on. Anything that involves interacting with the public will boost her confidence and employability.

if she likes animals how about offering to do some dog walking? Either paid or volunteering for the local shelter/kennels/dog's trust?
or sign up to one of those pet sitter agencies where you stay in people's homes. Will also give her a bit of a break in a different location.
Can she sign up to Fiver. or similar to use any skills she has?
Or try tutoring?
Doesn't mean she has to give up on a full time job but anything that gets her doing something and brings a bit of money in would be good for her self-esteem.

My eldest really struggled to get a job post Uni and it was soul destroying to not be able to resolve it. They took a very basic admin job and got some experience for 18 months and has since moved to a job they are keen on (still not great pay!). They actually said earlier today that looking back they wished they’d done some volunteering in charity shops or something to give themselves more structure while they were job hunting. Also some social connections. Agree with others that your daughter may not be ready right now - but it might be something else to focus on and research. It is really tough out there - do hope there’s some light soon x

T

This. Totally.
It is highly unlikely that any graduate will get any job if they have no work experience -not necessarily in the field they want to work in - just any field-cafe/bar/shop work through A levels etc
I've read many threads on here with posts from graduate recruiters saying they would never employ any graduate who had never had a PT job. Totally understandable.
I think it's best if your DD gets back to basics. Get a job in a cafe/shop/bar- whatever she did part time when doing A levels or at uni. Anything is better than nothing. For many reasons - her MH, it looks better on CV, gets her out of the house, easier to get a job when in one.