Graduate daughter still looking for work.

[Bluelagoon02]

Hello Mums.

Few months ago I opened up about my daughter’s job situation. She graduated July 2024 but hasn’t been able to secure anything yet. At first she was very much trying to find a job in line with her studies. But as time moved on it became obvious she needed to lower her expectations so she applied to just anything UK based and abroad, mainly Spain and Italy. She managed to get through several job interviews but her shyness and lack of experience landed her to nothing. Lots of rejections that if you are lucky to hear back from companies or recruiters. I was genuine very scared when I originally wrote my very first post on this forum. Now I feel literally petrified to lose her. Every morning I go to her room fearing the worse. She lost contact with most of her Uni friends who had moved on. Her bf has some serious family issues so my daughter is pretty much on her own apart from us.
What do you suggest I should do ? What can I do ? I fear for her mental and physical health. It’s just so sad to see her going through this given what she had achieved not just academically but on a personal level too. She tried so hard, now she just burnt out staring into space. This isn’t healthy !
Applications after applications with very little response let alone feedbacks. Maybe you are a Mum like me who is struggling to keep her adult child alive. Maybe you lived the same situation and can offer advice. I would love to hear from anybody who can help. Thank you

She applied to quiet a few. Trouble is you don't hear back from them or nothing. It's just impossible.

Hmm… if she couldn’t even hear back from an apprenticeship I’d worry that her Cv and cover letters weren’t up to scratch. Have you seen them?

Volunteer with something - it proves work ethic , time keeping etc and boosts confidence

It is so demoralising. My dd graduated this year and has just accepted a job in retail. On the shop floor which is everything she did her degree to not be doing.
she’s going to work and continue to look daily for something better suited but she’s studied hard and is seemingly no better off than those that didn’t. I hope your daughter finds something soon

Could she join a marketing agency? The work is sporadic but usually quite fun as it's often things like giving out free samples. She could join a few. Also market and social research? Some of those you WFH, some face to face. All those jobs are good for building confidence and speaking to various different people.

Has she thought about starting her own business? With AI tools these days you can do a lot on your own which in the past you might have needed someone to help you.

There are endless YouTube tutorials on how to use AI, how to start a business etc.

Plus has she tried to contact people on LinkedIn who work in companies she'd be interested in? If she can make personal connections it will definitely help with job applications.

Also has she thought about teaching? DD has just graduated and will be starting teacher training in September.

In all honesty we did not. My husband said we should not micro manage her to not make her feel even worse. Part of me agrees with you though. It's a tough one.

At least she got something. My daughter didn't find anything the whole year. Trust me she looked everywhere. Her CV has been checked several times. She takes time to write the cover letters. It's just not happening.

OP it is hard that you are feeling the burden of this.

Maybe the expectations are higher now because young people come out of Uni with a large debt, they need to get a good job to show for it? So when they can’t get a job it does feel ‘what was the point of the degree’ so more demoralising. Finishing university is a strange time as you feel a bit in limbo.

Obviously I am middle aged so graduated a while ago but when I left Uni I don’t remember any of my friends getting good jobs straight away. Our student loans were tiny compared to today’s students though. So less pressure I guess?

We all did loads of random jobs, just to get by.
I did waitressing, painting & decorating, cat sitting, all sorts! I also did volunteering and some part-time courses in my local adult education centre which were free because I was on a low income. Eventually a job came up in one of the places I had volunteered at, part-time but better than nothing. Then that led to full time and so on….

I think just doing something, anything, gets you out of the house, you meet people, gain confidence, it goes on your CV etc.

If she likes animals, would she consider farm work? It may get her MH into a better place doing something with animals and being outdoors before she continues to apply for jobs?

Tell me what her degree is in please and where she’s looking. I have contacts in the UK, Italy and France and the Netherlands let me see if there’s anything I can do for her.

You mentioned shyness and interviews. Just a thought, but practicing her interviewing skills could be helpful. Personally, I definitely needed to learn how to interview and develop my professional persona. A friend of mine was similar-she got a First but then had trouble getting her first job. She realized that she didn’t interview well and had to learn how to.

Of course there’s plenty of information online and she could practice interviewing with you and her Dad.

