My boss reprimanded me and some of my other coworkers for avoiding a smelly coworker.

[joel666]

I am a 34 year old male and i work as a web developer. I am fairly good at it my work and get along with most other coworkers.

But there is this one coworker that started 2 months ago. I will refer to him as tom.

Tom is good at his job but there is problem with him.

Ever since i met him for the first time, he always had a strong stench to him. His odor is a mix of weed and unwashed body odor and on top of that, his breath smells really bad.

But i always tried being polite but me and some of my other coworkers who also noticed how bad he smells avoid him but we tried not to be rude about it.

For examples. When tom would sit near us, my coworkers and me would tell each other "why don't we go seat over there. This table is a lot cleaner. Why don't we use this computer instead. This one is kinda slow. When you come back from the bathroom, join us on that other table next to the window.

And when we would be in the lunch break room, we would stand there, wait and see where tom would sit and we would make sure not to sit next to him.

But on the bad luck that he would sit right in front of us, i would cover my nose with my hand. And my other coworkers would do the same.

But again we try not to show our disgusts. We don't gag or make any disgusted facial expressions.

But just a week ago, our bosse called me into his office and he tells me that tom feels excluded and me and the other coworkers are creating a toxic work environment and my clique attitude will nog be tolerated.

I admitted to my boss why we avoid him. I told him that i cannot stand the stench coming off tom.

My boss argued and said this is disrespectful and he could very well have a health condition that causes him to smell unpleasant.

My other coworkers later told me that they also got reprimanded.

How would you deal with this ? Health or not, i cannot stand smelly people. I try not to be rude but when someone smells bad my first instinct is to avoid them.

Just tell him the truth. Say I am really sorry Tom but you have a potent smell.
I don't know your situation and you may nit want to share with me which I understand.
But do you realise this or need some support to go to the Dr's or in need of a washing machine 🤔 .
Could be medical if his clothes present clean. Cannabis may be a private legal prescription for pain.
See if he opens up.
Maybe he shares a flat with someone on weed and they don't have proper facilities. Or maybe he has never been taught hygiene.
I appreciate honesty.

Your thinking is flawed.

You can take the personal hygiene issue to your manager but your bullying behaviour is what it is and your manager was right to call it out.

This. Your boss is falling.

Yanbu , sorry to Tom but I've an extremely sensitive stomach and I'd be retching at the smell . I'd rather quit that have to tolerate being near him when he smells like that

You may think you’re not being rude, but clearly you are, and very obvious about it as he’s spoken to someone about it. Your behaviour sounds really horrible towards him.
Honestly, having working with someone many years ago who smelt awful I can have a little sympathy, but still can’t quite get over your behaviour towards him and how it’s been dealt with.
Management should be dealing with this and speaking to him. It may be medical, it may be that he isn’t hygienic, but it can’t be ignored if it’s that bad, and there can’t be work colleagues behaving like bitchy teenagers in a school playground over it.

One of the most important thing about the work force is presentation and hygiene.

Smelling unpleasant when you are alone in your house may not be a huge deal but when you share a work space with other people, its important to groom yourself correctly. I take care of my body but i don't only do it to feed my ego. I think about others.

Being around people who smell unpleasant is not fun.

When you are in a bus or subway and a smelly person sits next to you, you gonna want to move. Its the same thing at work.

I can’t deal with smells like this. The person at the desk in specsavers had cavity breath and was chewing gum. I could smell the smell when I walked in. I was thinking I could not work here. It was ott strong.

Well you're wrong. Distancing yourself or complaining about someone who is unpleasant to you in the sense that they are bullying you, excluding you or treating you badly - that isn't bullying. This colleague has done nothing to you.

Me too. I’d probably retch.

But you hadn’t even tried to address the issue like an adult before excluding him. Speak to your boss now and make sure he deals with it.

It's possible to both believe that the colleague smells revolting and to want to move away, and to accept that all of you putting your hands in front of your faces is bullying. The boss needs to sort this.

