Graduate daughter still looking for work.

[Bluelagoon02]

Hello Mums.

Few months ago I opened up about my daughter’s job situation. She graduated July 2024 but hasn’t been able to secure anything yet. At first she was very much trying to find a job in line with her studies. But as time moved on it became obvious she needed to lower her expectations so she applied to just anything UK based and abroad, mainly Spain and Italy. She managed to get through several job interviews but her shyness and lack of experience landed her to nothing. Lots of rejections that if you are lucky to hear back from companies or recruiters. I was genuine very scared when I originally wrote my very first post on this forum. Now I feel literally petrified to lose her. Every morning I go to her room fearing the worse. She lost contact with most of her Uni friends who had moved on. Her bf has some serious family issues so my daughter is pretty much on her own apart from us.
What do you suggest I should do ? What can I do ? I fear for her mental and physical health. It’s just so sad to see her going through this given what she had achieved not just academically but on a personal level too. She tried so hard, now she just burnt out staring into space. This isn’t healthy !
Applications after applications with very little response let alone feedbacks. Maybe you are a Mum like me who is struggling to keep her adult child alive. Maybe you lived the same situation and can offer advice. I would love to hear from anybody who can help. Thank you

If you are less than 30 mins to Euston, then your daughter has a huge amount of scope - it's not like being stuck in the countryside, with few opportunities. Find your local Volunteer Centre (if they still exist), or go online to look at volunteer opportunities. She needs to do it today, as we're coming up to one of the peak times for volunteer recruitment.

When I graduated I had a factory job, then a shop job and then a waitressing job. All short term just to get cash but the other xperience from them then translated into a 'proper' job with pension, career progression and decent pay. There's no way I would have got it based on zero work experience. She just needs to do something - anything to make a start.

My daughter did her one year Erasmus in Madrid. She loved her experience which helped her so much a real confidence boost. So to see her now so broken it’s simply devastating. Thanks for your link. Fingers crossed x

We are lucky to be so close. I agree the opportunities are there so lots of competition though. What do you mean by peak times for volunteer recruitment. I just assumed that people could apply to this type of jobs anytime.

We looked into a master in translating/interpreting. However, there are no guarantee to get any entry level jobs. It seems there is a lot of freelance work. Interpreting can be extremely stressful as well. I can’t have my daughter unwell for the sake of a job.

Op what would she think about teaching?

My husband worked in finance for a very well known British company. He’s now retired and no longer has contacts with anybody in the company, let alone HR 😟

Would she move to Spain / LATAM ? When I graduated with a degree with languages, I found it was much easier to go abroad and be hired as native English speaker with my qualifications, rather than a good but not native Spanish speaker here

What about friends and family?

Or alternatively try emailing marketing directors on spec. You can normally find out names on Linkedin or company websites. It’s easy to guess email addresses and some companies have them on their websites. I know this would be a lot of effort but it can work.

Ok I think for now completely park the idea of a marketing / corporate job at a big international company. From what you’ve said about her mental health, the likelihood of her being in the right state of mind to secure one of these jobs is low at the moment. Maybe it’s best to not even think about big career goals right now and to completely take the pressure off (and avoid going further into the negative spiral of corporate job rejections!) When I graduated I was unemployed for a short period of time and within a couple of months the lack of routine and purpose meant that my mental health did take a hit! So I can imagine how low your daughter feels after a year and I have every sympathy. As others have mentioned I think she needs to build herself back up one step at a time. Improve confidence and gain skills that will help her employability. First step could be volunteering and then a part time job.

