threatened with disciplinary for leaving message

[allaboutthatsass]

I'll keep this short.

There's been problems in our department. There are several teams in this department. Myself and several colleagues have complained but no change, so several of us are looking for other jobs.

One colleague has another job and we were asked to sign her leaving card. I signed it along the lines of "congrats you lucky thing! Take me with you, lol x"

Now my manager has pulled me aside and told me my message was 'inappropriate' and could be interpreted badly by other managers in light of all the recent complaints. It could be percieved as 'stirring' and 'bullying'. He says other managers may question him and he may have to give me a warning.

I'm really upset by this. Whilst I obviously do wish I was going too, I didn't think the actual message was 'bad' or something that could warrant an actual warning. I didn't think it was much different from what other people may put in a leaving card and was really trying to be jokey.

So what do I do or say? There's no union. I can't afford to actually leave and I like my job, it offers me lots of great flexibility, I just dont like management.

Nothing wrong with the message you left. It's clearly well known that your department is struggling and the message isn't going out to the public.

Your manager sounds very weak. Either he gives you a warning straight away or doesn't. The fact he's gonna wait to see if other managers say anything tells us a lot about how the message was nothing to worry about and how weak he is.

People often write messages like that . It's nothing to have a warning about what nonsense.

I did ask if he wanted me to tippex another message on top and he said not to as that would be more noticeable.

Agree with this.

No grounds at all for a warning or any disciplinary action. He's a bit of a knob to think otherwise.

However document and date the conversation and ask if you can screen shot that part d the card and keep for reference, just in case.

So many examples on MN lately of so-called managers who don't have a fucking clue about what daft stuff they can threaten employees with. It's amazing how a little bit of power goes to some idiots heads

another colleague has written "run [name] run!" - will they get disciplined too?

Your manager seems OTT. I got a card from my colleagues saying "you got out!!" It's not even remotely stirring - it's fun

If your manager makes any more of this, reverse it and ask what he is doing about the complaints that no-one is addressing and which are leading to people leaving. That would be a much more productive use of his time.

I’d e-mail him cc’ing HR with ‘further to our conversation….then outline what happened and what your message in the card said. Advise he had stated you would possibly get a formal warning and you would like further details on this….’ He’ll slither back into his hole!

well I'd rather not put myself on HR's watch list....

No you are putting him on their list. He cannot give you a warning for this!

Those are standard things to put on leaving cards. Everybody does it even if they like their job.

What bollocks. It's HER leaving card. Addressed to her. The messages were for her personally. If there were in-jokes or anything then it's between her and the person who wrote it.

They've no right to police what people write in cards, especially when the person will never be seen again? 'you lucky git/oh no don't leave me here' etc are common humorous phrases in leaving cards. At least in my workplaces.

Your boss and organisation sound like trash. I hope you get out of there soon.

Presumably minus a fucking leaving card that's being treated like a client facing public document that has the capacity to bring the business into receivership. Wankers. 🙄

It definitely sums up the issue in this organisation - instead of addressing the issues, they just turn on us.

It sounds like if they did attempt any disciplinary route it would be an abuse of the process. ACAS's guidance about the disciplinary process is useful if you want to see how very careful employers have to be if they don't want to end up making problems for themselves by doing it wrong.
You could even show the ACAS guidance to your manager - as well as the guidance about the parallel grievance process that you can follow if you want to complain about your manager's overbearing remark. Just the sight of it may be enough to get them to back away.

https://www.acas.org.uk/disciplinary-and-grievance-procedures

When I left a job overseas, one whole department came along to my leaving do, announced they had something special for me, and then pulled out suitcases and announced they were coming with me. Everyone laughed their heads off. Your manager is being a spineless wimp.

Ha ha. I had almost the same. Bought a card that said we were jealous. Was told it was derogatory to company. Had to buy another. Was only signed by complainer and one other. Pathetic, lack of humour.

My leaving card said 'congratulations on your escape' on the front. Loads of senior staff signed it, including one from HR.

A warning for this would be totally ridiculous.

I have terrible anxiety and I overthink everything hence why I'm really panicking about this.

Your DF has landed a great job what's to misinterpret?

This is not a disciplinary matter. Take someone with you if it escalates.

It's well known that people leave jobs due to bad managers. In your case that sounds apt.

Who does he think you could be bullying with that message? That bit makes no sense at all.

This!

No grounds at all for a warning or any disciplinary action. He's a bit of a knob to think otherwise.

This is precisely why he said he “may” have to give the OP a warning. He wants to make his little point and hopes the mere mention of a warning will put the wind up the OP. I don’t believe he’d actually try to do it - what would be the grounds?

OP - you could ask your manager to confirm exactly what company policy or condition of employment you have breached that would warrant you being given a warning. “It could be perceived as stirring” is not a disciplinary matter - or at least, not on such vague grounds. He would have a very hard time trying to prove that congratulating a colleague on getting a new job was an attempt to undermine confidence in the company.

However, you could potentially just ride it out, because I don’t believe this warning will ever happen. Does he really want to draw extra attention to how bad things have become in his department? It’s interesting that he said “Other managers may question him” - it sounds like he’s worried the question will be “Why are so many of your department looking to leave?”, not “What does OP think she’s playing at with this message?”

What a loser he is. Is he that insecure he can’t cope with a lighthearted joke? JFC, in our office, if someone leaves, we write “you’re dead to us” or “good luck on your new adventure… TRAITOR”. There’s definitely been a few “take me with you”s even though our team is actually well managed and gets a long really well. In fact, most of the people who have left our team/company, we’re all still in contact with!

what an absolute fun sponge

The only one being a bully or possible stirring it up is this so called manager!
what you write in a colleague’s card is nothing to do with the company. Tell them to jog on.

Agree Brighton but I still maintain he's a knob for even verbalising it. You don't talk about disciplinary procedures full stop unless you intend to do it. Just makes you look stupid and people loose even more respect for you.