Hr meeting over a comment

[HRHooha]

(Not racist discrimination et cetera in any way.) If you went into the meeting and pretended to just not remember the comment, as it's only a first level meeting, where could they go from that?

I'd say their understanding of HR in that respect is absolutely spot on.

More than one person heard you say it.

If you deny it you'll just look like a liar and people will think a) You said it, know you shouldn't have and are trying to cover up and b) That you're a dishonest person with a poor character. If I knew you/worked with you and could tell you were lying (and it would be obvious) I'd think a lot less of you as a person.

I think there is far more to this story! I’m
guessing she’s toxic at work and what she said was the final straw for someone! Pretending she doesn’t recall the comment is pathetic, far better to admit it and then add her context to it! This actually sounds like a pre investigation meeting!

You are making yourself sound really childish! Just admit you said it and add your own context to why you said it!

what your actually attending is a pre investigation meeting and how you respond will dictate whether it goes to a full investigation! Be adult and own what you said!

I wouldn't lie that I didn't remember if I did. But if I didn't then I'd say so.
It's best if you just take it on the chin, and apologise and ensure it doesn't happen again. If you say that I'd say they'll probably leave it there. If it's a 'first offence'.
If you've got issues with a specific person they may well just keep you apart.

Thousands of others have been getting away with it for years.

I think I'd say, I do not recollect saying that. What can they say?! Oh yes you did?! If they say, someone said you did, then you reply that's not proof I said it though is it?! That's just hear say!

She's not denying it, she's saying she doesn't remember saying it which I don't see a problem with. I say stuff all the time which I'm not gonna remember in 3 weeks!

I'm really glad that your employment experience or expertise has shown you otherwise, but unfortunately, my experience has been different.

In HR process, the required proof is not the same standard as a court of law. Previous behaviour, the probity of the person/people who reported it, likelihood, all can be taken into account when reaching a decision.

If you honestly do not remember it fine but the OP does and will be lying.

The fact that she has posted, asked a question with zero facts then disagreed with every single person makes me feel like there is more at play here for sure.

Agree we don’t all remember every minor remark we made weeks ago. So there’s no reason why you would
However
What happens if they ask you whether you agree with this thing you do at work.

How will you respond

Sorry but you don't understand what "hearsay" means.

If there are witnesses who heard the OP say [whatever it's claimed she said] then that is direct evidence that she said it

oh this for sure

where they could go from it is to totally disbelieve your assertion and then there would be lying to add to whatever it was you said

"I do not remember saying that and would not have put it in such strong words, but I do have concerns about [the topic], which is that [reasonable version of whatever you said]."

Then take them to a tribunal?

Why are people still replying to the OP when the OP has left the thread?

Not true. There are plenty of credible suggestions without needing to have the actual comment. It would clearly be very identifying for the OP and they just needed some ideas on how to approach the meeting,

The OP can always return to the thread if they change their mind.

If you told me you couldn't remember making the comment I'd say well X remembers and trust their recollection. And then if you suddenly changed your story I'd think you were a liar

It probably wasn't an innocent remark.

HR wouldn't call you into a meeting if you were just complaining about a policy to colleagues, like hybrid working ect.

But you said you would be pretending not to remember. So presumably you do.

I think you should double down, if you said it and meant it then why aren’t you bringing it up? No point moaning to colleagues, you need to tell the boss if you have an issue with the job. I think being vague and denying all memory just makes you look disingenuous. You say it wasn’t a bad comment but HR don’t get involved usually unless they feel you are causing an issue, perhaps your comment made other people uncomfortable. I had an employee who used to moan about the job all the time and she made all my other staff miserable, it had to be addressed. You need to think about whether you have been as inoffensive as you think? Personally as an employer it would annoy me if you were moaning about policy/process to other staff but didn’t have the balls to come and speak to me about it directly.