From a quick Google, what about any of the following? (I have no experience of these opportunities just what I managed to find online)
https://ageinspain.org/volunteer/ - We provide expert information, personalised support and dedicated advocacy – supporting English speakers in Spain to live well, be active and remain independent as valued members of their communities. say on their website they are recruiting for a Social Media Assistant volunteer.
https://www.volunteerspuebloingles.com/ (short term volunteering in Spain)
https://www.infolatinos.co.uk/en/become-buddy (Info Latinos volunteers help people settle in the UK, can be mentors, need some Spanish, and commit to one hour a week for six months)
https://www.estacioninglesa.es/en/language-volunteering-estacion-inglesa/programme (English language immersion programme that brings together a group of Spaniards with a group of volunteer native English speakers for 6 days)
https://www.latinamericanhouse.org.uk/volunteering - looking for volunteers to support mission of helping Latin American people in the UK. Open roles = ‘Spanish Teaching Assistant Volunteer’ and ‘Advice Assistant Volunteer’
https://lawadv.org.uk/volunteer-programme/ LAWA runs the only refuges in Europe and in the UK by and for Latin American women and children fleeing gender-based violence. We seek skills in different areas for different roles. It is preferable that you speak English and at least one Latin American language – Spanish or Portuguese. These are some of the areas in which you could support us: Communication & Social Media
https://www.ladpp.org.uk/volunteer.html Latin American Disabled People's Project (LADPP). Volunteer roles require knowledge of Spanish. There are a number of areas where you could help: Translating and interpreting Advice work (full training provided) General office support work (reception, filing, phone support) Event and activities planning Befriending Teaching English Fundraising (events and grant application writing)
Or target other small charities / NGOs that align with her interests and ask if they need help with their social media/ marketing

Honestly, almost everyone I know started off in admin/clerical or customer service roles even with degrees. All of them now are now in higher paying positions and challenging positions. Also at my company we have hired quite a few interns, so that could be an option.

Sorry if she's already tried this, but has she been in contact with the careers service at her former university? In my experience they may have contacts to schemes/ internships only open to their students/ graduates, or at the very least they may be able to give her some coaching or new leads?
DS's uni offered practice interviews and CV review etc for graduates from the last 2-3 years.
Has she got a well-written LinkedIn profile? Even if it's padded out with past small jobs or achievements?

Would this apply to a graduate ? My husband looked it up and looks more students orientated.

My daughter had her CV checked just before she left her Uni. However, she never contacted them afterwards as they seemed not so keen to offer further advice.

Sorry she is going through this, it is not easy. She needs to get busy: find online support groups with people in the same situation, look for council sponsored courses to up skill and networking, definitely start volunteering. It will give her day a structure and will make her feel like she is contributing to society.

I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds a bit rubbish!

Would she be willing to do any online courses in marketing while she's trying to find a job? There are ones like this that are funded:
https://freecoursesinengland.co.uk/digital-marketing-free-course/

Or even courses on LinkedIn which offer a certificate - sometimes you can get a month for free.

It would just be something new for her to add to her CV and talk about if she got any interviews.

I would agree with the previous posters saying try to get her volunteering with something that gets her out of the house, and preferably in the fresh air - it's good for mental health.

The local Wildlife Trusts often have 'Youth Boards' they are always looking for volunteers for - a friend of my family is in the London one.
At least then she'd be with other young people of her age, as a lot of volunteering jobs attract older, retired people, which wouldn't give her the chance to make new friends etc.

Similar sorts of things here: www.charityjob.co.uk/youth-board-volunteer-jobs

Are you sure that it was her lack of experience? Because when I invite a recent graduate to an interview, I've already seen their CV and know that they have no experience. If I invite them anyway, then I'm not looking to fill a role that needs an experienced candidate, and I've liked their CV. So your daughter seems to be sabotaging herself during the interview. Her MH probably gets worse with each rejection, and so she's bombing the next interview even harder, it's an awful circle.

OP, she needs a good interview coach, someone who will help her build up confidence. The London job market is awful right now, can she move further up north and apply there? Our offices in Manchester or in Scotland often have a harder time filling vacancies, so might be more patient with someone who's not a very good interview partner.

Thank you for taking the time to reply with such an incredible list of volunteering options, some of which really interesting. However, my daughter seems to have lost her sparkle. She looks confused and lost. Frustrated and sad to have given her time and money to gain her degree. She just told me “I spend over £45.000 for nothing”. It’s so sad truly soul destroying.
But I’ll make sure she looks into the links you shared. I don’t easily give up ! Thanks

Basically to be on site already ? Not sure she is fit right now for that. She’s hardly feeding herself. I couldn’t trust her tbh.