Just to say your daughters mental health is likely as much the loss of friends as it is job related.

dd1 really struggled 2 years ago as her friends left for uni and travelling and she took an apprenticeship. She was very very lonely and had little to no social life. She agreed that she had to do something before she spiralled further she saw an ad for volunteering with Girl guides ( I know less than Stellar on here for other reasons). She has come on leaps and bounds with her confidence, she became the unit first aider and completed her leadership. She also joined the network for younger leaders called inspire ( aged 18-30 they go out and meet up or have weekends away). It has given her so much to evidence positive transferable skills outside of the work environment ( where tbh she has been treated badly). She made the decision recently to now go to uni and she plans to carry on volunteering in her new area.

if you can just encourage your daughter to take the first steps ( I am certain you are trying ) there will be other groups out there crying out for volunteers… has she also got a job coach ?

How old is your daughter if I may ask ? Well done to her for recognising her issues before they got worse. Sadly my daughter is very headstrong, I can’t understand why she acts this way to be honest. It’s almost like talking to an addict who doesn’t want to give up the addiction. It’s so draining.

I really don’t know what she’s going to do. it’s just so sad. And for those who advised TEFL, most jobs seem to offer a very low wage, some places below minimum. Anyway here is a link you may find interesting. It just came up this morning 😰

https://thehill.com/opinion/education/5460106-entry-level-jobs-disappearing-ai/amp/

@Bluelagoon02you’re being defeatist. And unfortunately children seldom listen to their parents. What field would she be interested in (I understand she would take any job but ideally) and where are you roughly based? Does she drive ? Remind me how old she is. There are charities like open door for adolescents (I can’t remember up to what age), they are much better than CAMHS. the more details you give (nothing needs to be identifying ) the more we can help

How is the UK minimum wage relevant for a job abroad with different living costs? And if she doesn’t earn much, so what. She’s earning some money, mixing with people her age, seeing the world - it’s a fantastic experience. Right now she is doing nothing.

The pp is right, you do sound defeatist.

All of this.

There are lots of animal sanctuaries abroad that offer board and food for volunteering. She should take a look at the social media pages of animal sanctuaries to see what's out there.Her is one that may have vacancies https://www.bigvsanctuary.com/about-the-bigv-sanctuary/ This site may also be helpful.

I understand we don’t know each other but there is no need to reply this way. For the record we or she for that matter isn’t after a huge wage just enough to be independent if living abroad of course. Yes she is doing nothing and it’s very sad indeed. IT IS NOT A CHOICE GIVEN ALL HER EFFORTS and disappointments.

I know she looked at Greece and was expected to pay some money for looking after cats. Not exactly volunteering. Thanks for the link though I’ll show it to her.

Why did you mention CAMHS ? Sorry I don’t follow you at all.

Btw I’m not being negative it’s just pure reality. You can’t exactly send your daughter to the other side of the world to make her live in poverty for the sake of teaching her language. Again she is very humble and would be willing to start very low.

When I was in a similar position I got a job as a holiday rep for a couple of years. It gave me so much confidence and I had a fab time, met loads of people and saw a bit of the world. She doesn’t have to get her forever career at this stage, just something to give her some fun and motivation might be good? As well as practicing her Spanish perhaps?

Sorry you found my post upsetting. It genuinely wasn’t meant to be. I suggested doing TEFL because it’s very common for young grads her age to do exactly that. And in response to your later post, yes of course you can send your dd to work abroad, earning not very much, to teach English. It’s for the adventure, meeting other young grads, seeing the world. It’s a brilliant option for her - which would do a massive amount for her confidence and MH, give her something to talk about at future interviews etc. And yes some school
pay a local salary (but usually enough to not live in poverty), others (British Council, International House) pay better.

2 close friends of mine actually made good careers teaching abroad, having been slightly lost as new graduates. Similarly a couple of my DCs friends, also a bit lost post-graduation, are having a ball teaching in Asia.

I’m not upset. Thanks for explaining it to me. I’m not against TEFL at all. In fact it was on my mind for a while and was glad when others mentioned in my thread. I just hope she can find something soon or do the course.