My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

This is bullying behaviour. Whether Tom has a medical condition, or any other issue, it costs nothing to be nice. It IS cliquey behaviour. You sound like a bunch of twelve year old girls.

You're wrong . I have trimethylaminuria and the odours vary. It has been misnomered as fish odour syndrome for years but smells can be fecal, sewerage, vomit and yes, even weed. I don't know why the smell changes so much but it is a very under- researched metabolic disorder that is a lot more common than was initially thought.

@joel666 does this person drive a vehicle to and from work?

And for all those saying the OP should have spoken to their line manager I'd say that Tom's line manager should have already spoken to Tom. On his first day of work.

Tom may not have realised that he smells.

Nose blindness or just a poor sense of smell.

He's obviously realised no-one likes him though, because no-one sits with him or eats lunch with him and you all move away from him.

You are bullying him.

You needed (as others have said) to speak to your manager to get this resolved and then you wouldn't need to bully him.

The amount of people making excuses for this man is unreal. Even if, by some small chance, it is medical (which I very much doubt, because he smells of unwashed body as well as weed and having bad breath), it still isn't fair for others to have to suffer because of him.

I'm disabled. I can't shower every day, or wash my hair every day. If I smelled bad, there's no way I would want to inflict that on my colleagues, let alone complain about people avoiding me! I also have very strong aversions to bad smells due to ND, and if I had to be around someone like this, it would make me physically ill and cause anxiety and panic.

The manager needs to have a word. If it isn't medical, he needs to sort himself out. If it is, then they need to come up with ways of minimising the impact it's having on others.

Oh, and avoiding someone who fucking stinks is not bullying. If anything, you could argue that him following them round with his stench is bullying.

The boss needs to tell him that his clothes need washing. I (as a manager) have had to do this too.

Your boss should tactfully address it with Tom (he has a duty of care to all employees. )
I know previous bosses who have had to approach such issues.
IF it is a medical reason, then you will have to accept it and include him more.
IF it is not a medical reason, then Tom needs to act on what he has been told !

And they dread coming to work every day because a man can’t/won’t take care of his personal hygiene! I can’t believe the way nearly everyone is siding with the smelly colleague! It’s crazy that he can get away with it!

I mean really it should be the manager who does this. As a manager I’ve had to have conversation with people about personal hygiene up to and including having nits! It’s an awkward conversation but it’s part of a manager’s role and he’s failing in his job by not doing this.

i wouldn't want to sit with a smelly person at lunch

It might improve the smell in the office at least anyway 🤣

We had this problem too. I reported it to HR. When they sat with her, they realised I was telling the truth. They had a word, and she started washing herself and her clothes. She wasn't aware because she lost her sense of smell.

I’m a manager. I have had to deal with a team member who had halitosis.

I would take a dim view of my team if they handled an issue like this by nasty excluding. We are adults and that is not a kind nor helpful way to address an issue.

Oh, and this ‘we’ll call him Tom…’ thing on here is twatty and unnecessary.

Fair enough, I only know one person with it and it presents as a fish odour, but if that’s a misnomer I’m glad to have been educated about this. How do you manage this illness at work? Is there anything you do that could maybe help the OPs colleague?

Your manager needs to deal with the hygiene issues so you don't have to be around intolerable smells - they are responsible for your wellbeing as much as his.

The way you handled it with your co-workers is bullying. Had you just moved when you were uncomfortable, it would be entirely different to discussing with others and then all finding fictional reasons to exclude him. It makes for a horrendous working environment.

a long time ago I worked with a coder who had poor personal hygiene- I spoke to my boss about it instead of behaving like a playground bully. It is quite common among software developers to bypass hygiene for a variety of reasons from houselessness to depression to being so caught up in the coding he ran out of time before starting work again.

You shouldn’t have to tolerate offensive smells like that but you also have to behave and deal with it like adults in the workplace not mean girls

It's not My job to baby another adult and instruct them on proper hygiene. Its clear from what op has said that his manager has no intentions on tackling the issue.
I'm curious though how having a sensitive gag reflex makes me less of an adult , it's not something I can control at all and I'm not alone in having one either.

Your boss needs to have a quiet gentle word with Tom

does he think toms smells

or are you being too sensitive ?

I agree bo and bad breath are bad but have to tell the person of how else do they know

It's not unusual for people with halitosis to be unaware their breath smells horrible.
You could have it yourself. Would you want to suffer and have people avoid you like the plague, or would you prefer someone to take you to one side and have a word?

Doing the following IS bullying: "For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window."

Tom sits down and everyone else gets up under the guise of sitting at a cleaner table? Tom isn't stupid. OP and his colleagues should have spoken to their manager.

I'd be telling Tom myself that he fucking stinks.

Good on your boss. There is no reason to move and change behaviour as a group.

You’re being very unkind.

I’ll assume that you’re joking as otherwise you are a spiteful bully.