You've got to be pretty young to assume those flimsy excuses wouldn't be seen through, OP. You and your colleagues were rude and childish (covering your nose with your hand when someone sits next to you is not the right way to go about this). The better way to manage this sort of situation is to raise it delicately with your boss. (I have had to do similar once. It was awkward, but phrased it in terms of helping the colleague achieve their aims. They were upset they were never involved in client meetings - no one had told them it was because they didn't dress or behave appropriately. The manager understood and presumably had a word with them. You could have done similar. Say that you and the team are keen to work with your colleague, but his hygiene issues are making that difficult. It's then up to the manager to address the issue with your colleague.)

No chance in the world that grievance would be upheld. And as soon as HR learned what OP and colleagues were doing they would agree with the manager and realise it was a grievance raised in spite.

So you’d just quit your job without trying to get the issues resolved by HR or your manager?

It’s on your boss to sort this.
If he won’t then it becomes an HR problem.

I'd find a new job. Honestly it would make me cry to have to be in the same space as someone who stinks, let alone eat my lunch with them.

Their reason for being smelly is irrelevant, I have a sensitivity to smell and wouldn't be able to work in that environment.

Honestly, explain to your boss that its a problem for you and you'd like them to help by addressing it with the individual. How they sort it, isnt your problem, its a management/HR issue. If they can't or won't, just resign. Otherwise your option is to suck it up, which I personally couldn't do.

You handled it really badly in a very schoolchild-clique bullying way.

I would apologise to Tom and be honest - what else can you do. Tell him you admire his work and don't want him to feel unwelcome but his personal hygiene really makes it difficult for you to be around him. This is what is causing his isolation, not you purposefully wanting to make him feel unwelcome. Just say, man to man, please just have a good shower with plenty of soap, wash your clothes, clean your teeth use mouth wash and try not to come into work smelling of weed, and you will find us all completely welcoming.

From what you say, there's no reason he needs to smell that bad. Stinking of weed is not a medical problem he can't overcome. I'm allergic to weed and couldn't bear to be within five metres of someone who stinks of it.

I understand the dilemma of possibly offending someone who has body odour but when it comes to the smell of weed i couldn't give a shit who i offend about that .
It totally offends me and i accept no excuse for someone stinking so badly of weed that it violates my environment.
Your boss is out of order expecting the team to put up with a co worker smelling strongly of drugs.

I was wondering, and ok, it's stereotyping here, if all concerned are ND in some way so aren't reacting well.

The boss needs to speak to Tom
The rest of the team need to know that they have acted badly
Bridges need to be rebuilt.

Are you sure you’re all in the work place and not in primary school?

What absolutely disgusting behaviour

You can get fired for being smelly.
www.thenational.scot/news/national/uk-today/24320307.can-get-fired-work-smelling-bad-office/

Are you 7? Work, and behaving in a professional manner, sometimes involve doing things you don't particularly want to do. And if there's a problem with a co-worker, you deal with it in a mature and appropriate way (by approaching your line manager), not by going 'Hey - work friends, let's all move away from the stinky guy. We can think up some excuses!'.

Ask for a meeting with your boss. Ask your boss whether they have had a conversation with Tom about his hygiene, and what was the outcome.
Make it quite clear to your boss that you expect them to solve this.

Give it a week. If no improvement, go back to your boss and repeat the conversation - what has he done about it and what will he do next? Put pressure on you boss so that he can't just put his head in the sand. Then follow up with an email, confirming the conversation, and noting that it is the second conversation that has taken place.

If still no improvement, forward the email to HR and ask them what action they will take.
Basically, keep escalating and documenting until someone makes sure Tom gets the message
But you have to make sure you are not in the wrong, which means absolutely doing no more bullying and nothing that could be construed as bullying.

Via the boss, surely? I don’t think the OP should have to explain it to ‘Tom’. That could easily generate a formal complaint. I mean, covering his face with his hands would surely make it obvious to ‘Tom’? If not, the guy must be super thick skinned!

I agree with poster who said their is fault on both sides.

The behaviours you and your Co workers are exhibiting could be construed as discriminatory as you are going out of your way to exclud Tom. Tom is still a person irrespective of his smell.

BUT your manager should be the one who raises the hygiene issue with Tom directly. Your manager should be having the discussions with him to understand what's going on in home life and to report there have been concerns on personal hygiene. It can be handled sensitively and tactfully.