I don’t disagree with what you are saying. It kind of makes sense. The very first interviews went really well. For one firm in particular she was interviewed 4 times including a computerised test. She deffo needs an interview coach, now more than ever before. Trouble is she is so headstrong. So self conscious. She finds it so hard to accept any constructive criticism, so necessary to grow and improve.
Would you be willing to pm me the name of the company you are working for to check for positions up north ? Don’t worry if you can’t.

This sounds so tough and Im sure the lack of job isnt helping her mental health.

This is very specific but as PP have mentioned volunteering, would she consider volunteering with the girl guides, my local unit have just contacted all parents asking for volunteers for roles that don't require a weekly commitment and seem to be admin (that can be done from home) minute taking at monthly meets etc, It might help her make some connections but not be too daunting. Also the local parish council often have roles for treasurers and admin?

Unfortunately her situation isn't unique, I see a lot of graduates in my workplace who have worked in cafes, retail etc for some time after finishing Uni before they find what they want.

Again very specific but micro volunteering, its a while since I've done some but its easy and not pressured and she could use it on her CV. I actually found it quite a calming break at work.

https://www.zooniverse.org/

I feel for her, and you. It is a horrible situation to be in.

When DS was is a serious rut that was dipping into severe depression, I helped him out of it by gently coaxing him to build a fuller life, so that the lack of the one thing that mattered to him (in your daughter's case, finding a job) left only a small gap, not a gaping hole.

Make a list of things she can control. She can control her own health and wellbeing. Suggest she steps back from job apps for now and spends at least two months focusing on her own wellbeing - a really nutritious diet, gentle exercise, time outdoors in nature, some therapy or self help, and once she feels up to it, a bit of life-development. I got DS to make a list of 9 areas of life that matter and to do something to improve at least one of them - however small - every day. And keep a record of progress. Once she is taking good care of herself physically, she can branch out and start redoing something she used to love - playing an instrument or singing - joining an art class or sports club or choir. Once that is part of her life she could look into either volunteering - it doesn't have to be a charity - could be reading with children at a local school or brownie group, helping at church if you are religious, joining a community gardening scheme - anything that makes her feel like her contribution matters.

Then I strongly suggest, as soon as she is feeling a tiny bit brighter, she does something - anything – to create her own work. That could be offering Spanish tutoring and conversation classes to people wanting to go to Spain on holiday. Or she could read a load of marketing books to make sure her degree info is up to date, and offer small local businesses some marketing strategies on how to grow their profile. Or even set up as a dog walker, if she likes animals. In this way, she has something - or a few things - on her CV. She could even start a blog or substack about things that interest her, that are related to the profession she wants to go into - just commenting on marketing campaigns and strategies - giving her considered opinion. That could be a good thing to have on her CV.

Get her to go back to dreaming big not small about what she wants to do in life. When she has a clear picture of a career she might enjoy - think of every single person you know to see if any of them have a connection with that world, and then approach them directly and ask to shadow them. Or offer her services free for a couple of weeks to a local small business or start up.

This is what DS did. He did one day a week, unpaid, as an intern in a small business that really needed him. He didn't feel exploited as he was gaining genuine experience, not just shadowing people and doing coffee runs. That led to pay internship and then his first job.

It is hard, but the people I know who thrive just created work for themselves. DS did this too. He set up his own small business in the profession that he wanted to enter, created a blog, so that along with the free and paid internships, he had a visible track record in his chosen field. And if she does stuff for herself, that covers the gap on her CV, so it shows continuity.

Good luck to her.

I’m not a mum (despite trying) however I’ve not been able to do my usual work because of fertility treatment and miscarriages. I had to find remote flexible work and have ended up doing a job for a company based in America training ai. There’s no interview and it’s all online, you just have to pass assessments to get work, and you just choose the tasks you want to do. The pay is not great compared to what I earned and there’s no security but… hey it’s interesting and is like a little workout for my brain and I’m managing to pay my mortgage with it. Would she be into doing something like that? It might side step some of the other challenges.