My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

I can't believe that a grown man has gone whining to the boss saying, essentially, 'the other kids won't play with me, s'not fair' and the boss has taken him seriously! Is it the rule that everyone has to get along, irrespective of other factors?

There's this concept called 'professionalism' and those of us who want to succeed in the workplace try and display a modicum of this, you may wish to try it

Turn that around. It's not professional to come into work every day stinking.

I'm sure if you vomited enough in front of him work would do something about it 😂

How rediculous. No one should have to put up with this every single day at work. Why should everyone else in the office ‘suck it up’ because one selfish individual is too lazy to practice basic hygiene? If this was someone in my team I would not expect the rest of the office to put up with it. I would have a quiet word with the smelly one and give them the opportunity to sort the issue. People should make an effort to turn up presentable when they go to work and that includes being clean and not stinking of weed and b.o.

I agree with PP that, if OP hadn't mentioned that he was male, most people would have assumed he was a woman backed him up completely and moaned about how selfish and dreadful men were (NAMALT but most) with their personal hygiene.

You are bullying.

This is straight out of the mean girls play book, a literal 'you can't sit with us'.

Other people don't exist for your comfort but you cannot bully them because you don't like how they look/smell/move etc... and under HR it absoloutly falls under Ableism.

That does NOT have to be physical either. The number 1 reason for 'BO' problems are usually MH or ND struggles which are equally protected. Throwing out derogatory words like 'Lazy' is outdated and discriminatory, people have different energy levels and different executive function levels it not a 'choice' its a difference.

A grip is needed here, I think.

No you don't have to deal with poor hygiene and weed smells. Your boss needs to explain the problem and let him know he has to bathe and wear clean clothes. If it is genuinely medical, you may have to live with it to a point, but then a reasonable adjustment had to be made, if possible.

Agreed. If someone stinks of weed in the workplace they shouldn't be there.

He can shower, brush his teeth, stop smoking weed and wear clean clothes then, like every other adult that doesn't stink.

Your boss has the responsibility for resolution here but you and your colleagues have been really immature and dealt with this like a bunch of 8 yearolds so you deserve your reprimands. It shouldn't have had to wait this long and wait till Tom got upset before anyone addressed the issue.

So Tom stinks. Why on earth didn't someone go and talk to Tom's direct line manager right away to highlight the problem.

If there is some kind of medical reason why he stinks then the resolution is not to force colleagues to work in a smelly environment but to put in place reasonable adjustments so that all colleagues can work in a tolerable environment. If there isn't then his line manager has to manage the situation and this includes requiring Tom to improve his personal hygiene.

Speak to your boss again - 1 to 1, do not include your co-workers in the conversation as it is not the playground, tell him it is an issue for you. Avoiding Tom is not appropriate and it is understandable he sees this as cliquey or bullying if he is not aware of what the issue is.

It is your bosses job to speak to Tom privately and respectfully and as him to deal with his hygiene issues and let them know if any support is needed. If the issue is not resolved they (or you if your boss does not take seriously) need to raise with HR.

Your boss needs to get a grip. Not wanting to sit next to someone who smells isn't bullying, it's common sense.

One of the most important thing about the work force is presentation and hygiene

In which case you have to wonder why they employed him at all - unless he made himself decent for the interview, in which case if he can do it for that he can do it again

I agree that perceived bullying isn't okay, but as PPs have said it's your boss's job to address this with him so everyone has a more pleasant working environment
Having had to do this I know it's not easy, but sometimes being the boss isn't so he'll just have to suck it up

Management should be addressing it with him,it's their job.

I never said it was. I said it's for the manager to handle that issue separately

Your manager should be having a word with him, it's very antisocial to be so smelly around others.

I have a customer who sometimes smells terrible, she is incontinent and sometimes the smell is so bad it makes your eyes water. When it is at it's worst I quietly tell her it's takeaway only today unless she wants to get changed (lives in sheltered accommodation next year)

I wouldn't dream of embarrassing her but I can't have someone stinking out my whole cafe, especially when people are eating.

Your manager needs to step up and address the issue, although putting your hands over your face is very obvious and rude

You don’t know that and AGAIN are trying to justify your poor behaviour.

The lose lose is your behaviour then and your complete inability to recognise it and want to change now.

Seriously OP let that sink in.

Yeah Tom might smell and yeah your manager needs to deal with it but it does not in any way shape or form justify your extremely poor and bullying behaviour. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Stop focusing on Tom as that will now be dealt with as you have finally told your manager (but only in defence of your poor behaviour) and focus on how you are going to behave in a professional and respectful manner going forward. Let’s be exceptionally clear here - there is a real and serious gap between your behaviour and acting in a professional and respectful manner.

TMAU primarily causes fish odour not weed odour…

He may not have a sense of smell - he may be like DH and DS with a very poor one - he may as the TV ad says be nose blind.

Thing is your boss has a point - this bullying - though at same time I can struggle with some scents and sounds - assume related to my ND.

You probably should have approached boss of HR to have a quiet word with him.

Let's face it, everything is deemed 'bullying', everyone has to accept unacceptable behaviour from one person, otherwise that person is being 'bullied'! Maybe the one person should be more aware of the situation and wonder why he is being avoided by otherwise pleasant people.

The fact that he smells of weed should be dealt with instantly by your line manager. If Tom was smelling of alcohol I am assuming he would have been spoken to if not on the receiving end of warnings. Whilst I understand you not wanting to be around someone that smells like that (I wouldn’t) when you started discussing it with coworkers and joining together to move away with him you became bullies. Ask your manager to address the smell and intolerable working environment and do your very best not to make your distaste for Tom a subject for gossip or quite so obvious.

Loss of smell can be caused my many things - COVID, head trauma (yes this is real - again knew someone who lost their sense of smell for two years and counting), infection (I knew someone that lost their sense f smell for over ten years) etc etc.

Whilst this is true the other option you had was to talk to your manager and get them involved. It's a long time since excluding fellow employees was added to the workplace regulations. It wasn't even subtle.

Then perhaps he should have a wash and brush his teeth.