My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

If i would've spoken to him gently as you say, he would also be offended so its a lose lose.

I must be blatantly obvious to him and others how awful you’re all treating him. He must dread coming into work every day because of you and your colleagues.

You're all being ridiculously obvious with your made up excuses, no ones buying them. The adult thing would have been to speak to your boss when it was obvious the issue wasn't a once off. Then it would have been much simpler for your boss to talk to him about it. Now you have created a toxic workplace and bullied this man, which is a much complex situation. Speak to your boss and explain the issue, he needs to talk to him and you should all apologise but given the level of maturity displayed here that would be too much to hope for.

True though

Nor should you have to.

However you should have spoken to your boss before it got to this though I would find it hard to believe the boss hasn't noticed!

Do we not tell folks these days they smell

it would be Tom can’t you lay of the weed or at least make sure your clothes don’t stink of it in the office thanks.

I can’t stand the smell of weed and I’d end up with a migraine because of it.

This happened to an older man at our work he ended his life a few days later turned out he was really struggling with depression

Not enough to have a shower beforehand and end the problem though? 🤯

But nothing stopped you from going to your manager about the issue.

You and your co workers engaged in the excluding behaviour rather than telling your manager directly.

You’ve clearly been more obvious than you thought in avoiding him. It probably would have been better to speak to your manager right away, asking him to have a word with Tom about hygiene. Just avoiding him hasn’t solved the problem and has just created additional issues. But now that it’s out in the open, I would definitely talk to the manager again. It’s up to him to address the situation. You’re not wrong to want co-workers to maintain decent personal hygiene.

Years ago there was a series of threads on MN about a similar issue. Someone had to share an office with a colleague who smelled so awful that it made the OP physically sick. Does anyone remember those threads? I think the OP’s username had the words “maple leaf” in it.

Why not call a spade a spade? Tom stinks. It's in his power to change that.

You don't speak to him directly about it, you speak to your manager. There's a reason they are the boss, and not you - they've demonstrated they have the skills (tact and discretion) to handle situations like this, so you raise it with them. I strongly recommend you reframe it in a less unkind /intolerant way, ie don't say 'urgh we can't work with him he stinks' that rude, childish and unprofessional. You need to frame it carefully that you are struggling to work as this individual carries an unfortunate odour that staff find impossible to tolerate and it's a distraction.
Then leave it to your boss to handle.

It appears that there is a severe lack of maturity and communication skills in your workplace with nobody intelligent enough to address the issue properly.

Whenever a colleague has to be informed about his poor hygiene the response is never good, however tactful you are. I’ve had to do this!

You've been pulled up for bullying. You have been correctly pulled up.

Your boss has a separate issue to deal with and that's the smell from Tom.

These two issues are obviously separate, but linked. The first wouldn't have happened (I assume) without the second.

So Tom stinks and needs to be told to sort out his personal hygiene immediately, including clean clothes, a regular shower, washed hair, brushed teeth and drop the weed.

You lot, on the other hand, deserve to be pulled up for behaving like schoolkids rather than adults and should accept your disciplinary for that midjudgement.

Leave work for your lunches. Go sit in your car. That's what I'd do.

Can work force you to spend time beyond the desk or meetings with a colleague who stinks? Lunch breaks, surely, can be spent with whoever you want.

This would just not be tolerated where I work. We have a dress code and you are told at interview stage that you have to wear smart, appropriate business attire.
We have air freshener, not because of staff but because of occasional stinking customers. I cannot stand the smell of weed and I would not be eating my lunch anywhere near someone who stinks of it.
Your boss is wrong and he/she needs to deal with this smelly worker.
Why on earth do they think it’s acceptable for anyone to come into work who is so obviously a druggie?
I think allowing staff to turn up for work in very casual almost scruffy clothing can lead to this. By it’s very nature you will get some people turning up in clothes they have worn for several days.

TMAU(Trimethylaminuria) is a real (and incurable) medical condition where people emit trimethylamine and various other compounds from their pores, breath etc.

It's an incredibly isolating medical condition that this colleague of yours 'might' have.

People don't smell on purpose. If he smells he probably already knows that he does and already feels rubbish.

Well done, you're making him feel even worse 👏 👍 a real stand up guy.

This is a good point as lack of personal care can be a symptom of depression. In that case it would be compounding Toms problems to be treated so cruelly by his colleagues.
The point is that no one knows what the issue is or whether it can be resolved until the manager speaks to Tom about it. This should have been flagged up to the manager at the start and then there would likely have been no need to bully Tom.

To be honest it would be your bosses or HRs responsibility to address this issue with your co worker. It would have been a lot more professional to direct your concerns directly to rhem
instead of openly dealing with them around the colleague in question.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a health condition or not, it cannot be expected from a whole office to sit through such a distraction and bear it.

i would take it up again with your boss and HR and ask them to address this issue properly. That’s what they’re paid for.

Well, I don’t! No way would I prefer to sit near someone smelly! Reading these comments has made me wonder about the hygiene of some of the posters. One dreadful person even suggested someone had mental issues because they showered every day!! That really offended me because my darling husband showered every day and he was the most sane, level-headed person I knew. He smelt amazing. How dare they insinuate a mental condition because someone wants to be clean? I am furious!

Because it's not necessary? Everyone understands personally well without the need for aggressive, loaded language. The word 'stink' is perjorative in this context.

There's this concept called 'professionalism' and those of us who want to succeed in the workplace try and display a modicum of this, you may wish to try it

I get that Tom may well be upset at being excluded, and he may have got so used to smelling that he no longer notices it (maybe the weed-smoking plays a part?); but OP and the others shouldn't be expected to sit near such a dreadfully unbearable stench. A slight unfresh whiff could probably be put up with, but it sounds like he absolutely reeks.

Yes, always moving because of something made up like a cleaner table or faster computer might seem unkind, and possibly come across as bullying; but how would it actually be better if they told the truth and said "Let's move over there because Tom pongs so badly that I'm going to be sick" - obviously in front of Tom?

No he's not. He needs to get Tom to sort his personal hygiene issues.

You maybe thought you were being subtle and diplomatic but now you obviously realise you weren't. However, your boss should discuss this problem with Tom - he might have already done so. It is not fair of Tom to expect people to be constantly uncomfortable in his presence. I know there can be health conditions which cause people to smell, and that's not his fault - but then, neither is it yours. However I'm pretty sure that there isn't a health condition which makes you smell of weed.

As PP have said, this isn't for you to discuss with Tom as your boss also has a duty of care to his other employees including you, and for all he knows, one of you might have hyperosmia which hasn't been a problem until Tom arrived. Even if not diagnosed, as pp have said too, some people are very sensitive to smell and Tom isn't being fair to them.

I would give it a couple of weeks, and if Tom's problem doesn't improve, I think you need to see your boss again. Tell him that things haven't improved and although you have tried, you are finding it difficult to work and eat lunch in Tom's vicinity.

If your boss isn't careful he might find he has a fair few of his staff leaving. I know of employees who have transferred or left in these circumstances - usually when a line manager was too lily-livered to have the discussion.

You sound like teenagers bullying in a school